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The Old Pilot and the Lesbian - Redneck Tale # 17

Updated on August 11, 2012
Photo - A hot one at Starbucks
Photo - A hot one at Starbucks

Filipo Penderson Scores With This One

A friend of mine; that is, an "old Air Force friend of mine," sent a funny story to me today. I don’t know where he got the tale – it’s one of those things that make the rounds on the Internet – but it pulled a chuckle out of me. Perhaps you will enjoy it a wee bit, too. To keep the Hubpages folks undisturbed with my purloining someone else’s stories, I have changed it around such that it is not outright plagiarism. Nonetheless, I confess. I stole it.

Even so, Filipo, send more!!!

Photo - One of those little Air Force jets
Photo - One of those little Air Force jets

And What Are You?

Filipo Penderson, Air Force ace pilot and flight instructor of some fame among his contemporaries, most of whom were now like Filipo, right around the age of 80 or so, limped into the neighborhood coffee shop as he did every morning.

As he sat at his table, sipping on his cup of hot Starbucks, in came a good looking gal who sat down next to him. She looked at the Air Force pin he always wore over his left breast pocket and spoke. "Hey, that’s a beautiful pin. Are you a pilot?"

He answered, "Well, you are kinda beautiful, too, and, yes, I’m a pilot all right. I started flying with a Piper Cub when I was still a kid. Then came an Aeronca, and next there was an old Stearman. Near the end of World War II I flew B-17s, and when Vietnam came along, I was into B-52s. When my time was up in Vietnam I came back to the ZI and taught lots of new pilots how to get off of the ground and stay in the air. After I retired from the Air Force I went with American Airlines until I hit 65. Now I do a little cloud-busting on weekends just for fun."

"Yes, I suppose I am a real pilot. And… what are you?"

Said the pretty lady; "I’m a lesbian. All day long I think about beautiful women – when I get up in the morning until I hit the sack at night. I think about ‘em when I shower, when I eat meals, when I watch TV. Whatever I do, it makes me think about them."

Photo - "In my old age at that - This old flyboy is still learning about myself!"
Photo - "In my old age at that - This old flyboy is still learning about myself!"

But I Just Now Found Out...

There they sat, neither one of them speaking any more. The old pilot kind of rolled his eyes and wrinkled his nose; all with a puzzled look overall on his well-lined face.

In walked a young man. He picked up some Starbucks from the counter and sat down next to the old fellow on the other side. Seeing that Air Force pin on Penderson’s jacket, the young man asked him, "Air Force, huh? Are you a pilot?"

"Well, I was pretty sure that I was, son, but I just now found out that I’m really a lesbian."


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