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Make Your Own Fortunes for Fortune Cookies

Updated on February 16, 2008

Do you have a ritual when it comes to fortune cookies? One of the neatest things about these cookies is that eating them is actually the least important part of your fortune cookie experience. Some people believe that the fortune cookie closest to you is the one you should get—that’s right, no more reaching across the table for the bigger cookie. Other people like to read their fortunes aloud, while some prefer to keep them quiet. I know some who believe you have to eat half of the cookie before reading the fortune, or it won’t come true. A lot of people like to tag a saying on to the end of the fortune, like “in bed.” You know those people want a fortune that says something like: “You will find great joy.” …in bed!

If you enjoy the whole ritual that comes along with fortune cookies, you might be interested in making your own. There are several recipes for homemade fortune cookies. Honestly, though, what is the point of a fortune cookie without a fortune? If you decide to make your own cookies, you must make some fortunes.

Think of the fun you can have with your friends! Of course, you can make serious fortunes, but where is the fun in that? Wouldn’t you rather make it a fun joke? Of course you do!

What does your fortune say?

Ideas for Your Homemade Fortunes

I’m going to provide a list of ideas for fortunes, but feel free to think of your own and share them with us in the comment box at the bottom of the page.

  • · Your meal did have MSG.
  • · There was a stranger’s hair in your soup.
  • · Smile: everyone is staring at you.
  • · Everyone knows you are wearing a toupee.
  • · You can’t count your eggs if the chicken is already dead.
  • · The fat man walks alone.
  • · Cleanliness is next to saintliness, but you are far from both.
  • · Chinese food reigns supreme.
  • · In small print: Expires 02/1987
  • · When all else fails, add more salt.
  • · Eating shellfish from a buffet is never wise.
  • · Duh!
  • · Don’t watch the movie, read the book.
  • · A scarf around the neck is the sign of a steady head.
  • · Don’t be fooled by a peacock’s beauty for his bite is bloody.
  • · Whenever it is wet underfoot, wear galoshes.
  • · An after-dinner walk stimulates the blood.
  • · Nothing suits a full belly better than a game of freeze tag.
  • · Crumbs are the essence of what was.
  • · The ten second rule never applies in public.
  • · Got mints?
  • · All your fears are true.
  • · Arguing with a wise man will only get you foolishness.
  • · Real men wear tighty whities.
  • · Bananas are not a juicy fruit.
  • · Desire is a great man’s undoing.
  • · Do everyone a favor when you are grumpy: shut up.

Some of the above fortunes are funnier than others. In fact, some are more serious than funny—not a lot, but some. So, you have the freedom to do what you want with your own fortunes. You can be brutally honest: tell someone their nose is too big or their new boyfriend is a perv. Or, you could be funny. Or sweet. Or optimistic.

The future is in your hands. Use the power.

Comments

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    • profile image

      rosiettastoned 

      5 years ago

      My fortunes: *You'll win one hundred dollars on a button at jcpennys.

      *When you turn around you'll see 1000 100 dollar bills.

      *Soon, victory will be yours.

      *Tomorrow will be a great day for you.

      *you'll be a vampire

      *you'll grow a mushtace

    • profile image

      anonomus 

      6 years ago

      Sometimes, ones stupidity in dangerous. Go to collage.

    • profile image

      Wes Meadows _Clearwater_Fl 

      6 years ago

      The more you know the more you know you don't know.

    • profile image

      i dont have a fake name idea 

      7 years ago

      my fortunes!

      you will ragequit your job and turn into a panther

      you will know something you don't know when you wake up

      you will poop out your mouth

      i will steal your face

      ha ha no fortune >:D

      ever wonder how these are made? im not telling cuz ur fat

      YOUR MOM

      you well fall down a hole into internet land

    • Sean Leong profile image

      Sean Leong 

      8 years ago from Malaysia

      Stacie,

      Well written article. You don't find fortune cookies in Asia though.

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile imageAUTHOR

      Stacie Naczelnik 

      10 years ago from Seattle

      I love it when the fortunes are fitting and funny!

      Before we got married, my husband and I shared a fortune cookie. It said, "Where there's a will, there's a way." It was timely because he was getting ready to go home to Poland, and we weren't sure if our relationship would continue. There was a will and we found a way.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish MS 

      10 years ago from USA. Member of Asgardia, the first space nation, since October 2016

      I went to a Cinese dinner with some friends and one of them brought a new work associate (happened to be Chinese) who had just eaten but joined and had tea. Out orders took a long time and there were mistakes and reordering.

      When the fortune cookies came, the tea-drinking guest opened his to find:

      "To him who waits, a minute is like an hour."

      He just dropped it and started laughing, as we all did.

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