Mike Errico: A Lost Review From 2003

Musician and Professor at NYU’s Clive Davis Institute of Recorded MusicNew York-based recording artist, writer, and professor Mike Errico has built his name on the strength of critically-acclaimed releases and extensive composition for film and TV. He has taught songwriting at Yale and Wesleyan universities and is presently at NYU’s Clive Davis Institute of Recorded Music. In addition to his performing career, Errico’s opinions and insights have appeared in publications including The New York Times, CNN, The Wall Street Journal, Fast Company, The UK Independent and The Observer. His new album, Minor Fits, will be released on June 27th, but advance singles are available at PledgeMusic, Bandcamp, and major streaming services

http://errico.com/

10/14/2003

Well right now I am sitting in this extremely overcrowded faculty dining area awaiting...."the guitar dude". He is supposed to be playing on Drury University Campus tonight and Alaina dragged me with her because she didn't want to go by herself. I don't blame her. Everyone really gives off snobby rich people vibes. HMPH. Private school bitches. Hey, if you want to pay $300 for a text book...great. Now that I am done bashing Drury University, I will move on. After all this is Alaina's school and this event is for one of her classes.

Turns out "the guitar dude" has a name. "Mike Erreca" or something like that. He was hovering over Alaina (duh because she is hot) and a few minutes ago talking to some overly peppy and excited student activity chicks.

Wait a minute. His name is Mike Errico and he is from New York. He has several T-Shirts and various CDs that I cannot afford to buy. "Dude...we are in college. You think we can afford your merch? We can barely afford to come to your free concert."

Alaina and I found a couple of chairs off to the side and got comfortable. Everyone filing into the area seemed so stoked to be here. I was starting to notice that perhaps I was the only one with a sour face on so I reminded myself to have a positive attitude, give this dude a chance, give new music a listen, COME ON! I can do this!

I immediately notice that this guy sounds like a Dave Matthews and Matchbox 20 combination plate. I think I will document my opinions throughout his showcase and pretend I am a music critic. Ya never know when a random music review of somebody that nobody in your town has heard of will come in handy.

• Song 1: He likes the harmonica

Random thought just now. Maybe I should write Alaina's paper for her?

• Song 2: Sounds like song 1
• Song 3: I have decided that Mike sounds like the guy from the Counting Crows. I absolutely hate that band.

Observation: Alaina is loving it!

• Song 4: I have also decided that his lyrics suck and he talks too much between songs

At this point I keep looking over at Alaina waiting for her to give me some sort of look as though she could be hating it too.

CRAP.

She is totally digging this whole scene. I need coffee.

PAUSE.....on a mission to sneak out and find the coffee machine.

10 minutes later.

I fueled up fast, almost burning my throat and mouth in the process. I am back. Pen in hand. The burning sensation in my mouth helped me to get something in my mind for one brief moment besides the torment that I am enduring from New York Mike Blah Blah Blah, whatever his name is.

• Song 5: Sounded a lot like song 4 and I noticed that he likes to beat his guitar with his heavy ring to add a hypnotizing rhythm that is making me trance out. "NO.....I MUST NOT.....Yaaaawwwwn"
• Song 6: After 10 minutes, AT LEAST, of mumbling personal details about his wonderful rock star lifestyle, he almost gave me a heart attack by instantly going from "Heroin Sedated Guy" to "POW!". This is a very loud guitar song!

"God when will this hippie bullshit Dave Matthews rip off ever end?"

I look over at Alaina again and she is loving everything . She is laughing because she is either loving it and having the best time or the music is making her delusional.

• Song 7: Great crowd interaction and now more mumbling about the song. Am I the only one that cannot understand this guy? NOOOOOO! It's a ballad!

I am now wondering to myself, "How many songs does this dude freaking have????" I look down at the program that has his musical bio on it.

"OH NO. TWO albums worth."

PAUSE.....I need to smoke. Maybe I can sneak away if I act like I am going to find a bathroom?

15 minutes later.

Well it seems like I am stuck in a time warp. I wander around the student center on an unfamiliar campus trying to find a bathroom. I actually started to wonder five minutes in if people that attend school here ever go to the bathroom. It was killing time and made it to where I did not have to sit through Song 8. I walked in and the song was almost over. He was trying to get funky with his guitar. Whoa, look out. Acoustic trickery. It could also be the fact that I am light headed from sucking down a cigarette too fast after I found the bathroom.

• Song 9: Great. He is going political now with a scary wooden instrument that he is now tapping on. Sounds like one of those Jamaican steel drums or a Paul Simon song from the "Graceland" album. This song is just going bad.

"Kill me. Please. This Blows."

OH YES!!! Alaina is finally trailing. I just noticed her doodling on her paper. "Why doesn't she just want to leave?" There is about half the crowd now because people have been sneaking off since song 4. However, 9 songs seems to be the limit as to what a person can take. Afterall, young people have short attention spans. I look at this poor soul really singing his heart out and suddenly I feel sorry for him until he says the words, "New Record."

• Song 10: The new record song. He is back on guitar and is making bird noises into the microphone. I do not think a mentally ill person would be able to handle this guy's show, especially a paranoid schizophrenic. I see those noises triggering fits of rage. He is dubbing the strange bird noise so it constantly repeats itself while he plays.

"How freaking annoying"

Alaina is paying attention to this guy again. NO!

I wonder if life gets lonely on the road?

WAIT! I just had a major realization! The bird sound is supposed to be the sound of seagulls but it actually sounds like Native American war cries of some estranged tribe about to kill us with bad music and lyrics.

Note to self: Do not come to an acoustic night ever again at ANY university.

"Ok thank the lord that song was short lived. Please say goodnight. PLEASE SAY GOODNIGHT!!!"

Nope.

There is actually a friggin' song 11. It is a song about some movie I have never heard of but sounds like songs 3-8.

10:46pm Alaina finally looks bored now. What could she possibly write about this? Should I just giver her my notes?

10:48pm She is ready to go. Oh you better believe she owes me a freakin' latte for this bullshit.

With ten minutes AT LEAST left of this guys show, we slowly and as quietly as possible try to sneak out the room. Unfortunately two tall clumsy girls like us are unable to make any sort of a graceful exit. I trip over my back pack and accidentally kick the chair next to me which causes a loud banging sound on the tile floors. We both look at each other in horror as several hard core fans glare at us for disturbing their last few minutes of heaven with this Blah blah dude. For me, it was definitely an experience much like torture. For Alaina, a mandatory concert that she know has to write a smart and sensitive paper about. Bummer.

Alaina wrote this in my notebook and I thought I would share her thoughts:

WE ARE GETTING FUCKING LATTES! OK? FUCK! I have to do this for class! That's right class! Did you forget how much college sucks already? ~Alaina

I am sure you are thinking right now readers...."well Holley, how do you feel about him now?"

I still think he totally blows.