ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015) Review

Updated on August 16, 2020
Even the poster is a copy of older Star Wars posters.
Even the poster is a copy of older Star Wars posters. | Source

Jar Jar Abrams Awakens

The Bad Writing and Characters of Jar Jar Abrams Ruins A Decent Script by Lawrence Kasdan

JJ Abrams decides to get Lawrence Kasdan to rewrite a New Hope then he adds his own Mary Sue self-insert characters and his BS mystery box nonsense into the script. Nonsense McGuffin that bad guy Ugly fake emo based with weak chin wants for no clear reason. Basically, in short, this film completely retreads and copies the first Star Wars film almost shot for shot but with nonsense and unlikable characters spread within.

They misuse Max Von Sydow and all the other older actors who they treat as silly old people who have all devolved as characters since we last saw them saving the galaxy. Harrison Ford is an unlikable curmudgeon who forgot how to act convincingly much like his previous failure in Indiana Jones and The Crystal Skull.

We will meet Rey Finn and Poe our new main cast and poor excuses for Luke Han and Leia, during the course of this movie, who were likable protagonists that we identified with not the new boring millennial cast members, who are not charismatic heroic or likable in any way. Finn is a storm-trooper who gets sad because he must shoot people, he's dull and one dimensional. Then he frees Poe who is currently held prisoner by Garth Vader who we met on not Tatooine and not Ben Kenobi who gives not Han Solo a MacGuffin. Finn seems like he would be the character and seems to be not Luke Skywalker who like Luke is kind of childish but doesn't seem to be much of a dreamer, unlike Luke.

Then we meet Mary Sue, I mean Rey Sue or whatever her last name is. She is an orphan with a stupid stick who is a terrible Luke Skywalker wannabe. Luke is likable because he doesn't start out as a Jedi master, at our first meeting of Luke he's kind of whiny cocky and rebellious and wants to go to the academy to be with his friends who have all left. He gets taken out by Tusken Raiders or Sand People and must be saved by Ben Kenobi and trained. Rey is not trained and learns nothing is just a "badass" from the get-go and knows how to use Jedi mind tricks and wield a lightsaber flawlessly and doesn't have to train with a remote drone to sense the force. Rey also can't emote I can't tell what her emotion is she always looks dazed and confused.

early title leak of the film.
early title leak of the film.

Plot Summary of a Force Awakens

We start the film on not Tatooine not Darth Vader is telling Max Von Sydow to give him the macguffin or he'll be real mad and throw a temper tantrum like the ugly baby he is. Max tells Paul Blarth Mall Vader to shut up and go away, and tell Poe or not Han Solo to hide the macguffin and he tells not r2d2 to go hide the macguffin. Then Emo not Darth Vader kills Max and tells his stormtrooper buddies to kill everyone, instead of interrogating anyone because he's dumb and has no notion how to be a competent leader.

But then against all luck they manage to capture Poe because one of the stormtrooper didn't start shooting people at random, not because he thought they should interrogate them first but because he didn't know being a stormtrooper meant you had to follow orders. Said stormtrooper we find out to be named Finn and is a storm-trooper who gets sad because he was told to shoot people, he first comes across as dull and one dimensional. Then he frees Poe who is currently held prisoner by Garth Vader who we met on not Tatooine and not Ben Kenobi who gives not Han Solo a MacGuffin.

Rey and Finn meet up, Finn says he with the resistance which should be called the republic since they were the victors of the last galactic war. Anyway, storm-troopers find them and they steal the millennium falcon and can fly it with ease thanks to Rey. Then our new discount Luke Leia and Han (or at least two of them) meet up with an elderly Han Solo who also seems fake. He has had no growth since we met him in the bar scene in A New Hope and is now again a loveless loser who again owes money to the space mafia. The Scottish Mafia and then they all get attacked by an alien squid monster.

They use plot armor to escape the Scottish mob and the tentacle monster. Han Solo tells them the force is real, not unlike Obi-Wan Kenobi in New Hope which unnecessary in this film because we all know this already and don't need dumb exposition. Snoke the new emperor tells Garth Vader to find Luke Skywalker and blow up some planets.

They land on a jungle planet and meet up again with not Han Solo who meets faux Old Han Solo. They meet old Leia who has one line then she's forgotten about by the film. And Luke never gets to say hello to his old friends before they die which is a travesty. There's a new Death Star but now it can destroy more planets another dumb repeated plot element because Jar Jar Abrams has no imagination or creativity.

Then Han Rey and Finn must meet up with an orange butt hole eyed alien who gives them another f***ing mystery box MacGuffin. A blue lightsaber that was owned by Anakin Skywalker and gives Rey nightmares. Then they go to the bad guy base which is a Hoth like planet which is also a new Death Star. Anyway, Not Darth Vader or Garth Vader meets his daddy who tells him to stop being an emo crybaby. After getting his feelings hurt Garth Vader kills his papa because he's an a**hole and kills the shadow of a beloved character. Finn grabs a lightsaber and we think he's going to be the underdog hero of the film but gets beaten up by Barth Bader. Rey uses her new force powers she didn't learn and fights not Darth Vader and beats him up because he's a dumb baby.

Then the base blows up and they find the map to Luke Skywalker. For some reason Leia is the one who goes meets Luke even though she has no connection whatsoever to him unlike Han Solo who they unceremoniously killed off to appease a mean old grandpa who hate the role that made him famous like a dumb spoiled brat. Why doesn't Leia his sister and only family go to visit him, or even his old droids C3PO or R2-D2 instead of some random character who he's never met before. The End. Enjoy more terrible Star Wars Disney movies, dummies.

Video Review of Force Awakens


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)