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Soap Operas - Man Observations

Updated on July 26, 2010

The Man

Man Observation on Soaps

Soap Opera Facts

*No one ever has a private conversation and when there is a private conversation going on a piece of it (the part they must keep secret) is ALWAYS either overheard by the person they are gossiping about or their nemesis.

*There is usually one guy in the soaps who has fathered a ton of children. Victor Newman, despite two vasectomies has knocked up nearly every woman on the show - and many of the dead ones too. Ridge and whatever character is played by Jack "You're All I Need" Wagner has fathered most of the kids on Bold & Beautiful.

*Speaking of... Ridge has been going between Brooke and Taylor since I was 7 which was a long time ago. I think he's married them both and divorced them both at least three if not four times. Brooke's son also slept with Ridge's x-wife Taylor and he hates Ridge. To me - I'm not sure why he just didn't settle with Taylor. She's better looking except for those fat lips and her/his kids like him and she is a doctor. I think they both might be younger than I am now.

*When a woman gets pregnant there is always at least two possible sperm donors and she has usually just decided on which of those she loves and then the baby daddy is always the other guy.

*Nothing good hardly ever happens on a Friday. Monday is the day.

*Lying always gets you in trouble. Always.

*On Y&R one guy often also knocks up two women. At the same time. It is called Young and the Restless for a reason.

*You are never for sure for real dead on a soap. Ever. No matter how it happened. EVER. For real. Never dead for good. Ever. Doesn't matter how it happened.

*Amnesia will happen to most every character at some point.

*It is very likely that an identical double of yours will appear in a soap and steal your identity at the very moment the real person has one of those amnesia bouts.

*Every question is met with a 5 minute pause/stare and then answered two scenes later. Or the following Monday.

*A kid who is 5 will often go away for the summer and then come back as a 17 year old.

*Most soaps have a story line where the mother-daughter hated each other before they knew they were mother-daughter and then make amends... then find out the paternity test was wrong... then become enemies.

*Paternity tests are often messed with. Almost always. Hospital security is non-existent in soaps.

*Subliminal messages are in all soaps that make your subconscious feel like you will surely die if you do not tune in at least 3 times a week.

*If you miss three weeks of a soap. It takes about 15 minutes to get caught back up. If you time it right though you can be freaked out about how Billy was pooping his diapers last month and now he got a woman pregnant who turns out *might* be his step-sister.

*No wedding goes off without some kind of scene. They are usually delayed two to three times first as well.

*You are not allowed to be happy for more than a week on a soap.

*1 out of 5 soap characters will be kidnapped for ransom at some point in their character's run.

*Many times the good guys on a soap are actually criminals or hit men but honorable ones... and you never actually see them smuggling drugs or killing people - except in self-defense once in awhile. Sometimes these murderous thugs are the most moral ones on the show.

*The guilty people are innocent over 90 percent of the time. Or had good reasons for doing their crime. A lot of people are willing to go to jail though for someone else. Even when it looked pretty certain that person never would’ve been convicted or the fact that person is actually innocent.

*No one ever eats their food on a soap. They are served. They poke. But they don’t eat and then they just walk away. Always.

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    • trusouldj profile image

      trusouldj 7 years ago from Indiana

      Taylor is like a doorknob --everybody has a turn.

    • JBeadle profile image
      Author

      J Beadle 7 years ago from Midwest

      Thanks Tom. My wife, sisters and mother all watched soaps. I'm a tad in the closet on General Hospital but it was more a college thing - eons ago.

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 7 years ago from home

      mY FREINDS MOM USED TO WATCH SOME AS DID MY WIFE-

      i see alot of funny stuff you have noted its funny ya look at some of the couples that you look at them and say she would never date that neanderthal or why would he date that cow and not the hot chick oh yes must be the Lewinski factor... good point

      Th

      interesting hub-4 sure

    • JBeadle profile image
      Author

      J Beadle 8 years ago from Midwest

      I've got more soap observations. More hubs to come! If anyone is interested. Any men read this hub? Closet fans?

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