Secret Life -- What Do You Do With A Problem Like Ben?

Go to court and get a conservatorship over him so you can keep the little twit out of trouble.

Ben must be made of Teflon, because nothing sticks to him. This week he gets left off the hook for making false accusations against Omar. During the meeting with Omar and counselor Caitlin, he starts acting up when he learns Omar has proposed to Adrian. He starts acting all territorial. How soon he forgets just how crappy he was to Adrian after she lost the baby. I'm beginning to think the reason Benji is so hot to get back together with Dylan is because Amy is married and Adrian might be married and he doesn't want to be left out of the party and not be with someone.

At the same time poor beleaguered Leo is hoping Ben will stay out of trouble and stay away from Dylan. That's a big fat negative on both scores. Nora also guesses that Leo is going to try and use Ben's problems to convince her drop her desire to have a child. You never know what you're going to get. You could actually get another Ben and Leo hopes he'll finally be free of him once he turns 18 and graduates college. Counselor Caitlin even advised Ben is he doesn't start learning from people he's going to have big problems in life.

Amy advises Kathy that instead of hanging with Ethan she should make friends. Kathy takes her advice and picks two girls that are really bitchy to Amy. They don't seem to connect on any level and there doesn't seem to be any reason they want to hang together, but Kathy declares she now has friends. Oh, god, the writing on this show is just so bad. After Kathy goes off with Jody and Francine, Amy wants to hang with her home girls. Lauren, however, makes Amy feel she's just been dissed when Lauren says her parents would prefer her to hang with Madison, because Madison has never gotten pregnant and like Madison's parents more than they like Amy's.

Never fear, Jesus Freak Grace is here and she wants her and Amy to be friends. She says she's done with Adrian for good and glad to be free of her. She thinks that since their parents are dating and if George and Kathleen marry they could become sisters, they should be friends. Amy tries her best to get out of it, but shaking Grace is like trying to shake a Jehovah's Witness trying to push religion. I had two of them start following me down the sidewalk as I was walking home from work one day. You can always recognize them. They're the handsome young men dressed in a pristine white shirt and a tie, even when it's 90 degrees outside. Amy wisely throws in the towel and gives into Grace, inviting her to dinner. Ricky decides to take the opportunity to invite his friend Clementine.

I really can't stand this character. My nickname for her is Bitchentine. If you want to talk about someone being psycho, I think she fits the mold more than Dylan does. The way she's all up in Adrian's face because Adrian got what she never had makes me want to smack that nasty little hose beast. Adrian was having fun with three guys on the string and Bitchentine comes over and tries to mess it up. What's it to her. Then she claims she doesn't have coffee when Adrian asks for a cup. I don't know what Bitchentine's problem is with Adrian; Adrian has made it clear she's not interested in Ricky.

Off-topic that scene with Adrian and the three guys kind of reminded me of the opening scene in Gone With The Wind when Scarlett had all these men buzzing around her. I have to admit of all the ghastly characters on this show, I like Adrian the best. She's the most honest and generally tells it like it is. Of course, she seems to be disdained by everyone in town, including this newbie nutcase heifer.

Ben's perfect plan to sneak around and see Dylan is in jeopardy because of Alice. Guess Ben shouldn't have had sex with her, because Alice isn't going to play his pretend girlfriend. First, Alice tells Henry the truth about sleeping with Ben. Henry doesn't take it well, since Ben has been making him jump through hoops for sleeping with Adrian. Henry decides he'll go pick up Dylan as planned, but instead of doing it to help Ben, he's doing it to help himself.

When he arrives he suggests instead of going to the movies they stay home with the Pudding Pops and play board games. Henry tells Dylan that he saw her first and pointed her out to Ben. He also tells her that Ben is always going to be in love with Amy. He ends the night by kissing her. Take that Ben. You slept with his Alice, he's macking on your Dylan.

Jack's not thrilled about going to dinner at Ricky and Amy's. He even less thrilled when he walks in and sees Bitchentine sitting there, who takes off on his arrival. It doesn't take long for Grace to realize the Jack slept with her.

Strangely enough, Amy and Grace seemed to be getting on well. Adrian drops by since she's not going to be left out of the loop. She tells Amy and Grace she thinks Omar is the right guy at the wrong time, because she just wants to have fun in college, not settle down. She also tells Amy that she thinks Bitchentine is after Ricky and I think she's right. When John met Bitchentine he didn't like her. Listen to kids. They generally know.

Leo's not thrilled when Ben claims he can go out with Alice because his restriction is only from dating Dylan. Leo wants to know if Ben plans to sleep with Alice, again? Leo also thinks Ben is just using Alice as a beard to sneak around with Dylan and it isn't going to happen. He sends him to his room. Turns out Alice told Leo what was up and Leo promised Alice he'd make sure Ben didn't find out she ratted him out.

When Camille arrives the Bad News Bear comes down from his room to tell Leo he doesn't think he should date Camille. He gets really repulsive, declaring Leo too fat for Camille and that Camille's probably too old to get pregnant. Camille finally has enough and slugs him. This makes Leo laugh and he asks Camille to marry him and she says yes.

Kathy's faux-friends don't like Ethan and Ethan doesn't like them and it causes problems in Kathy and Ethan's budding romance. Ethan shows up at Kathy's and they patch things up, then her two new faux-friends show up for a slumber party. Do we really need Amy and Ben: The Sequel?

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