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Nonsensical Ramblings Unleashed-Part two

Updated on November 8, 2009


Nonsensical Ramblings Unleashed...Part II

I always ate my spinach
my broccolli, my brussel sprouts
I choked down stuff I hated as a kid
but I never grew up big and strong
cause I'm just over 5'10"
and I can only bench press 180
that's not the tall,muscular.....Mr. Atlas
my mom promised me!
Mom always told me
to put on clean underwear too
before I went out into public
in case I got hurt
that way I would look respectable
when they checked me over at the hospital
I spent a fortune on BVD's
and bleaching compounds
so what happened the first time I got hurt
I got shot, and I was so scared
I crapped in my pants
which is a fairly common side effect
for most people undergoing trauma
in fact, when you die
your bowels automatically loosen
so much for clean underwear, Mom!!
Mom also told me not to
play with myself either
because I'd go blind
and grow hair on my palms
so I didn't take any chances
I mastered Braille at the tender age of nine
and discovered the softening effects
of Hair removal creme
Talk about getting bald at an early age
Ahhh, but Mom also told me
that if I ever needed her
she would always be there for me
even if she had to come back, and haunt me
too bad it's the one promise
she failed to keep
Mom's been dead for over four years now
and I really need her back
but there has not been so much as a "BOO!"
ahh, but I love you Mom.




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