ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Sodomites, Vaginamites and Cockites: Welcome to the Demise of Morality

Updated on January 21, 2012

Well, it turns out I’m a vaginamite. I had no idea. I’m not even that happy about it despite my general obsession with, well, vagina.

Okay, I am thinking that some of you are probably thinking, “WTF is a vaginamite?” and, honestly, that’s a fair question. It’s actually very similar to the question I asked when I found out that a gay friend of mine is a “sodomite.”

Apparently, if you are a gay male in America, there are many people who consider you to be a “sodomite.” Being an ignorant of such things, I had to ask what that meant. So, thankfully, I was told how it works.

You see, people who are gay, are, well, gay. That means they like people of the same sex as themselves. If you happen to be male and feel this way, then apparently the only thing that matters in our society is that, if you find someone with whom you share enough things in common (like literature, dog loving, exercise habits, work ethic, religion, political views, artistic sensibility, music… etc.), we, as a culture, reduce you to the sexual activities that might occur once you find someone with whom you share all those things in common. So, since some sexual contact of some particular type might take place we, therefore, assign you a label by which we can then decide how to treat you.


If it’s a man-on-man thing, you will, by iron decree, be indulging in sex of the posterior region making you a sodomite. If you are a male who likes chicks, you are, clearly a vaginamite (like me), and if you are a chick who likes dudes, you are a cockite. It's so simple.

Sodomites are the main focus though. But that's cool. The beauty and simplicity of this identification system, “sodomidenity,” is that it removes any need for thinking or expectation of personal complexity. If you are gay, you are clearly going to indulge in that booty sex thing, and, therefore, you are a sodomite, because “sodomy” is that booty thing, and if you do it, nothing else matters about you. Every other thing about you is instantly erased and, no matter your mind, wit, intelligence, talent, works, contributions, perspective, or anything else, none of that matters. You are just a sodomite.

Which is fine. I get it. You are gay. And, by the possibility of that booty thing, you are actually just a sodomite, because, well, we are defined by where we focus our sex acts. That really is what we are if we really, honestly examine who we are.

Which is why I am kind of depressed.

I am a vaginamite.

Look, I admit I love naked chicks. I do. I try to pretend I’m all intelligent and educated and stuff, but the truth is, when hot models and actresses come on TV, I’m thinking, “Man, I wish I could see her … V-part.”

I feel even more sorry for my wife. I love my wife. I do. More than anything. But, honestly, I spend a lot of time figuring out how to, well, you know… that, to her. So that's all I am. I'm not a husband, or father. Just a vaginamite.


I always thought that I was mostly about my work. My novel writing. My satire. The marketing and sales I have done to shape and grow companies I have worked for. The people I have helped. The people I have influenced, kids I raised, causes I made a difference in. But, well, I am a moron. I’m not that. Humans are not that stuff. We are who we hump or want to hump, and how we hump them.

I am a vaginamite. That’s it. Nothing more.

My wife is a cockite. Wow, how disappointing. I thought she was this amazing, loving, giving person, a great cook, kind mother, … but, by the rules of sexual reductivism, that doesn’t work. She’s just a cockite. And, frankly, now I’m insecure. Man, I hope nobody has a better, um… first part of her “...ite.”

Anyway, I’m not sure what else to say beyond this. But I just want everyone to understand how it really works. If you think you are some kind of enlightened something or other and you want to make some lame argument about "live and let live," or evolving freedoms in a modern world or some other stupid crap like that… don’t. We are nothing more than the reduced description of our preferred or possibly preferred sexual acts. The rest is just crap. So stop trying to pretend you have dignity. You don’t. You’re just a cockite, a sodomite or a vaginamite. Accept it.

My latest book:

The Galactic Mage - my new novel. If you read, and you like sci-fi and fantasy, check it out. I'm getting great reviews on Amazon, and could use your support. Thanks.
The Galactic Mage - my new novel. If you read, and you like sci-fi and fantasy, check it out. I'm getting great reviews on Amazon, and could use your support. Thanks. | Source

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)