Satire - Andrea Bocelli Regains His Vision

Whether you believe in miracles or not, Andrea Bocelli suddenly gained eyesight. This magnificent man who created a career for himself with his voice alone is reported to have awakened one morning with full visual dexterity. The doctors who examined him could find no reason for this happening. They were stunned.

Bocelli himself was overwhelmed, wept and had to be sedated.

The lack of a scientific basis for this unimaginable turn of events, has left the best scientists in the field of blindness in a state of near shock. Said one doctor, who wished to remain anonymous, "The event is unprecedented and inexplicable. Of course we are ecstatic, but our lack of knowledge puts us at odds with ourselves."

Those surrounding Bocelli have not been entirely forthcoming in statements. The little we have gained from sources who refuse to be identified, tell us that that Bocelli went through quite a process of adjustment. Many of the things he imagined did not mesh with his actual sight. Some images exceeded his wildest expectations and others fell far short. Under the circumstances, this is all understandable.

Bocelli said that having been given the gift of sight was both a gift and a burden. He said that some things were unimaginably beautiful while others were unequivocally ugly and beyond his worst expectations.

Among those supporting Bocelli during his transition was his old friend, Sarah Brightman, who had sung with him on several occasions, stroked him and laid her head against his chest. Bocelli said that he knew Brightman as soon as she entered the room -- not based upon sight but with the scent of her perfume. He called her a "true flower" and kissed her cheek. Brightman, overcome with emotion, shed tears of joy. Either to gain her own composure or his, Brightman, began to sing their famous duet, "Time to Say Good-Bye." No one in the room (including this reporter) could keep their eyes from tearing up. In all honesty, I wept like a baby, nearly unabashedly. Bocelli, for the first time in his life, could actually see Sarah. He touched her cheeks with such a loving kindness that I broke down.

When a reporter asked Bocelli whether he would go on with his singing career, he responded that he did not know. He said he felt like a child awakening from a long slumber and it would take some time to gain his bearings.

The most recent reports are not encouraging, however. Bocelli has resorted to wearing a blind-fold mask such as many airline passengers wear when they just want to go to sleep. According to aids of Bocelli, he has done this because he's determined there is more ugliness than beauty in the world. Reportedly, Bocelli says he loves the beauty but is unable to tolerate the ugliness.

We all hope that these bizarre events will not stop the super-talent from performing or making new recordings.