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Only A Hunter Would

Updated on November 20, 2012

You've got to be kidding...

I'm not saying you can't milk a deer ...but I wouldn't advise it!

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You've gotta' be kidding! Is that an actual product? I mean, who would actually go out and spend real money on 'deer urine'?!!

Now let me clear up a matter regarding our current topic of conversation. When I say 'urine' I'm not talking about the opposite of, "You're out!" Like when a baseball player slides into second base and gets tagged and the umpire hollers, "You're out!" Have you noticed when they slide into base and they're safe, the ump never hollers, "You're in!" which would sound a bit too much like our current topic of conversation.

Would someone in their right mind pay money for a bottle of deer urine? Who else but a hunter? Think about it. Hunter's are prone to spending lavish sums of money for eccentric items, like tree-stands, electric socks, and camouflage clothing. So it should come to no surprise that only a hunter would spend money for 'deer urine'! But then they're a peculiar sort. What other segment of the population would climb out of a warm bed on a cold morning to climb up a tree stand wearing camouflage and not be in danger of being committed to an institution for their own good? This is probably why the law requires them to get a license, dress like trees, and wear bright orange in public.

...which brings me to the question, How do they even get deer urine? The first thought that came to my mind was a disturbing mental picture that involved a deer and a milk stool. I'm not saying you can't milk a deer ...but I wouldn't recommend it!

So they buy deer urine and then rub it on themselves to attract other deer. Personally, that's just going a little too far to get 'back to nature' for me! It would seem to me to be a big turn-off to any prospective female deer that happens to be hunting for a prospective mate ...but apparently not so for their species! I guess it's like Channel No. 5 for female deer? As gross as that sounds, guys, you have to think how much money we'd save on anniversaries. If it were just that simple!

Just in case you happen to be a desperate male of the human species and this thought just crossed your mind, I wouldn't recommend smearing urine all over yourself in an attempt to improve your dating life either! And if that qualified as a valid dating tip for you, you're probably beyond help!

It Looks like...

Fortunately this product doesn't come in convenient 12-ounce sized aluminum cans. and for obvious reasons. because it may too closely resemble a certain beverage consumed by avid sports enthusiasts of the couch variety. --those hard-core sportsmen who never actually play 'sports'. Why not the same convenient cannister? Because by the time they've consumed one too many beverages they might accidentally reach for the wrong can and... well, there you have it!

Immediate & irreversible disaster! I have no idea how they'd get that taste out of their mouth?

Hopefully they would still be sober enough to recognize the difference!

by Jim Henderson "JimAgain'

October 01, 2010

So just how do they get 'deer urine'?!!

It was a disturbing mental picture but it popped in my head before I could stop it. Can you 'milk a deer'?!!


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