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Some Couple Reviews Twilight: Breaking Dawn

Updated on November 22, 2011
Some couples just have it all, a luxury wedding, private island honeymoons, and parasitic demon spawn.
Some couples just have it all, a luxury wedding, private island honeymoons, and parasitic demon spawn.

Glenn: It's been two months but SCR finally lined up a sitter and made it out to the movie theater to see a new release ... and it's freaking The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I (groan).

Kik: Oh get over it. My turn to pick, and there was no way we were going to miss Breaking Dawn! I loved it, laughing at some parts, crying at others, and elbowing you occasionally for snickering at the screen.

Glenn: Just to warn you, I'm strongly tempted to drag you to a Kung-Fu movie next as a form of retribution for making me watch that. But, in the spirit of being fair to the film, I didn't hate all of it. The last Twilight film (Eclipse) was bearable to me because it was more action oriented, with lots of werewolf on vampire action (letting me secretly hope Mr. Hair and Mr. Abs would just kill each other off).

This film was very different in vibe, maybe because of new director Bill Condon. I liked that the first half of BD Pt. 1 did include some scenes that had a lot of heart and dealt with very universal situations that many of us can relate to, such as having pre-wedding jitters, suffering through bad wedding toasts, being nervous about losing your virginity...

Kik: Yeah, I liked all that too. Bella's dad especially. He's the best actor, and character in the movies. I've read all the books and loved them, but even for people who just know these characters through the movies, I think it'd still be pretty emotional to see characters that we know as well as Bella and Edward go through those things. Especially Kristen Stewart's performance, I thought she really showed some compelling emotions in those early scenes.

I also quite liked the bed-breaking scene ... oh yeah!

Glenn: The second half of the film though, ugh, sooo off into the deep end. The creepy pregnancy, the birth scene, the imprinting thing, the ending scene with Bella ... maybe it all was more acceptable to someone who has actually read the books, but I was just confused and dismissive of the whole thing. I'm pretty sure there's better books out there.

Kik: There were definitely some tricky things in part one for the movie to portray, but I think the actors and director did a pretty decent job of showing things like the birth, and the imprinting. I really liked seeing those things taken to the big screen the way they were.

Glenn: Even after you filling me in on some details from the book that didn't make the movie, I'm still not onboard with everything. If nothing else, why in Bram Stoker's name does striking eyeshadow somehow get included in the list of cosmetic changes that happens to a newly made vampire?

Kik: Vampires are just prettier than mere mortals. I think you're just jealous of Edward's tousled hair and chisled jaw.

Glenn: Well at least he didn't sparkle in this movie, either in direct sunlight, or in his acting. Especially his scenes with Jacob ... maybe the two of them have just sucked that love triangle well dry, but those scenes seemed really blah to me. It didn't help that their last on-screen resolution involved wooden-faced Edward doing a tiny little nod to a CGI Jacob wolf.

Kik: Well all I care about is that those abs weren't CGI! But I digress. Talking about special effects, how creepy was Auchwitz Bella! The visual signs of the pregnancy were definitely striking.

Glenn: I'd call it creepy. I was ready for the Mormon Stephanie Meyers to beat me over the head with a pro-life story, but after seeing that horrid depiction of pregnancy I now see she was taking a completely different tact - trying to keep teen girls from ever, ever having sex. Otherwise, they might get impregnated with a bloodthirsty, rib and spine breaking demon spawn. Thank you Mrs. Meyers, for giving women everywhere a very good reason to not sleep with Rpatz!

Kik: Um ... I'd still hit that.


Kik: This is a "can't miss" for anyone whose a fan of the books or movies. Oh, I'm so psyched for part two! Renesmee is going to be so amazing!

Glenn: The movie manages to summon a little heart in the first half, but the two dimensional characters and hokey source material should deter anyone who isn't a self proclaimed Twifan. Oh, and if I were Edward, there would be no freaking way "uncle Jacob" would ever, ever be left alone with my daughter.


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    • giopski profile image


      6 years ago from Oakland, California

      I liked the way this review was presented. Conversations truly keep us hooked especially worthwhile conversations. Keep up!

    • glenn wallace profile imageAUTHOR

      glenn wallace 

      6 years ago


      Thanks for the encouragement!

      And yes, a very funny review. I totally agree about the Brawny Paper Towel Man.

    • Stevennix2001 profile image

      Steven Escareno 

      6 years ago

      Great job on the review you two, as I enjoyed reading both your collective thoughts on it. By the way, Glenn if you want, you should check out Jeremy Jahns' review on youtube, as he too made a joke about Jacob IMPRINTING on the baby that I think you'll find funny. Hell, I did. lol. anyway, here's the link if you both want to check it out:

      Anyway, keep up the good work you guys.


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