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Pump That Thing Up At Home.

Updated on March 15, 2011

Pump That Thing Up At Home.



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So here's how

I almost got put

on a sexual predators list;

I was sitting in my car,
in a local school parking lot,
ten minutes early to a game
that I was in charge of,
when I decided to put some

air into a volleyball that
was a bit limp.

I took out the hand pump,
and wedged the volleyball
between my legs,
wet the needle with spit,
and inserted it into the ball.

I then began
vigourously pumping
the handle up and down,
just below my car window.

Two ladies tugging children
behind them happened
to be strolling past
my parking space,
their passing caught my eye,
But the look of shock ,
and repulsion that I found
in their own eyes
left me confused.

Quite suddenly
I realized that they
couldn't see the ball,
I was filling
with my hand.

All they saw was
my shoulder and arm
going up and down vertically
between my legs in a
much more provocative motion,
then any ordinary sports
equipment maintainence.

Reacting quickly, I held up
the incriminating volleyball,
with its pump impaled,
which caused their faces
to immediately relax and
fill with relief as they walked on by.

Saving me a visit perhaps
from the local police,
bearing accusations
that might have truly ended
my weekly volleyball
fun filled recreational job.


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    • billyaustindillon profile image

      billyaustindillon 7 years ago

      I can just imagine how this must of looked - that volleyball would have calmed a few people. Where you talking to it too - like Wilson from Castaway? :)