Miley Cyrus Headed For Trouble

This article contains some negative speculation and cruel conjecture that may cause undue distress to Miley Cyrus fans. If you are a Miley Fan, go to this hub, which focuses entirely on how wonderfully super awesome she is!

Awesome Miley Cyrus!

Billy Ray Cyrus has put his little girl up on the Hollywood Block, and Miley Cyrus is loving it. At 15 years old she knows it all, and swears that it isn't all that hard not to get into trouble when you're a Hollywood star. Miley even felt qualified to comment on Britney Spears, saying: "I understand and the pressure is definitely hard, but I think just keeping your head on your shoulders is easier than it looks," she said. "I think if you know who you are, then I think you'll be fine for the rest of the way."

She's not the first star to use this term, but I'm going to pick on her anyway. What the hell does the phrase 'knowing who you are' actually mean? Does it mean that you're aware of your status as a human being? Or is it supposed to refer to a deeper self knowledge, like that strived for and attained after many lifetimes of suffering by hardcore Buddhist monks who dine on mice droppings and break steel rods across their backs?

I am going to assume that she was going for something closer to the second definition, and I would postulate that at 15, Miley Cyrus doesn't have a clue who she is. If you check out these pictures, you'll see another vapid, oversexed teenager dressed inappropriately for her age and looking like prime jail bait. This is the way Disney raises its child stars of course, pushing them into the limelight, filling their heads full of confidence in absolute bullshit, and setting them up for massive failure in later life.

Will Miley Cyrus go down the path of Britney Spears? Probably not, not unless she develops the same sort of mental disorder that Britney is clearly suffering from. However the odds are pretty high that she will soon be experimenting with Class A drugs (if she hasn't already), and finding that they're actually pretty finger lickin' good.

Now as much as I love listening to precocious little brats expound on the world at large, I'm going to secretly snicker when she 'forgets who she is' and does something completely stupid.

So, what do you reckon will happen first? There's quite a range of illicit activities to chose from, the top three favorites being:

• Drug Addiction, followed by rehab
• DUI, repeat offences, followed by rehab.
• Teen Pregnancy to a shadowy older figure.

I'm going to go with the teen pregnancy option, just because of the way she's vamping it up in these pictures. Clearly she's already gotten a taste for male attention, reminiscent of our older train wrecks, Britney, Lindsay, and Paris.

Not that anyone is listening, but would someone please put this kid in jeans and a tshirt and send her to school? As much fun as it is watching Hollywood pimp out kids for every last dollar and then leaving them washed up hollow shells of their former selves at the age of 21, it's starting to get a little old.