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Review Of EP By Candybar Planet

Updated on January 13, 2017

From the 1990s onward, there seems to be this particular scenario, which plays itself out all across America time and again, that goes something like this: there is a group of people at a party, either in their 30s or their 40s, lamenting what they feel is the sad state of current music. After discussing the situation for a time, they resign themselves to the fact that the modern iterations of Rock that they hear will never rival what they enjoyed from the days of yore, and, as a result, their attempts at making merry at this party go as flat as a stale beer.

Sadly, these fans are unduly crestfallen for just a cursory search on the internet would reveal an amazing slough of bands of recent vintage more than able to supply new anthems for those, who yearn for the Rock of the AOR Era. One such band is the Dutch group Candybar Planet.

Though only a mere five-song EP, the quality of Candybar Planet's music does not disappoint, especially if one needs a soundtrack for one's partying. This is evident on the first track Five, which has all the heaviness but none of the gloominess of its “Stoner Rock” peers. This would be a perfect song to have in the background during pagan frenzies of beer-guzzling and rabid twerking.

Then there is the neurotic energy of Billy (I'm Gonna Get That Woman). Like Kyuss before it, Candybar Planet knows how to write a propulsive riff without resorting to a flurry of palm-muted sixty-fourth notes. This would be a good song to play in the background at a party, where they are trying to combine the limbo with moshing.

The third track WFO gives one what sounds like an Areosmith riff supercharged on Walter White's meth. A real barn-burner, this would definitely enliven any lifeless party, prompting twerking so violent, it may cause one's body to fly apart in several different directions.

Exposed starts off with shimmering psychedelic chords and then launches into a massively heavy shuffle. Obviously influenced by Desert Rock, the band's riffs, though massive, are sugary enough to give one diabetes, and it is precisely this merger of heaviness and melody that should have made this band huge.

The final track Sun Screamer has the honor of being the heaviest song on the EP, its cyclopean riff making one's ears feel like they were just pimp-slapped by the fluke of Moby Dick.

In sum, the EP by Candybar Planet is more damning evidence that Rock is neither dear nor in need of saving. It DOES, however, need support, and supporting Candybar Planet is as good a place to start as any.

Now keep calm and buy vinyl.






Sun Screamer By Candybar Planet

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