So Near But so Far - Big Breaks for Bard of Ely that Didn't Happen
So Very Close to Success
As a writer, singer-songwriter and creative artist I have for many years been searching in vain for that elusive big break, the one that launches you out of the poverty trap and means that at last you are getting financial reward for your efforts.
There are billions of us on the planet, all hoping to becomes stars in the world of entertainment, all searching for our lucky break. But only a minority ever achieve it and see their dream come true!
Some Moments of Being Nearly a Big Success
The Law of Attraction or The Secret does not work
It is so frustrating to get so close but not close enough, or to get the contacts or the deal you are after but for something unforeseen to still go horribly wrong. Eventually it is possible to get used to it and the disappointment doesn't hit you so much. It is even possible to look back and see the funny side of things at times.
I have for many years been hoping and praying to get my break in many different fields. I would have been and still would be happy to be a TV celebrity, a film star, a signed musician, a singer-songwriter with a publishing contract, a successful author, a newspaper columnist for a publication that pays well, or a radio presenter.
I have had my taste of all of it but never landed the job that established me as an artist who gets a decent and regular income.
I thought I'd share some of my experiences of how so often I have thought at last this is going to be it, and then for it all to go crashing down.
I can assure fans of the Law of Attraction it has nothing to do with any of that. I have visualised what I wanted, I have believed I have got it, I have had promises made, I have even seen actual products with my name to them made but then usually some unforseen disaster happens or some other person messes it all up and you are back to being a struggling artist again struggling!
Q Magazine
I first thought I was really getting somewhere back in 1989 when I had my song Jungle Love included on Meltdown The Album compilation on vinyl of local acts from South Wales. It was really exciting at the time to see that my song was picked out as a "highlight" by Paul Davies of Q magazine, who further added that it was what he would call "swamp rock".
It was brilliant getting a full page feature on me in the South Wales Echo and getting airplay on local radio as well as being invited on as Steve Johnson's guest in Red Dragon FM, Valleys Radio, Radio Wales and Bridge FM. It was fantastic to hear my song Kingfisher blasting out from a chip shop in Cardiff's Caroline Street one evening when it was being played on Steve's radio show.
These were early moments when I thought real success must be happening soon but it never did.
Rebecca's Daughters
In 1992 I had a taste of being in a film that was going on general release when I had two roles as an extra in Karl Francis' Rebecca's Daughters. I was a gypsy and also one of Rebecca's daughters, who were Welsh rioters who blacked up their faces and dressed as women as a disguise in Dylan Thomas' story.
It was great fun and I got to meet some of the big stars including Joely Richardson and Keith Allen. Keith took the picture of me included in the photos here and there is another of me pictured with Joely. Director Karl Francis said I really looked the part, which I took as a great compliment.
Newport Film School
I remember thinking the first day on the set that this is what I ought to be doing. A year or so after I was the Warlock in a Newport Film School production by Alison Thompson of Bloduewedd and also got a small part playing an alien henchman in Dave Jones' Sci-fi short Red Dragon for the HTV Wales series of Shotgun Slideshow. It was all great experience but hardly the big time.
Very Good Records
In the mid-90s, I had two limited edition vinyl releases I felt excited about at the time, both on German labels. The first was an LP called Sound of One on Very Good Records. The deal was that the owner of the label was supposed to send half of the 500 copies over to me and he would keep the others.
This never happened - he sent me the first 100 plus a lot of extra sleeves for the others which were on their way but the rest never got sent and after a while I never heard from him again.
I spent loads on sending copies out as promo. I also found out that because the release was on vinyl that local radio wouldn't play it because it was all CDs now. I put some in Spillers Record shop but they were very slow to sell when in competition with all the stuff on big labels with big publicity.
I heard that Thomas the guy who owned the label went bust and never had the money to send over the rest of my records. When I moved here after hanging on for years to empty sleeves I very sadly ended up throwing them away. I wonder where the other records ended up?
Gruff Rhys
The original record is probably now very collectible as will be Mask, my EP on plum-coloured vinyl on Pink Lemon Records. Gruff Rhys from the Super Furry Animals told me he would buy a copy and he did, and he has both my vinyl releases in his record collection.
Ralf the owner of Pink Lemon wanted to do a limited edition boxed set of Beatles cover songs and invited me to be one of the acts contributing. I thought this would be great publicity if nothing else and ended up paying for studio time to get Let It Be and John Lennon's Working Class Hero recorded. I sent them in but after the years went by it appeared that this was yet another project started with the best of intentions that came to nothing!
Glastonbury Festival
I had played on smaller stages at Glastonbury Festival by then and the one year I was approached by a famous British photographer called Peter McDiarmid who wanted to take some pictures of me because I looked "interesting."
Being a self-confessed "media tart" I was pleased to pose for his camera, but after the festival I forgot all about it until Ruth, who was the girlfriend of a musican friend of mine called Andre, said that she had seen me in an exhibition in the Tate Gallery in London. Ruth showed me a postcard from the show and it had an address for Peter so I got in touch with him hoping that just maybe there were postcards of me too. There weren't but he sent me a print of my photo that was on display and said it was OK for me to use for personal publicity purposes.
BBC Choice
In 1998, following passing a BTEC Diploma in Media at a local college I was spotted by one of the lecturers as being good as a TV presenter. He pulled some strings and very soon I was co-presenting in a magazine series called In Full View that went out on BBC Choice, the new digital channel.
We were filming short pieces of me out and about in the countryside telling the viewers about what I found there. It gave me a chance to be a TV naturalist and botanist. It was a small taste of being a new David Attenborough or David Bellamy. And the pay was good too for a change!
I really thought that at last I might get seen by someone higher up in the TV network and taken on as full time presenter. I thought my career was about to blossom and that I was about to become a television celebrity. The only trouble was that not many people had digital in those days and the series finished.
I never even saw all the episodes I was in because I couldn't watch it at home and I was never given videos of all of my parts. The VHS videos I did get are in a cupboard in my dad's house in Wales as part of my archives in my quest for stardom.
Publicity for the Taffia EP
Taffia Ep
Manic Street Preachers
Then I was back to the world of music with my next big chance at success. It was the end of 1999 and the Manic Street Preachers were seeing in the New Year with a concert at Cardiff's Millennium Stadium.
Nicky Wire
It was advertised as having cheap drinks prices and I saw Nicky Wire from the band on TV doing a bit of pre-show publicity. The message was going out that the Millennium Stadium was going to be the biggest pub in Cardiff and that the prices were going to be "normal" ones and not inflated because of the occasion.
I like a lot of what the Manics had done and bought my ticket. But on the night, along with all the thousands of other fans I was to have a big shock - there were hardly any bars in the stadium actually open and the prices were extortionate.
People were forced to queue for hours with no guarantee they would be served because the bars were sometimes closed even though there were masses of people waiting. I suppose they had run out of drink to sell but that's no excuse! And if you did get served the prices were nowhere near "normal" - it was six pounds for a Red Bull and single Vodka.
I was horrified and really annoyed by this. I hoped the Manics would at least maybe make a public apology to their fans and point out that they had entered the agreement with the venue in good faith, but the band said nothing.
This catering fiasco was complained about in the postbag of the South Wales Echo for many weeks after. I made up my mind at the event that I was going to write a song called You're a Liar, Nicky Wire about it all and told my friend Sid Stovold of the now defunct band Inter.
"You are on to a definite winner there, Steve," my friend said.
Young Marble Giants
To cut a long story short, and it is a long one, my song finally got recorded with the help of Cardiff musical entrepeneur Jah Scouse and featured the production of Phil Moxham of the legendary Young Marble Giants. After being banned from a local record shop before it was even released the song got a rave review in the NME music paper, featured on the new bands section of the BBC R1 website and, most importantly, Rhys Mwyn signed it to Crai Records.
Taffia EP
You're a Liar, Nicky Wire was to front the Taffia EP and Crai is the leading label in Wales and was responsible for launching Catatonia's career. It was all looking good.
Unfortunately the DAT master that Phil gave in to the record company had something wrong with it and it had to go back to him to be redone and resent. By the time that it was finally released after all the delay, nearly two years had passed.
Promo copies went out and a letter was received from one of the heads of radio at the BBC saying that sadly the song was now well past its newsworthyness so they wouldn't be playing it again. This was a valid point and there wasn't anything that could be done.
Green Man Festival
I had a stroke of luck getting to be compere and performer at the first and second Green Man Festivals in 2003 and 2004 but then I moved over to Tenerife and although Jo and Danny who run it wanted me to take part in the next one I couldn't take part because it was too far for me to travel now. The Green Man Festival has now become one of the most successful events in the UK.
Herbs of the Northern Shaman
Herbs of the Northern Shaman
Besides the acting and the music I tried my hand as an author. Knowing a lot about botany and herbalism as well as having experimented with various mind-altering plants in my past I decided to write a book on the subject, which was finally published in 2000 by Loompanics in America as Herbs of the Northern Shaman .
Thorsons
Before that I wasted nearly two years passing it around potential publishers in London. At one point my hopes were really raised when I got an interview to meet with Louise McNamara, who was an editor at Thorson's at the time. We got on very well and she loved my work and said leave it with me and I'll do my best to get this taken on.
You can imagine my excitement thinking that I was about to become an author for a big London book publisher. But sadly a week or so later Louise wrote to me saying that despite her best efforts her colleagues were unwilling to publish it. So I got turned down by all the London publishing houses just like JK Rowling!
After that I thought I will try abroad and within two weeks not years, Loompanics said they would take it. They gave me $1,000 advance and sent me a box of the books, and once again I was thinking at last I've done it!
Unfortunately I then got to find out about distributors and bookshop chains and the cost of shipping books from the US to the UK. It wasn't going to be as easy as I thought.
Howard Marks
The book got some great reviews and sold well at events if I was booked as quest speaker and at one point, best-selling author turned DJ Howard Marks aka Mr Nice, sent me a postcard saying he thought it was "excellent" and was prepared to help by selling it alongside his own books on his ongoing tours.
This was a fantastic opportunity but not having the sort of money it would take to ship the books over in quantities that would make it feasible I had to miss out on his very kind offer. I could hardly say thanks so much, Howard, but I wonder could you loan me the money to pay for me to get my books from America?
A year or so later Loompanics had to close down and that meant my book was out-of-print. I have seen it selling for crazy, and I mean crazy prices on eBay and Amazon!
O-Books
After putting it on lulu.com I managed to find a proper publisher again. Herbs of the Northern Shaman was accepted for publication by O-Books.
It came out again in the autumn of 2010, completely repackaged with all new photos by Katrinia Rindsberg.
I am keeping on at it all because I don't give in easily and in the words of the Bachman Turner Overdrive hit "you ain't seen nothing yet!"
© 2008 Steve Andrews
Related
Comments
AUTHORThank you, Sparkster! btw I am good enough to be in Wikipedia and accepted as a "Welsh icon" but probably one of the poorest ever!
Wow, Bard! You are clearly a very hard-working and very creative individual and for that reason I actually regard you as a bit of an inspiration.
This hub was a fascinating read and you've actually mentioned a few places and people I am familiar with myself. You may not have hit the big-time but you have accomplished a lot and in my book that IS success - whether you make a living from it or not. In fact, as Theo Paphitis once said money is just a by-product of success.
As for the Manic Street Preachers, James Dean Bradfield actually hangs out a lot in one of my locals and I had got chatting to him the one night. Upon meeting him again a week or so later he was extremely rude and I lost all the respect I ever had for him at that moment.
- AUTHOR
Thank you for the info!
I'm not an engineer, but we can get all the energy we want from thorium. As it is a lot more safer than uranium. But no government will fund a thorium powered power station. Even ordinary nuclear power can be made a lot more safer, they are at present using old technology. You can read more about this at, http://bravenewclimate.com/ but it is mostly for people with a science or engineering degree.
There are other means of producing power as well. Water could be used as well, as it is hydrogen and oxygen, if it is heated enough to a very hot super steam, it will ignite, and can be used as a fuel.
The problem is that things like thorium or new nuclear technology is not going to make the rich a lot of money. This also rules out using water as a fuel. It is all about money and power and not about what is good for the people or the planet. This is why we need to get rid of patriarchy and replace it with matriarchy.
- AUTHOR
In the Amazon the plan is for lots more dams after this and it will not only deprive thousands of people of their homes and lifestyle but render hundreds of species extinct and destroy vast amounts of the forest. This will have a very bad effect on worldwide weather. I recommend the film Belo Monte Announcement of a War - http://youtu.be/ZoRhavupkfw for the full picture of what is being done. It is insane and I am not surprised the chiefs are saying they will fight to the death over this.
What you say about alternative ways of getting the power we need is a big part of conspiracy theory but if it is true then this needs to be known about.
Unfortunately in Brazil it is a woman in power because the president is Dilma Rousseff. She is bound to get the blame for allowing this insanity.
There are always more than one way of doing anything. Patriarchy does seem to have the attitude, "the ends justify the means." So if they believe that building a dam will help the country, then anyone living in the area being flooded, is a problem you overcome with brutal force. (A typical masculine response). Matriarchy may come to the same conclusion, but they are far more likely to speak to the people those homes are to be flooded and discuss with them what is the best way forward for everyone.
Also, we may not have to obtain our power from coal, oil, nuclear or hydro-electric. My brother in Australia is an engineer and is frustrated because like a lot of engineers, he knows that with modern technology there is a lot of easier ways, to generate electricity. The technology is there, but is being blocked by vested interests. The politicians mostly hear what is told to them by the oil and coal industry, they know so little about the newer technologies that could be used.
Modern technology is not being used to help the people, it is only being used to make a lot of money for a few people. (The drug and chemical industries are examples of this). This is the normal patriarchal way of behaving. Like the dominant stag who will not share his harem with other male stags. Matriarchy will not see it like this. Put women into power and they will want to use technology for the good of the whole and not for the few.
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- AUTHOR
Well it is fact that many tribal people are lured away by what the modern world offers but that is another part of the problem. The problem is that western consumerist culture needs unsustainable produce so it takes from tribal lands and persecutes and destroys the people who were there and the land too with deforestation and mining etc. What is needed is for the invasion of these places to stop but the question then is where do we get all the stuff people want from? Consumerist society functions by selling stuff including cash crops, precious metals and is powered and fueled by electricity and oil/petrol. Beef farming is also done on what was tribal land as is the cultivation of genetically engineered crops like soya. The current system/Western culture can get these things it wants by taking the land of tribal people. How would a matriachal system supply the needs of the masses?
The area I know more about is in Australia and New Guinea. In New Guinea the native people were practising head hunting and cannibalism. They also had tribal wars as a form of 'sport'. The Australian aborigine were very badly treated by white settlers, many tribes were completely wiped out. Yet today, when the white Australians try to help and respect the aborigines, it is their male 'leaders', who are the problem. Some of them have been arrested for rape and sex with the female children of their tribes. And most of them seem to be more interested in personal gain, than helping their tribe. They have shown themselves to be just as devious and corrupt as white politicians.
What I have found is that there are no 'goodies and baddies' in patriarchal politics. Whether you are talking about stone age tribes or modern countries. All you can say, is some are worse than others. The only solution to all this, as far as I can see, is matriarchy.
- AUTHOR
I hadn't heard of that but Western culture soldiers are taught to do far worse! The men of tribes have many crazy customs and rituals in many parts of the world including taking dangerous poisonous plants as an ordeal and initiation. The point I am making is that all, and I will use all, tribal people that are not subjected to our culture and being made 'civilised' are a lot happier than people in general from this society. My friend Andre Anglin is over in the Philippines and he says this of the tribal people. I asked this question years back when all this interest in The Secret began: how did the American Indians and countless tribal people who have been invaded, killed and seen their lands destroyed and taken attract all this? I can't see that they did, but rather that the white man's patriarchal empire building dominator and war-making cultures invaded them and brought disease, deceit, religion, alcoholism, and death! They are still doing this!
You say that the indigenous people living in the Amazon are peaceful people. It depends a lot on the tribe you are talking about. There are tribes in the Amazon forest where to be a 'man' a teenage boy has to kill another man in a neighbouring tribe. Because people live close to nature it doesn't mean they cannot think negative thoughts. Negative thinking seems to be 'normal' wherever you go in the world.
- AUTHOR
OK, William, but here is a question for you: As I see it many areas of the world including the Amazon right now are being destroyed by Western industrial 'civilisation' with mining, deforestation, road building, cash cropping and dam building. Now admittedly many of the billions of city-dwelling people worldwide have a lot of negative thoughts but the indigenous people of tribes that live in the Amazon and elsewhere don't so why are their lives, environment and ways of living being destroyed to the point that peaceful people are now saying they will fight to the death? How did these people who were living happily in balance with Mother Earth attract this insanity and nightmare?
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Just getting back to you, Bard, (8 months later). I do personally believe in the law of attraction, and that we do create our own reality. So if that is the case why am I not rich and wealthy? I have also been practising self-awareness and what I have found is that the majority of my habitual thoughts are very negative. (Habitual thoughts and beliefs are the same thing). So it is not surprising I am not as successful as I want to be, because my habitual thoughts are blocking me all the time.
This then means I am having to question all the habitual thoughts I have and try and replace them with more positive habitual thoughts. It is so easy to blame our problems onto fate or onto others, and I admit I still do this. (This is one of my habitual thoughts). But in the end we are captains of our own destiny, and the sooner we can take responsibility for what we choose to think and what happens to us, the sooner we can change our lives for the better.
- AUTHOR
So you think that Crowley and Tesla both created the horrible latter parts of their lives? I suppose seeing as they were both trained at visualising and getting results they would both get very negative results too if they visualised these things but why would they do that? Crowley had spent most of his life making a name for himself and being a leader in his field (the occult) and Tesla wanted to see his inventions used as he thought they should be (to benefit humanity). Why would these men ever desire ending their lives alone and in poverty?
The human mind is very complex, and it is so easy to focus on things we don't want and end up manifesting it. I think the trouble is that humans seem to be attracted to drama. Which is all right, if we just read it in books or see it on films, but when we create dramas in our own mind, for our own entertainment, we are in danger of creating it in reality.
So although Nikola Tesla and Aleister Crowley may have been very good at visualising, they may of created dramas in their own mind, either through fear or they found these dramas entertaining, so they created a reality they didn't want.
I done something similar in my own life, I fell in love with a woman, as a young man, but then things started to go wrong. I got upset and worried about us breaking up and I now realise that my own fears and worries were making things worse. The result was I got in a vicious cycle where everything went wrong and we broke up. Looking back now I realise, I was probably manifesting my own fears. I was thinking more about what I didn't want rather than what i wanted to happen and so I end creating in my reality, exacty what I didn't want to happen.
- AUTHOR
I remember reading a David Icke bulletin in which he was suggesting that some souls have already "signed up" to experience certain hardships such as lack of money and it doesn't matter what they do they will not be able to alter what is in store for them. I don't agree with Icke on many counts but this made sense to me based on my own experience. Also if wealth can be something you manifest why did Nikola Tesla and Aleister Crowley who were both noted for their powers of visualisation, end up dying in poverty?
Bard, as you know I'm also not as successful in my life as I want to be, so I am trying to deal with similar problems.
I personally believe that 'it is all in the mind', but all of us are different, and perhaps what works for one person may not work for another, because of our differences.
- AUTHOR
William, I am bound to have negative thinking when I am short of money. I have just written an entire hub on the subject. Even when I think I can count on income it gets messed up by other people like employers that don't pay on time (current situation on two counts). I find I have to be constantly waiting about which is stressful and chasing my earnings. Give me an upfront contracted proper job any day! A point I would like to stress is that in my experience with relationships and making money I have not had any negative thoughts but still all has gone wrong. Examples being: I have been in a relationship and happy and then suddenly dumped, and been promised money for work so expecting to have it and planning accordingly only to find it doesn't get paid. In both cases it is not what is in my thoughts be they positive or negative but is what someone else has decided to do (their thoughts).
I personally believe in the law of attraction. I think the problem with it, is that it works not on part of what we think but on everything we think. So even though we can think positive thoughts we can still be sabotaged by habitual negative thoughts we don't question as they have become 'normal' for us.
Anyway Bard you have had some success in your career, more than a lot of people who have had wanted to be a singer song writer. It seems to me where you have failed is making money and perhaps that is the area where you have most of your habitual negative thinking.
- AUTHOR
You don't get much in secondhand shops but whatever it was it was worth having!
It's always good for people to recognise your talent! And a bonus when you could sell the singles to make money!
- AUTHOR
Thanks, Cindyvine! BTW I once won a contest judged on who could do the best Mick Jagger impression on stage. The prize was a strange one - a box of Lyndsey de Paul singles (all the same ones) and I think I sold them to secondhand record shop but it was nice winning! lol
Bard of Ely, you've achieved so much! So you never got to be Mick Jagger, but you had many great experiences!~
- AUTHOR
Hi James! you may not have had any success with your plan but you've just gained a new fan! Thanks for posting!
I thought for sure I was headed for the big time with my book "How to grow your own coca plants" but I couldn't get anyone to advertise the book—not even High Times would touch it. Foiled again!
- AUTHOR
Thank you, Lou!
And Amanda, I am very glad to hear it!
Well actually your article about the band Cake and the story about the cake you were given which I also read when you first put it up, reminded me I had been working on design involving cake. So it propted me to go back to it and finish it off and put it up on Cafepress on a range of different products. It's called "Peace, Love, Cake". This is the button badge version.
http://www.cafepress.com/peace_love_cake.208537472
Actually I have managed to sell one or two items with this design on so I might be able to afford a cake with the royalties. Looks like you started a trend :)
Steve, I think that you have led an amazing life thus far, and consider it to be a sucessful one at that. So you haven't made it to the giddy heights of the glossy magazines yet, or appeared on MTV, nor present a hip tv/radio programme, but you have touched the lives of many many people with your creative talent and dogged perserverence. In my book, thats success! Here's to your future and may you be granted your wish of recognition for your fantastic work!!
- AUTHOR
I know you are right, Marisue, so thank you!
success is a journey, bard, and you have and are having a great one of those...one to admire and envy. The "jewel" is the journey. Write that book and it would sell a million. I'll buy! A journey is all any of us have. to enjoy it, and tell it, and continue the journey....That is success!! keep writing and singing.
- AUTHOR
Good idea, Amanda, but doubt if I'll get round to it struggling as I am already with projects and work! It could have a pic of the cake and the slogan - The Secret works - it let me eat cake! lol
That's a good story about the cake. Actually there might be a good T-shirt slogan there. Well it might be a way of capitalising on the Law of Attraction and multiplying the returns. Well there's the whole "all I got was this lousy T-shirt" genre. Which suggests there's a huge market for disappointment and cynicism lol Every cloud as a silver lining as they say :)Actually I have sold a few "Million Dollars in Debt" T-shirts. Well I looked on the Internet and saw a few "Million Dollar" T-shirts and thought there's probably not much of a market there. Whereas debt is so popular they even advertise it on the evening News and seems to be a growth market at the moment. So might as well capitalise on it :)Actually Zazzle.com is good site for putting text slogans on T-shirts and putting them up for sale. without needing a lot of specialised graphics software.
- AUTHOR
Hi Amanda! Thanks for your comments!
All the LOA has ever got me is a cake! lol
Here's the story:
Intresting story. Yes I can relate to that I've had one or two fairly big breaks that never really got off the ground. lol Selling your book on Lulu.com is a good idea. Actually I think it's possible to do well on POD sites. The only drawback though is I think one needs a lot of products.
Interesting you mention law of attraction. I was thinking the other day if the Law of attraction worked as the "Secret" claims surely there would be no such thing as disappointment. Saying that I think positive thinking certainly helps because it pushes you to invest more effort into things and drives one on. Wherase negativity and depression saps one's creative energies. So Positive thinking is certainly more productive.
- AUTHOR
Thanks, Jeff! It's good to see you over here! It would have been if I'd kept going! lol
Great article! I didn't think it was too long.
- AUTHOR
Thank you, Jerry! There will be many more to come!
Wow, Bard, I have to say every time a new e-mail from HubPages shows up saying the Bard of Ely has published a new hub, I'm always excited and never disapointed, but this is one of your finest I've read to date. Thanks for sharing, and kudos for truly living, and not just existing.
- AUTHOR
Thank you for your posts, Madellen, Pam and Aya!
There was a lot of stuff I left out because it was getting too long! I am certainly turning out a lot of collectable items! lol
Aya, I am to a degree using this place as a showcase for what I've done and do!
Bard of Ely, you've had a lot of interesting experiences. Don't give up. It surely is all about marketing, but maybe hubpages could be a vehicle. Next time you have a product to sell, sell it on eBay or Amazon, and then publicize for free on the web. It could come out differently.
Wow, what a life you've led! You know, the irony is that there are almost certainly thousands of cube slaves locked away at corporations who would envy every drop of the success you haven't had, or think you haven't had, and yet they still can't bring themselves to so much as unbutton their top buttons or not cross a 't'.
My grandmother was a painter who lived on the west coast of the US in Oregon. She always said you couldn't have money and art at the same time. If you took the money, your art would suffer for it, and if you followed your art, you wouldn't have money.
Personally I think you made the wise choice. If you never make a dime you will die a rich man in my book. I will certainly buy your shamanic herbal when its ready at Lulu! I'll be watching for it. Great hub as usual Steve. Thanks!
I question the 'law of attraction' as well; law of marketing maybe, law of spin... as in "The manufacturing of consent/content" by Noam Chomsky. It requires neither rare talent, decency nor intelligence to produce wealth. Oh well, if only I was Forest Gump.
M
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