SometimesYouFeelLikeANut

Being the movie fan I am I’m always looking to catch up on nominated films I haven’t seen before the Academy Awards arrives. That way I can truly decide whom I think should win in the various categories. I hadn’t seen either of Kate Winslett’s movies, “The Reader” and “Revolutionary Road.” Usually around the Oscars the nominated films are playing in most theaters or re-released, but neither of these films are playing in numerous theaters. I did find a theater in Burbank that was actually playing both. “Revolutionary Road” was playing at 9:30pm on Sunday night., Feb. 15th. I didn’t want to wait an hour to see “The Reader” at 10:30pm. So I headed out.

I find a space in the parking garage. Before I could get out of my car, a family walks up beside me. I open my car door a smidgen so they’re aware I’d like to get out as well. Seeing that the family had three children I thought it might take a while before they drive away. Hindsight I would have waited a few minutes for them to leave first. Anyway, there’s not much room between the cars. I shut my car door once. I can see the seatbelt is keeping my door from closing. I open the door, move the seatbelt out of the way and slam it shut. I then start walking away. Before I knew it this ethnic-looking guy in a sports-jersey is saying, “Hey!” Then he says, “You got a problem?” He nods to the area I parked and said again, “You got a problem?” “I don’t have a problem. What are you talking about?” “The way you treated my family. You got a problem.”

Before I know it the robust father PUNCHED me on the right side of my face. It came very fast and I felt the sting. My head went back, but I didn’t need to adjust my balance. The man’s wife gasped like she didn’t want him to do that. The father said he wanted me to apologize to his children. My instinct took over as I started to think how this man looks and acts like the type that just might carry a gun in his glove box. The thought resonated as I looked over the top of the man’s head and the intricate patterns of lines drawn on his shaved head. I also thought this father was mostly protecting his children and I guess it could have seemed like I was being a jerk to their family.

So I apologized to his three children and asked him if that was good enough. I didn’t even mention why I slammed the door shut a second time. With that we went our separate ways. At first I started to head to the theater and then another thought entered my mind. If I thought if he was the kind of guy that carried a gun in his glove box, he might just go for a drive after dropping off his kids. So, needless to say, I got in my car and drove out of that parking lot. I ended up missing “Revolutionary Road” as there weren’t any more parking spaces.

I ended up renting “The Visitor” starring Richard Jenkins nominated for Best Actor. “The Visitor” was excellent and “Burn After Reading” was very funny.

The night actually got worse as my throat closed up a bit after consuming M&M Peanuts. It was one of those items I was supposedly allergic to years ago, but a reaction never happened until last night. So, my cheek is swollen from being sucker-punched and my throat is swollen from food allergies. OYE! Oh, well. Goodbye M&M Peanuts. It’s been a good ride at the movies. I guess I’ll never feel like a ‘nut’ again.

Don’t worry. I’m fine.

So, again in retrospect I probably should have waited the five minutes for the family to be on their way. I’ll probably still go to Burbank to see movies, but not my first choice. How does that Guns N' Roses song go? "Just a little patience...yeah, yeah."