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Secret Life -- Love For Sale

Updated on August 15, 2012

50 Shades Of Grey have even made it into Secret Life, only it's being called 50 Spices. Kathleen is appalled when she discovers that Tom is reading it. After a sex scandal at the college, Tom throws it in the garbage. Message received. 50 Shades Of Grey is trash. And that's saying something when this show says it. But guess what? I still want to read it, so I can decide for myself.

The show begins with Amen II [Amy + Ben]. That's actually a better couple name than Bamy. Ethan is rapidly filling Ben's annoying shoes as Kathy takes him to meet the adoptive parents of her baby. In short order he proceeds to insult both adoptive parents to the point the adoptive father wants to punch his smug little face. Kathy texts Amy to do something and get Ethan out of there. Ricky is pissed because Amy makes him go and he has school work to do.

Ricky brings Ethan home and tells him to basically mind his own beeswax. He's not the father. Ricky also almost admits that if he had things to do over with Amy he wouldn't do it. Kathy phones off Ethan and tells him to get lost and stay away from him. Then Margaret has a talk with Ethan about how he doesn't respect her or Kathy and that she told him to stay away from the adoptive parents. Ethan respects Kathy's wishes in school and stays away from him, but she seeks him out and says sometimes she hates the adoptive parents, too. Please, just make it stop. Make this Amen sequel stop.

It's Amy's turn to be pissed when Ricky calls her to say he's going to pull an all-nighter at school. She's even more pissed to learn Ricky walked Clementine back to her dorm room, but he explains this creepy guy was hanging around the campus and both he and the security guard walked her home. Turns out the guy is a pimp and he preys on young girls, leading them into the life. Amy is appeased for the moment.

You know, ABC Family needs to stop with these faux promos suggesting some big thing is going to happen to blow apart the Ramy pairing. The scene they cropped together made it look like Ricky was telling Amy he regretted being with her. They've got another promo out for next week suggesting once again it's going to be the end for Ramy. They also keep saying one of the characters will be leaving forever. I'm guessing it's going to be Ben, because they're written the guy in a corner so there's really nothing else to do with him but have him go.

Adrian has a somewhat nice scene with Clementine when she reveals some guy was trying to offer her money as she stood in line at the bookstore but she told him to get away from her. Clementine was actually nicer to her than Omar, as Omar was trying to suggest it was Adrian's fault it happened. He also wants Adrian to live with him. I don't know how many times Adrian has told him she doesn't want a serious relationship and wants to concentrate on school. Talk about someone not respecting someone's wishes.

Jack isn't doing so well with the no-sex relationship Grace insists on and he leaves early. A girl shows up at his room offering him sex. Miracles of miracle he actually says no. Then she turns nasty a demands money from him or she'll cause a scene. She reveals she works for the guy that was harassing Adrian in the bookstore. If she doesn't come back with money, the guy will beat her up. As Jack's luck would have it, just as he's giving the girl some money the cops burst in and someone snaps his picture. It's all over the front page of the newspaper the next day.

Jack tells Grace he didn't do anything and was true to her and she believes him. He also claims talking to the teen hooker made him see the light where sex is concerned. He won't be pressuring Grace for it, anymore.

Apparently all teen boys think hookers become hookers because they like having sex. Leo has to explain things to Ben and tells him he should apologize to Amy and Alice for treating them like he owns them. Earlier he'd admitted to Alice that if he thought he had a shot with Amy he'd dump Dylan in a New York Minute but since he doesn't he doesn't want Henry to have her. When Ben goes to apologize to Amy she's pretty bitchy and snotty about it. He also says they can't be friends. It's no skin off her nose.

So tonight's episode was sponsored by the word, "Respect." It was all about men respecting women. That's why 50 Shades of Grey is trash; Christian Grey doesn't respect women. But you know respect is a two-way street. Amy doesn't respect Ricky and she was pretty disrespectful to Ben when he was apologizing to her. And Dylan was pretty disrespectful of Ben getting him to ask her out just so she could turn him down.


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