Questions That Keep Me Awake At Night
How Come Broccoli Doesn't Taste Like Watermelon?
I am sure there is a scientific reason why broccoli doesn't taste like watermelon however, I am not interested in a scientific answer. No, this is a question along the lines of "God why didn't you make this very nutritious and healthy vegetable like a tasty fruit?" I suspect it has something to do with trying to make kids eat their vegetables as a way to improve your prayer life.
Why Are Dads Always The First Suspect In Family Flatulence?
You know the scenario. A stealthy entity with more hang time than Blake Griffin and making Casper less than friendly, overtakes the room and is followed by shrieks of "dad...honey!" How come dad is the first suspect? Oh sure, dads are notorious for the old pull my finger trick. Never mind, I think I just answered my own question and it's probably a good thing broccoli doesn't taste like watermelon.
Has Susan Powter Stopped The Insanity Yet?
Remember those infomercials from years ago when Susan Powter screamed stop the insanity? Since she's disappeared from the TV screen I have always wondered if she ever did stop the insanity. She must have because, this guy Shaun T from Beachbody is trying to bring insanity back. Stop the insanity. Start the insanity. I wish these fitness gurus would make up their minds.
Why Aren't The Toronto Maple Leafs Called The Toronto Maple Leaves?
I'm pretty sure that the plural of leaf is leaves so why doesn't the Toronto hockey club change their name to the Toronto Maple Leaves? Simple, professional sports is all about money and no prudent owner is going to spend the dough to make the necessary changes. Owners just don't care about grammar!
Cast Your Vote!
Should the Maple Leafs Become The Maple Leaves?
Who Was Casper The Friendly Ghost Before He Died?
If you know anything about ghosts then, you are quite aware that they are supposedly apparitions of people who die in a previous life and come back to haunt you in the present. So, who was this Casper before he died and why is he so friendly in the afterlife? The only logical answer is that he was a perky Walmart greeter named Casper. You have to admit that It's pretty tough to scare people with "hi, welcome to Walmart or have a nice day."
Why Wasn't The Maytag Repairman Fired?
Remember that commercial about the Maytag repairman who never did any work and constantly complained about how lonely he was? Why didn't they fire that guy? Instead, they hired an apprentice repairman and the two of them did nothing together. No wonder the company went bankrupt.