Redneck Pickup Truck Survival Kit

If you are like me, you simply must admit the mere mention of a redneck pick up truck survival kit, congers up more than a few vivid images. Your minds eye just jumps to the last time you were hung up in one of those dag nab bit lob lollies, or for you city folks, a damn big mud hole. One of the first things we ask ourselves depends on exactly what in the Sam hill we were doing in the first place. Looking for a new fishing spot while turkey hunting in spring, or maybe a bit of late season deer and waterfowl hunting with old man winters grip-making things just a bit more interesting. The one thing any of these type situations have in common, we are stuck; our trusty ole pick up truck has run a ground. The new fangled smart phone, is not so smart when it has no signal, CB radios went out of style in the eighties, and blowing a whistle brings in a damned ole stray mutt. Now I bet you wish you had a redneck pick up truck survival kit.

Redneck etiquette

Who is in charge, for going any complications, such as stupidity or the driver’s competency called into question due to his or her state of drunkenness, the good ole boy or gal, driving, certainly has the responsibility of getting their pick up truck and fellow redneck passengers unstuck.

That is not to say, the good ole boys and gals are merely along for the ride, that quite simply is not the redneck way. Every able-bodied redneck will participate enthusiastically in the fun. The crazier a hair-brained idea the driver can come up with the better. When he or she thinks this is the best way to get unstuck its all hands on deck, and let’s get this puppy out of these GD ruts. Regardless how fool hardy it may seam. Digging mud, snow, ice or what ever is under the skid plate, hog head (rear differential for you city folks), or under the bumper. Pushing or pulling the truck out of the ruts, or ditch is just fine. The main objective here is to be self reliant get unstuck and have a good time doing it, after all, that is the redneck way.

A redneck can survive

The three things a true redneck holds most dear, shotgun, rifle, and his or her four-wheel drive pick up truck. Not necessarily in that order but I think, you smell what is cookin. What the best shotgun or rifle is, well let us save that topic for another discussion. As for a rednecks pick up truck there are basically two categories, pretty keep em on the street trucks, and hardworking road hard and put up wet on several occasions, good ole beaters. Both trucks have their place but a true redneck well let me just quote ole Hank, a country boy can survive. This brings us to what different items are required for a Redneck pick up truck survival kit

Pretty and shiny or beater pick up truck

Ford, Chevy, or Dodge full size pick up trucks, Toyota and Nissan small pick up trucks, what do they all have in common? They have a great little feature, the pick up bed and tailgate to haul all our important stuff. Some will haul a ton of sand, firewood, and motorcycle or ATV. Others can only manage smaller loads, the cooler, lunch box, and redneck survival kit in a lockable weatherproof storage box, toolbox if you will.

Items required for the redneck pick up survival kit

● Heavy-duty flashlight spare bulb and extra batteries, having two flashlights is always a good idea, keep one in the cab of your pick up and a second one in the survival kit toolbox.

● Heavy-duty nylon tow strap, I prefer the ones with the big loops on each end, rather than the type with the metal hooks. It has been my experience, the metal slip hooks have a bad habit of not staying where you hook them. This is a pain in the behind when trying to give a fellow redneck a good yank.

● Heavy-duty jumper cables, or booster cables if you rather, that have cables at least twenty feet long and a good set of color coded clamps on each end, red to red and black to black. Good pair of heavy leather or rubber work gloves help insolate you and prevent a good electrical shock.

● Small camp shovel, the folding handle military surplus style works well and is my favorite, they are compact and extremely durable making them useful for digging your way out of a ditch, chopping small trees and bushes or scraping mud rock and sand from the bed liner, (not painted surfaces or windshield). You can find them online or at any good sporting goods shop or military surplus store.

● Heavy-duty duct tape is a survival kit must have, make temporary repairs to broken or damaged plastic bumpers, spoilers and ground effects, not to mention countless other field expedient repairs, like taping a heavy duty trash bag over a broken or stuck open window, sealing out wind, rain and snow.

● Fire extinguisher that is good for fuels, plastics, and rubber fires, you are looking for something that is UL Rated 1-A, 10-B:C. which is a multi purpose fire extinguisher that is good around the home, pick up truck and garage.

● First aid kit, you really should be prepared for any type fire or chemical burns, serious cuts and lacerations, have a good solution for flushing foreign objects out of someone’s eyes, keep a bottle of aspirin, Tylenol, or Advil. A bottle of hydrogen peroxide, Neosporin, Benadryl, and take a Red Cross first aid class and get CPR trained, the life you save will be someone you love.

● Emergency blanket and heavy-duty trash bags work well as a ground cloth, shelter or rain jacket / poncho. No body likes to get wet or freezing cold.

● Road flairs, emergency reflective markers, and a battery operated strobe or flashing hazard / warning light make it easier for someone to see you in the dark, fog or snowstorm.

● Drinking water, fresh water is a great thing to have on hand, keeping a case of bottled water in your redneck survival kit. Fresh water will not only keep you and your fellow rednecks hydrated. You can use it to clean mud off the windshield. Refill a leaking radiator, and wash the mud off your hands or cut. Remember to clean and protect any serious cuts and lacerations.

● Winch,I know for some of us, a heavy-duty winch like a Warn, Ramsey, or Superwinch is out of our price range, but they are cheep when you compare their cost, to $3,500 or more, to fix the transmission you tore up while trying to rock back and forth to get unstuck.

Hey, if you are a real redneck, and want to save money, keep at least a 3/8 X 20 feet of chain with grab hooks on each end in your survival kit truck toolbox, and a 4-ton heavy-duty come along you can use to pull your self out of the mud.

You need not be a country boy or woman to be a redneck

Ask your self this simple little question, are you self reliant, frugal, and have a take no shit from anyone attitude? Then my friend, you just might be a redneck. It is with that spirit of living and loving life, putting together your own redneck pick up truck survival kit will make your next pick up truck adventure one hell of a ride, be prepared and enjoy the ride.

The author of this publication, Mike Teddleton owns the copyright to Redneck Pickup Truck Survival Kit. The rights to publish this article in print or online can only be granted by contacting me the author in writing. You may use the intro and link back to the article directing the reader back to my post here at HubPages where they may find the story in its entirety