Movie Review: "Halloween: Resurrection" (2002)

DISCLAIMER: This review may contain spoilers.

Artist: Michael Myers featuring Bustha Rhymes, Tyra Banks, and Jamie Lee Curtis

Video: "Halloween: Resurrection"

Label: Dimension/Miramax

Director: Rick Rosenthal

...Oh wait a second, this is a movie right? I was just about to give "Halloween: Resurrection" a music video review instead of a film review. Ha, it could have fooled me, given the sleazy marketing gimmick behind this film. More on that in a bit. Let me begin by saying that "Halloween: Resurrection" is perhaps the second worst 'Halloween' film, right behind "Halloween III: Season of the Witch".

The past 'Halloween' movies have had their own share of flaws. For instance, it doesn't make sense that Michael Myers was held captive for so long and then was somehow forced to impregnate Jamie in "Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers". Secondly, there's "Halloween: H20" which was obviously modeled after the "Scream" films, I mean just look at the poster; not to mention, what the heck was Michael Myers doing for twenty freaken years!?

But with all that aside, "Halloween: Resurrection" takes the cake alongside the third movie. Anyway, the slapped-together plot involves Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks putting together a haunted house project filmed live on television through various cameras. The haunted house in question is the original home of Laurie Strode. A bunch of college students are recruited to be the victims, I mean contestants, and you can pretty much figure out all the rest.

Talk about a cop out. Jamie Lee Curtis' character is killed off early on in the first act. See it turns out that at the end of "Halloween: H20", Michael Myers changed outfits with one of the paramedics he killed in the ambulance. So the guy with his mask whom she killed at the end of 'H20' was really a paramedic and not Michael Myers.

Because of this, she's in a mental institution by the time "Halloween: Resurrection" begins. So Michael Myers breaks into the loony bin and kills her. But why? Why must she die so early on? Something tells me that this was Jamie Lee Curtis' idea. If I were her and I read what else was to come in this script, I'd probably ask for an early death scene too.

Now one must beg the question...

What is Busta Rhymes doing in this movie?

Before answering that question, let's talk briefly about LL Cool J who was in the previous film. This guy is one of the very few rappers who can pull off the whole acting thing without letting his Hip Hop persona overshadow his character in the movie. But Busta Rhymes isn't. I totally bought LL Cool J as the low-key campus security guard, I never once thought while watching 'H20': "Oh look, there's LL Cool J!"

I think once the studio saw the positive results of LL Cool J's performance in "Halloween: H20", they must have really let it get to their heads and figured Oh, maybe we should include another high profile rapper and he'll be just as good; and while we're at it, let's just throw in one of America's most well-known models.

Even better, they gave Busta Rhymes an even bigger role here than LL Cool J had in 'H20'. His performance here is a prime example of rappers overreACTING in movies. This guy is not whoever the heck he's playing here, he's playing himself. The worst part of "Halloween: Resurrection" is when Busta Rhymes... prepare yourself... dresses up like Michael Myers and verbally threatens the real Michael Myers with ghetto verbose (this goes on for only a minute, but it feels much longer).

Something tells me that maybe Busta Rhymes wrote that one scene. Either way, it doesn't belong in a 'Halloween' movie. Actually, asinine scenes like this one belong in a 'Scary Movie' sequel (which has plenty of untalented actor/rappers).

Then at the end of the movie, Busta Rhymes battles it out with Michael Myers as the house goes up in flames around them. It's obvious they gave him one too many liberties simply because he's Busta Rhymes. And because he's such a successful rapper, they automatically think he can be successful at anything he touches. Yeah right, maybe in a fantasy novel.

Much like Samuel L. Jackson in the 'Star Wars' prequels, the hype involving Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks talking down to and beating the crap out of Michael Myers was nothing but a sleazy marketing gimmick.

• What are breakable doors doing in a psych ward?
• When Busta Rhymes is dressed up like Michael Myers and overreACTING, the real Michael Myers just gives him a confused look and walks away without even killing him. WTF!? Since when has Michael Myers done this with any of his past victims? I could imagine Busta Rhymes' thought mentality while writing this scene... Nah chill, yo! I ain't gon' die, I'ma make it all the way to the end, then I'm gonna speak like a big ol' ghetto retard to the news reporters before the credits roll, yeaaahhhhh BOYYYEEE!

• Unless you're making 'Scary Movie', a 'Transformers' sequel, or a movie about Madea, don't cast any rappers or models to act in your film.