ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Stoopid & Stoopid-er!

Updated on June 13, 2012

How man fell off the evolutionary wagon.

The Internet, like my brain, is a vast labyrinth of almost infinitesimal series of connections and interconnections, forming circuits traversing and meandering along at a perpetual bifurcating path of diverging transmission trunk lines.

That's why I can rarely put together enough of the neurons and synapses and dendrites in the right sequence to construct an intelligent thought, let alone a complete sentence, or...gasp...write a coherent paragraph.

Darn that evolution!

That's the problem when you rely on random chance & chaos to design a brain out of a bunch of unrelated spare biological left-over parts. The brain looks like something purchased on a government contract; or another inferior product being plugged on one of those interminable infomercials we're constantly subjected to. Surfing through the channels: looking for good wholesome, uplifting content on TV like gory horror flicks or blood-n-gut action movies; and all you find is infomercials. It's like running barefoot and blindfolded through a cow pasture; eventually you know you're going to step in a cow pattie. It isn't easy to find quality programming with real substance. Take American Idol. No. Literally. Please take it because I can't stand to watch grown people make complete idiots out of themselves on national TV and being subjected to ridicule. It's like re-living Junior High all over.

Watching a full episode of modern TV is like hooking a giant cerebral vacuum cleaner up to your left ear canal and turning that 'sucker' on! It's worse than having a digital network enema. That's not a remote control, you're giving yourself a lobotomy in High Def. The sad part is that it's all self-inflicted. Why don't you just give yourself a mental wedgie, or something?!!

We went from occasional episodes of Gilligan's Island and the Beverly Hillbillies, which you could only catch one night a week on a black and white TV screen the size of a shoe-box; now we got 24 hour cable TV on Flat-screen that could double for the old Drive-thru, minus the cheesy little speakers and the 13 teenagers crammed inside the trunk. Is it any wonder why society is in a mess?

The more we watch TV, the 'stoopid-er' we get. That's what happened to the Neanderthals. Evolution was going just fine, man was making great intellectual progress; then TV came along and the whole thing fell apart after that. Next thing you know those Neanderthals were going the wrong direction on the evolutionary interstate.

There's a lesson here for all you civilized 'goobers' reading this, if you get stuck in front of the TV night after night. The same thing will happen to you as the Neanderthals. Before long, they were living in caves, dragging their women behind them by their hair, and staring dumbfounded at simple objects like 'fire' and the 'wheel'. They're watching the Cro-Magnons versus the missing links on reality TV episodes, chucking piles of solidified stegosaurus 'poo' at each other instead of doing their homework or going to the library. Then they have to resort to grunting and making wild exaggerated gesticulations trying to communicate while they watched the network news outlets.

Is that what you want?

No, you won't see this episode on the Discovery Channel.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • olgakhumlo profile image

      olga khumlo 

      2 years ago from Mira Road Mumbai India

      Thank God man fell off the Evolutionary wagon! Good hub.

    • jimagain profile imageAUTHOR

      jimagain 

      3 years ago from Hattiesburg, Mississippi

      Thanks for reading this, Louisa!

    • profile image

      Louisa 

      3 years ago

      I might be betiang a dead horse, but thank you for posting this!

    • josh3418 profile image

      Joshua Zerbini 

      6 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Hey I am glad you responded to my comment, because I forgot to register my votes....Ok done!

      And yes I agree, what a sad concept!

    • jimagain profile imageAUTHOR

      jimagain 

      6 years ago from Hattiesburg, Mississippi

      Thanks Josh3418.

      Like the theory of evolution, my Hub evolved from inchoate nothingness into simple blobs of protoplasmic thought; this happened inexplicably through the process of random chaos without intelligent intervention.

    • josh3418 profile image

      Joshua Zerbini 

      6 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Great article, I loved it! Voted up and all the way down the line! Great job Jim!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)