"Krampus" Movie Review
Have you ever been watching a movie and suddenly you start to think, "I can't believe I was ever excited to see this" ? That's what happened to me during my viewing of the "horror" film Krampus. I put horror in quotations because I don't think it could even be classified as horror. Suspense? No, not really? Thriller? Nah. Let's just call it a monster movie. Even those ridiculous mutated-shark movies are called monster movies which, by the way, are ten times better than this. At least they're entertaining. Krampus, on the other hand, is like watching a slow-motion one-car pileup.
The movie centers around the mythical creature, you guessed it, Krampus who comes to take rather than give. If a kid wishes for, say, his family to disappear or for his brother to drop dead, then Krampus will come and take your family away. Sounds dark right? So why was it so comically unpleasant?
The effects are what really killed the movie. Krampus himself looked pretty creepy but all the evil toys he used weren't creepy at all. Remember in Toy Story when the doll's head on mechanical spider legs crept out from under the bed? Yeah, that was scarier than these toys.
The acting wasn't too bad, especially from Adam Scott. I think one of the problems with the cast was that there were too many comedic actors and not enough serious actors who know how to freak out during crisis. Usually i get impatient with actors that overdo it when they're supposed to be panicking or worried but this time I really wanted one of the Scream cast members in there.
In conclusion, I would recommend skipping this one but if you want to see for yourself what it's like then that's fine too. Don't get your hopes up, though. It might be all right if you're stoned out of your mind our a little drunk but it is horrible if you're sober.
© 2016 Nathan Jasper