John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Seventy-One : The New York Ripper

It's been a while since I actually watched this movie. I remember my initial reaction being of boredom and befuddlement at the "plot" and the "twist". So I hopped on YouTube, hoping a second viewing would alleviate my poor recollection of the film.

Alas...it didn't. This movie is balls.

First of all, it's hard to rip on a movie called "The New York Ripper", because hey, you know what you're getting. A guy in New York ripping people up. But let's start with the elephant in the room in this movie. The killer speaks like a duck. Why? Why does he sound not just like a duck, but Donald Ducking Duck. (Pardon my inappropriate use of "duck".) Is it explained in Fulci's rambling incoherent script? I have no idea. If it was, I don't want to go back and find out, so sure, comment me why he talks like that.

This killer does a few things that are kind of bland, and some that just smack of titillation of the audience. He bothers the detective with phone calls, and kills only women. And I mean, random women. He kills a woman on a boat for talking to him, he kills a woman at a sex show for, well, blaming an entire race of people for burned out light bulbs, and in Fulci-esque style, tortures and kills a girl while slicing her eye.

I've seen this stuff before. And don't get me wrong. I love slashers. Read my review of "The Prowler", one of the most bland slashers ever made. I do like them.

But this movie, in all it's random masturbation scenes, it's misogyny against women by men who don't get punished, but women who do, and it's non-existent plot points, is a quickie by all means. You can tell, this was a paycheck.

But hey, at least we get to see Paolo Malco, from the other yawner "The House By The Cemetery" bore us to death again.

Sorry folks. Nothing to see here.