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DIY tips and some very amusing quotes

Updated on April 24, 2012

Sell it with laughter

I'm always pondering new ideas for my home and simpler ways of carrying out tasks, I started to flick through a DIY book recently. As well as providing some really good DIY tips, it was also providing me with great amusement and laughs along the way.The author had added some humorous quotes which made it a great read. I'd like to share a little of the material from the book both tips and quotes and share some of my own expriences of them. The book is called 'The greatest DIY tips in the world' by Chris Jones and Brian Lee.


'Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure'

How true is this! we just can't help ourselves.Lets be honest,that bench is now going to become a magnet with such strength that our hands are almost going to be pulled from our torso in order to touch it, only then for the little voice in our head to tell us 'Goodness it is wet'. Why don't we just listen to the advice in the first place?

'Never put off till tomorrow what you can put off till the day after'

'There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house'

Sound familiar? Why is it that we always seem to find the time to chill when there's something tedius to be done in the home. I'm always on the go,family telling me to slow down,you need to rest but do I listen? yet as soon as I see something that could do with a bit of attention and I've no interest in the subject, my mind somehow instantly agrees with the opinions of others who have been telling me for weeks on end to take it easy. I decide to act on it there and then and think,'actually I do need to chill'

'If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence that you ever tried'

I remember after purchasing a new mirror for my lounge, the ordeal I suffered trying desperately to hang the thing before my partner arrived home from work. It was so heavy and really quite large, an impossible task looking back for someone as slight as I was then. But no, I had to have that mirror on that wall in time for her arriving home. Well, what can I say.I must have gone through a full packet of 30 nails hammering and hammering until eventually the wall looked like it had been hit by a round of bullets. Desperately trying to place the mirror in slightly dfferent positions to cover the holes I had no choice but to give up.The wall was in a state and I was in a state, a real state of despair at the thought of my partners reactions when walking in and seeing this mess on what was once a lovely feature wall. I had to think fast and so started to bodge the holes with blue tack! I then proceeded to paint over them in the hope that my vain efforts would be concealed. Needless to say I did get away with if for sometime but eventually was forced to reveal why the wall under the mirror had taken on the form of a fire range! 'Note to self' be upfront in future. At least I give it a go!

'Remember- you cannot hang everything on one nail'

Not quite sure of this one but for for me personally it reads, use the appropriate nails for the job. mmm..good advice I'm sure, but what if you don't have the apprpriate nails at hand, surely anything that works will do or at least give it a go! I do love my home and its shaby chic style, but I must admitt I'm not the best at following DIY advice, where there is a will there is a way is more my attitude and if I can get away with scews or indeed anything that will secure something to a wall then I'll use it, conceal it and if it drops off deny it! My partner on the other hand is a real stickler for doing things right when it comes to DIY and often refuses to listen to my rantings about creativity and initiative. I've gradually come to accept over the years that I'm shaby and she's chic!

'Law of workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.'

God don't you just hate it when this happens! you're stuck halfway up a ladder and you drop the tack you've been searching for for half an hour and in my case usually the only one left that I havn't battered to death! You try in vain to reach it but it has rolled underneath the only appliance in the room that isn't freestanding. Bummer, and as the saying goes 'sods law!' you're left staring at that picture you desperately wanted to hang thinking of alternative ways and wishing it would miraculously jump onto the wall and hang itself!

Creativity and initiative

Being creative has its benefits
Being creative has its benefits

DIY Tips


  • 'Warm paint Paint will be easier to apply with better coverage if you stand the tin of paint in a bowl of warm water for half an hour before use'
  • 'It is always better to dampen a brush before use to give a more even application.. When using latex paints the brushes should be dampened with water whereas oil based paints you should use a paint thinner.'
  • 'If you cannot finish a painting job in one day then don't bother washing your brushes.Instead wrap them in cling film or aluminium foil and store them in a cool place. They will be ready to use the next morning.'
  • 'When you have finished using a tin of paint,put a lttle vasline around the lip of the lid.This will make it easier to remove the next time it is used.
  • When you want to store your paint make sure the lid is tight on and turn it upside down for a few seconds before turning it upright. This wll give an airtight seal and reduce the skin that is uaually on the surface when opening the pot again


Removing wallpaper

'A solution of equal parts vinigar and warm water,apply to the paper and let it soak in' this will make it easier to remove. For more stubborn bits add more vinigar.

Measuring wallpaper

'When measuring lengths try using blu-tak to hold the top of the paper to the wall.This leaves both hands free to measure the length.

Curling corners

'Paint the back of the offending corner with egg white and leave until tacky before pressing down firmly'

Cleaning paste bruhes

'Rinse the brush in salted water before washing it properly.This will leave the brush soft and springy'

Home-made tile glue

This seems really odd but it apparently works!

If you've no glue and a tile falls off make you're own. You'll need some jam heated to boiling point and then applied to the back of the tile. Push the tile in place and hold for a few minutes then grout as normal.

Clear car windows

'On a foggy morning car windows can mist over. Avoid this by rubbing a cut raw potato over the exterior of the glass.When it dries the window will stay frost free' To keep them frost free on icy mornings, coat them the night before with a solution of three parts vinigar to one part water.'


Finally, just remember 'Every DIY job is a self portrait of the person who did it' mmm.. not sure I like that one!


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