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John's Horror Banana-nanza Episode Seventy-One : The New York Ripper

Updated on January 8, 2013
I think the script might be in that MIA mailbox.
I think the script might be in that MIA mailbox.

It's been a while since I actually watched this movie. I remember my initial reaction being of boredom and befuddlement at the "plot" and the "twist". So I hopped on YouTube, hoping a second viewing would alleviate my poor recollection of the film. didn't. This movie is balls.

First of all, it's hard to rip on a movie called "The New York Ripper", because hey, you know what you're getting. A guy in New York ripping people up. But let's start with the elephant in the room in this movie. The killer speaks like a duck. Why? Why does he sound not just like a duck, but Donald Ducking Duck. (Pardon my inappropriate use of "duck".) Is it explained in Fulci's rambling incoherent script? I have no idea. If it was, I don't want to go back and find out, so sure, comment me why he talks like that.

This killer does a few things that are kind of bland, and some that just smack of titillation of the audience. He bothers the detective with phone calls, and kills only women. And I mean, random women. He kills a woman on a boat for talking to him, he kills a woman at a sex show for, well, blaming an entire race of people for burned out light bulbs, and in Fulci-esque style, tortures and kills a girl while slicing her eye.

I've seen this stuff before. And don't get me wrong. I love slashers. Read my review of "The Prowler", one of the most bland slashers ever made. I do like them.

But this movie, in all it's random masturbation scenes, it's misogyny against women by men who don't get punished, but women who do, and it's non-existent plot points, is a quickie by all means. You can tell, this was a paycheck.

But hey, at least we get to see Paolo Malco, from the other yawner "The House By The Cemetery" bore us to death again.

Sorry folks. Nothing to see here.

The Trailer.


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