Oops! Embarrassing Moments

Recently I joined the Wellness Center, a great place where people over 50 can go to exercise, socialize and learn new skills. I decided to join the Aqua Zumba class, which is something like water aerobics. The class was great and a good work out. Most of the women were older than me but did a great job keeping up with the instructor.

When we finished the class and returned to the locker room, the women all started coming out of their wet swimsuits. Soon I was in a room of naked, older, some overweight women. Unless I looked at the ceiling or the floor, I was looking at something I didn't want to see. I wasn't prepared to strip down in front of these strangers! Oh dear, what do I do?

Aha! I saw a rattan screen on one side of the locker room! Someone must have placed it there for ladies like me who are on the shy side when it comes to getting naked with complete strangers. I quickly ran behind the screen, and took off my wet swimsuit. Right about then, I realized that there was a door behind me. The screen was there not to provide privacy, but to block the view, should anyone come through that door! I was on the wrong side of the screen! I prayed that no one would come through that door, at least not until I got my clothes on. I have never gotten dressed so quickly in my life!

No wonder the other women were looking at me funny, probably thinking "she thinks she's so smart, wait til someone comes through that door!"

A few years ago while still living in Venezuela, I went grocery shopping to our local supermarket. I was in a little bit of a hurry, so I headed down the isles putting things in my cart as fast as I could. Milk, coffee, sugar, and on down my list. Without really thinking about it I had the sense that I had sand in my sandals. I shook my feet and kept going. Jello, green beans, bread and jam. Wow, more sand in my shoes! Shake shake shake! Why don't they keep this store cleaner?!? On I went, putting the last few items in my cart and heading to the check out. More sand in my sandals! Man! What's with this store with all the dirt and sand? Then I started putting my items on the checkout belt. When I lifted the bag of sugar, I realized it had a nice hole in it and I had left a trail of sugar all through the store!

Also in Venezuela, I liked to go to the open air market to get fresh vegetables, fruit, eggs, and cheese. The market was always crowded, and I had to park my car about 2 blocks away, up a street on a slight incline. I went from stall to stall, buying potatoes, bananas, tomatoes, green beans, cheese, and finally a large flat of eggs. I saved the eggs for last so I would already have the other items purchased in bags that I hung on both arms, freeing my hands to hold the flat of eggs. I wanted to be careful with those eggs! I started the walk back up the hill toward the car, being careful to balance everything. The bags were heavy so it was quite a feat. As I left the market area, I was mildly aware of something wet on my stomach area. It was hot so I figured it was sweat. I continued balancing everything as I walked toward the car, being extra careful with the eggs. Soon I realized that my legs were also wet. First my thighs, and then my calves. "What is going on?" I asked myself. I couldn't stop because there was nowhere to set down my purchases. By the time I got to the car, my shoes were wet and slimy.

Whew! I made it to the car! I gently sat the flat of eggs on the hood of the car, to free my hands and find my car keys. Then I saw it: I had crushed the first two rows of eggs against my chest, and the wet slime that I had felt was raw eggs, running down my legs and into my shoes.

I looked around...I hope no one saw me...