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Sarcastic Quotes

Updated on February 28, 2011
Sarcastic Quotes
Sarcastic Quotes
  • Sarcasm isn't an option, it comes with the package. If you can't handle it, don't come near me
  • They say that good boys are found in the corners of the earth. UNFORTUNATELY, the earth is round.
  • Just because I haven't reacted yet doesn't mean that all is forgotten. I'm just waiting for the right time and that should scare the hell out of you.
  • After thinking it all through carefully, summarising each point and observing each tiny detail I have come to the conclusion that I couldn't care less...
  • Would like to say sorry! To all the people that I haven't offended or pissed off today! Look at the bright side there's always tomorrow!
  • To error is human, to love is divine, to piss me off is a mistake
  • I love stupid people! Without them there'd be no way to measure my brilliance.
  • Holy crap! Did you just feel that? I think the whole world just revolved around YOU!
  • I think you should relax. Hey, why don't you take a long hot bath in gasoline and smoke a Newport :)
  • I never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if I have to leave them alone in order to do it
  • Surgeon General warnings shouldn't say "Women shouldn't drink alcoholic beverages during pregnancy". It should warn that drinking alcohol may lead to pregnancy
  • I'm NOT any man's half-time, down-time, spare-time, part-time,any-time or sometime. so don't waist my -time
  • I speak sarcasm fluently.
  • If i ever wanted to commit suicide one day, all i would have to do is jump from your ego to your IQ level *splat*
  • Dear haters, I'm sorry that your life sucks and my life is so blessed... wait no I'm not, get your own life and stay out of mine... have a nice day
  • look it's my cup of care \_/ oh look it's empty. well I guess you're out of luck then. :P
  • Awwwwwwww you don't like me? how sweet! i don't like you either! I'm glad we got that straightened out!

Sarcastic One Liners
Sarcastic One Liners
  • Making a few changes in my life. If you don't hear back from me, you are one of those changes!!
  • Stupid people are everywhere, it's like trying to dodge raindrops!
  • So sorry to burst your bubble...but, I don't play games with people I care about. It's called being a grown-up. You should try it sometime.
  • Everyone knows that I am an angel..dam, hold on a min..sorry, my tail was tangled around my pitchfork, and my horns were tangled in my, where was I.
  • oh's Monday again...who's in line to piss me off first?
  • Careful. I have a black-belt in Sarcasm.
  • Hi... can I borrow your pen? I need to stab you in the eye with it.
  • you need a tissue for your issue?
  • The main difference between an optimist and a pessimist is that the optimist is happy and the pessimist is right.
  • Can you be annoying a little later I'm still cleaning the gun...
  • Be careful, my sarcasm switch gets stuck in the on position...a lot.
  • When you figure out what you want, Let me know, 'cause I can't wait to say: IT"S TOO LATE!
  • What do I care about what you say about me. you don't even like yourself.
  • How about you fix yourself instead of breaking me... That sounds more like a plan.
  • Everything is just wucking fonderful, thanks for asking ;)
  • For My SANITY and your SAFETY ...SHUT UP!


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