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Paco JB Rasta Adventure - Part 1

Updated on December 4, 2011

Sun Jan 11, 2004 8:33 pm

Hey Paco... I think we can track down where Roosta lives. If we leave now we can make it to his home tomorrow, bury his body somewhere and be back to work by Tuesday. We can call in sick for tomorrow. Or maybe we could just tar and chicken feather him if we don't want to do time for murder?

-internet psychotic and bitter Packer fan!


Sun Jan 11, 2004 8:43 pm

[From Paco]

Maybe just a light beating.

I'll get the chicken feathers and tar. Meet me at my place in 15
minutes. We'll show that Roosta how tough Cheeseheads can be!!!

Happy Rasta

Mon Jan 12, 2004 9:52 am

Paco and I are in a quaint internet coffee house in Philly. Instead of donuts though - they sell cheesesteaks to go with your coffee. Not so bad when you dunk it into your coffee. The coffee itself is sorta rancid. We are having a hard time locating Rasta/Roosta/Hexagram. I guess I should've known they weren't his real names. We did find two Spencer James's though so we decided to just tar one and throw feathers at the other. We realize that Spencer James is not Spencer's real name but he also doesn't live in Philly so it all works out. We also bought a rubber chicken to smack over both of the Philly Spencer James's heads, Monty Python style!

Mon Jan 12, 2004 2:01 pm

So… Paco and I stopped here at Bain Bridge Bookstore on 3318 Bainbridge Street hoping to find Happy Rasta so we could at the very least wish he and his Eagles good luck and to strike him over the head with the rubber chicken. We are a bit nervous that one of the Spencer James's has called the police, especially the one we tarred. Not too hard to link us to the crime considering we both got some tar on us. And we should've feathered first because I can't get a few of these damn chicken feathers off me. They are all stuck to the tar. Luckily it is just on my arms in places. Paco has some on his neck. The rubber chicken has a bit on it as well.

The guy behind the counter was kind enough to let us use his terminal as they don't seem to give public access to the Internet here. I asked him if he was Rasta since his eyes were pretty red and he seemed a bit suspicious to me - but he said he didn't know what we were talking about and he was a vegetarian and didn't even like chickens. Doesn't like chickens?!?!! What a weirdo.

Mon Jan 12, 2004 4:53 pm

Here we are way south of Philly having some beers in some bar with internet access. We've brought along John Street because we found him drinking out of a bag at the top of those stairs Rocky climbed in the movie over by the museum. He said he can't take the pressure of all the riots and stuff from the Eagles victories. I guess in Philly they get a bit out of hand win or lose after the games. Poor John Street. He seems pretty cool but he is pretty drunk and he never buys. He doesn't know jack about chickens. He sure does go on and on though about how hard he's had it as a kid. Geez, get over it - so big deal ya had no electricity - well neither did Oprah and look how she turned out. Worse yet he's a Temple fan in denial. Keeps yacking about Bill Cosby and when they beat Duke like a zillion years ago. They'll be lucky to make the tournament this year. Man he can go on.

Anyway, I thought we should get back to Wisconsin but Paco wasn't ready and after we met Street we decided to take a run down the coast all the way to the Chicken Capital, also known as Key West. Street has a credit card with a $100,000 limit and said he'd pay for room and board but still wont buy us beer on principle. I think they kicked him out of the cheapskate club or something.

So a few more and I think we will hole up somewhere nearby... wherever we are. Street says were actually in Maryland now, Princess Anne. All I know is we are on Hwy 13 and heading south and then over to 95. Oh, fer chrissake now Street is starting something with a Maryland fan. What a yacker and complainer this guy is. Paco looks like he could use a hand.

Will check in tomorrow!

Princess Anne Econolodge

Mon Jan 12, 2004 10:35 pm

Well, what a day!!! We were too drunk to continue our drive south to Key West and ended up staying at the Econolodge in Princess Anne, Maryland. I normally wouldn't even use the webtv at the hotel but since ole cheap pants John Street is footing the bill I don't much care. We had to get this guy out of one bit of trouble after another all freaking night long. He didn't want to stay with Paco and I so he has his own room right next to us. He's got some women in there too and I think they are paid for hire. I don't think the guy is right in the head. He's pretending he's the mayor of Philadelphia instead of a government worker or something. Trying to impress the hookers I guess. As long as he has cash I guess it doesn't matter much to them. He could say he was the President for all they care!

When we found him he was going on and on about the trouble the Eagles were bringing to the city and the mess and the fans getting out of hand... yadda yadda. Figured cause he was one of the workers who had to clean it up. Who knows? You couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Plus me and Paco didn't bring a lot of cash and one thing just led to another and here we are using his plastic and sleeping at the lovely Econolodge in Princess Anne. Kind of a historic town by the sound of it although we didn't get much past Murphy's Pub. Damn bars around here seem to close at 10pm, at least Murhpy's did. Good eating there too, especially with Street charging it! Not that we needed more to drink. Paco is already out and making some pretty loud snoring noises which is fine by me since I'm quite the snorer.

But I can hear that ole John Street next door with his "lady" friends. I'm staying clear of him. I was crying to Paco this Key West idea wasn't good but it seems we are on a journey so I guess we'll take it a bit farther. Hwy 13 south looks pretty cool and I expect we'll have to take a ferry or there is one hell of a bridge that leads into Virginia Beach because the map I have shows a lot of ocean from the end of this peninsula to Virginia Beach. I guess we are right by Chesapeake Bay. Haven't seen the ocean yet though.

I called home awhile ago and my wife is not very pleased at all. Not good. I guess she doesn't understand that sometimes a man has got to do what a man has got to do. It all does seem like a pretty bad idea right now... even in my state of intoxicated confusion. Oh well, I think I'm going to join Paco and pass out. Will try to update ya all on our whereabouts tomorrow when we find another internet portal!!!


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