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How to Handle A Breakup

Updated on August 8, 2010

LOVE, is it predestined to transform into hatred? What does faith in love become when iconic marriages and relationships are on the break? Bruce Willis and Demi Moore started the domino effect that bulldozed its way through Patti Labelle’s marriage of years. Seismic waves of the aftershock have flattened Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman and their shrapnel ricocheted through the very union fabric of Vanessa Williams and Rick Fox reaching even further to destroy the home of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston. Where do we go from here?

Is it a crime that despite it all I still want you? Is love what I live for a compelling like no other? Love - it runs deeper than the deepest deep and higher than the highest of highs. Love - grant it I so much power? Control – is there a method to the madness?

       Love’s Got Everything To Do With It – Soo Love Yourself Better!

Tip #8041

When to realize a relationship is over: Does your partner take you for granted, never acknowledge your self-sacrifices, ignore or belittle your feelings? When you pull into your driveway after a long day’s work, are there stomach knots to remind you of the dread you’re about to face, the dread that is partner/spouse? Maybe you have even grown numb to your partner’s verbal abuse, lies, cheating, shameless flirting, or insecurities… Get out NOW! Resuscitate yourself because you are already dead, my friend, and regain control of your life. Don’t give meaning to the words “stick and stay”. Life’s too short to spend the time you have in misery.

  1. Consider couple’s therapy, if out of the question; make a conscious decision to move on.
  2. Journalize your past relationship hurts and write a description of what you want and do NOT want in your next relationship. Be vigilant and watch for the sign posts you have just created.
  3. Envision what the ideal life would be like.
  4. Revisit your journal and write down what you would like to accomplish.
  5. Map out and write a realistic step-by-step achievement plan.
  6. If children are involved, sit them down and explain why it is your responsibility and ultimate decision to provide a safe haven for them and yourself; then with back strong and head held high, carry out your decision.

Tip #7942

Handle a breakup: Ix-nee on getting over an old love by getting under a new one!! Do not sleep with an ex. Most importantly, avoid backtracking at all cost or you will live to regret it! Make a clean break because nothing hurts more than or as long as a rollercoaster breakup.

1. Take some time to cry over the spilled milk. This is that time when it is okay to wallow in self-pity.

2. Do not harden your heart to the pain; doing so will harden your heart to everything, good or bad. Yes, keep out the bad, but baby, let in the good.

3. Remind yourself of your beauty and your worth.

4. Seek counseling from a trusted unbiased friend or relative, therapist or minister.

5. Hang out with your friends, vent a little, and make an effort to laugh at something - anything!

6. Learn something new like a language, dance, drama, or sports.

Now, it is time to wipe up that spilled milk and move on! Anticipate your new possibilities and go out on dates when YOU feel ready. Before you know it, you will have forgotten all about the break-up…Dear Jane/John, who???

Repeat Affirmation:

I Pledge to be forever mindful of the power I hold

I am in control

Through me, Beauty, Happiness and Freedom speaks

Success, Harmony and Order entangles me

Full of joy, I am Awesome; I am Complete

I Am Fierce!

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    • profile image

      SilverGenes 7 years ago

      Oh - now that we have computers, never EVER drink and type LOL

    • Wendy Powell profile image

      Wendy Powell 7 years ago

      You're right, after a many breakups of saying things impossible to take back, journaling is the best place to vent! Thanks for the feedback, SilverGenes.

    • profile image

      SilverGenes 7 years ago

      Good advice for anyone in a bad situation. Journaling is probably the best thing ever for venting and seeing the situation from 'outside'. Well done.

    • Wendy Powell profile image

      Wendy Powell 7 years ago

      lol... another way of putting it! Being a big girl is always Best!!!

    • profile image

      mia j. 7 years ago

      I agree 100%... when u realize it's over be a big girl & put ur "big girl" panties on and's OVER!