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Swim In My Green Pool

Updated on July 7, 2009

My pool has been green since May. I have dumped every chemical a poor man can afford into the water, and still, that damn pool is green. Green like an Emerald, I'll still go for a swim.

I won't test the water, I know it's clean. It smells like soap. I know I could test the water, but that kind of shit just seems far too complicated. Besides, I'm a poor... simple folk. Green water does not bother me, it's when some asshole has to point it out.

'Ew, did you know your pool wattah is Gu-rheen?' Tah tah.

I reply with some snarky remark on how I'm color blind. What do they know? I've swam in pools that were green and slimy, and my heart is still beating. At least the pool is not slimy.

So while they sweat and make comments, I swim in heat busting Emerald juice- eat that.

I got this pool last summer...


was it the summer before?

Whatever. Either way the cheap hook me up and fill me up in one hour pool is fantabulous. For $300.00 it came with it's own plug, filter, and ladder. I'm livin the big life, la vida loca even.

-Since we are on this summer water topic now, I figured I'd jump the topic, but keep it related.

Bathing suits.

Personally I hate bathing suit shopping.

In stores they won't ever sell me the top and the bottom in a set together. Nope...they charge for the top, and the bottom separately. That will be $40.00 for the top, and $40.00 for the bottom. A cool $80.00 for one ugly bathing suit.

Most of us will buy the top, and wait for the bottom to go on sale, only to discover that when it goes on sale, its all sold out. This is why so many women do the mix match bikini (which by the way looks like shit). It is because the fucking money sucking bikini co's are too greedy to sell the damn thing as a set.

For you fashionista bitches, maybe you are okay with spending $40.00 on a pieces of cloth no larger than a fishing string- you are okay with spending daddy's money. However when I piss out $80.00 for a bathing suit I expect the damn thing to cover my tits, my ass, and I expect it to stay put when I go for a swim.

That does not happen though does it. The suit only covers half the boob, and half the butt. Barbie with her perky tits, and flat ass must have had a hand at the design of bathing suits.

Maybe some of you like your ass hanging out, but personally I don't want to smell your butt cheese when you walk by. Seriously I don't want to smell it, and believe me, I have smelled my fair share of dirty puddy's this summer at the beach. I should be able to sue you for violating my nostrils like that. It causes embarrassing bouts of sneezing, which could have all been avoided had you rinsed with some Vagisil before going to the beach in your teenie weenie, unwashed polka dot bikini.

Another complaint I have about swimsuits is the fact that nearly every single suit for sale these days include some strange weigh my titty's down chain.

Why is there a chain on a swimsuit?

I made the mistake of buying one of these 'spensive chain gang suits, only to have the damn thing rust away after just 2 uses. I guess I was glad in a way though, because in due time, the shiny metal surely would have attracted a shark, or some water predator.

I guess it is cool if you don't know how to swim, and you are some dirty bitch who never washes the suit. Just spray some perfume on that crotch, no one will notice the difference... that is...until the wind blows, and the crowds gets a woofed foul mixture of rose oil and ass juice.

Just stay away from me if you go in the water, I don't need any sharks biting me while attempting to eat your chain-kini. Tee-hee!? Got it Gidget?


Sequined swimsuits? Or stupid bait impression?   Let the shark decide!
Sequined swimsuits? Or stupid bait impression? Let the shark decide!


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    • profile image

      been there! 4 years ago

      I have been taking care of my pools for more that 30 years due to owning a pools. I had this problem one year when I used my neighbors clean pond surface water to top off my pool up to 6 inches a year after closing it for the winter to save money buying water from water delivery service seeing we just had a well and our water supply is not plentiful like using city water. (I won't do this again, I will buy pool water from now on after this experience, see what happens when you try to save a $100). I never had that problem before using the same pond water a couple times before, so what happened??? My neighbors did some bull dozing around their pond that year to build a large horse ring.

      That year when I started cleaning the pool after the initial pumping to top of my pool, I had filtered the water as it was filling up thru my cartridge filter thinking this would take care of the algae, but it was not algae causing the look of bright green water (the water looked clear but was green and the sides of the pool were not slimy like when algae forms? The more chlorine I put in the pool the brighter green it got, the pool water would turn a cloudy blue at first for like a half an hour, then before my eyes start to turn to a bright green like grass! I went to 3 well-know pool dealers in my area, one told me that I should load it up with chlorine "because I had a MONSTER in my pool", but I thought? that the initial amount of chlorine to shock the pool when opening did not do the job, I figured more chlorine would just damage my liner buy bleaching it out or worse!!! I went to another pool company to get the water tested and they sold me some chemicals they were sure would help bring to bring the water back to normal but these did not work???

      The 3rd pool company owner knew her "stuff" I finally was told what the problem was. She explained to me that the pond water must have changed in it's chemical composition due to the bull dozing and the run off from the ground water. She allowed me to borrow without "any cost to me" (what a sweetheart), one of her used DE (DE powder) filters to bypass my cartridge filter and to keep adding new DE powered until my pool cleared. All she asked is that I bring the DE filter back to her in the same condition she let me borrow it in and to buy chlorine from her! What a miracle, this worked like MAGIC. The 3 long weeks of me trying to figure this pool water problem out ("like the twilight zone") and adding probably more chlorine that I should of, and chemicals that did not work even after getting my pool water tested, this took only like a day to work!

      The bottom line possibly to your problem of green water could be too much magnesium in your pool water! I had to much magnesium in my pool water, go figure, (this turns pool water green), even with chlorine treatment and I also found out too much iron in the water will turn the pool water orange/red with chemicals.

      You learn something new everyday!

      Try this out, if your problem is algae then it should feel slimy on the walls and floor of your pool. Algae in pool water, most of the time can be treated with algaecide and chlorine pretty quickly.

      I will never forget the kindness and knowledge of this pool company owner for helping me get the "MONSTER" out of my pool!


    • profile image

      Quik N Clear Pool Service 7 years ago

      Lets us clean up your dirty pool water. Our name says it all!

      Quik N Clear Pool Service

      Chemical Only $35/Month

      Regular Pool Service $60/Month

      Deluxe Pool Service $90/Month

      Green Pool? We charge an extra $45 to administer extra chemicals

      Refer a friend and receive a FREE month!


    • profile image

      Kenny  7 years ago

      Thank you Tony for the clarification. Great comment there.

    • profile image

      mellaviews 8 years ago

      hahah. love it Tony!

    • profile image

      Tony 8 years ago

      There is some confusion about "green pools". The water may well be crystal clear and fine to swim in, but the BOTTOM or SIDES still have algae... no big deal - swim to your hearts content.. Its just a little uncomfortable feeling when you step on the floor and it's a little slippery... it wont kiil anyone or make anyone sick. SOLUTION... just brush the bottom algea off the bottom or sides and dump in a few bottles of the cheapest chlorine bleach (from the supermarket not the pool store). Yes, CHLORINE BLEACH like you put in your washing machine... its the same shit that the pool stores overcharge you for by putting it in a different bottle with a pool picture on it. So yeah, brush or wipe the bottom with a long pole and brush, and dump chlorine and you pool will be blue.

      Bathing suit separates? of course they come separate - that's a nobrainer. Some girls have flat boobs and a big round ass - they need to sell them separate. But If I had to pay over $35 for the entire thing, I would have a problem with that. I would learn how to make my own bathing suit and become good at it.... then you could make your own and sell some too!

    • Megavitamin profile image

      Megavitamin 8 years ago

      Oh man, I am a victim of the mis-match bathing suit--and not by choice. The appeal of separates is supposed to be that you can find a top and bottom in different sizes, if your body isn't straight-from-the-oven-cookie-cutter. I'm down with that, as long as you aren't charging me $40 per piece (I'm on Team Poor People, too!)

      In my case, this year I just so happened to need the same size for both and couldn't find a "set" to save my life. After an hour of looking, I compromised on style and color and STILL couldn't find a matching suit in my size. I apologize for not being a XXL top and a XS bottom....oh wait, no I don't! Can't a girl just get a medium set?

      Blah! Thanks for dredging up bad memories :0)

    • profile image

      melissa 8 years ago

      omg, there is a waterpark out here I wont even go near. The water is a piss bucket. lol. they still though flock there every summer.

    • SweetiePie profile image

      SweetiePie 8 years ago from Southern California, USA

      I saw people swimming at a water park where the water was literally brown, and yet they all seemed to be alive and kicking. I am sure a green pool is at least clean, and it does not have to be blue to be clean :).

    • MellasViews profile image

      MellasViews 8 years ago from Earth

      that green pool is clean as a used childs whistle... hahaha.

      There is a lot of debate flaring up in the forums today! I wanted to stop in a comment, but the place is lookin a little scary! Wowzas!

    • profile image

      Adam B 8 years ago

      I find a great bit of irony when you talk about all the "dirty bitches" that don't wash thier swim suit...when you...are swiming in green water! Hmmm.

      I didn't know they charge for the top and bottom seperately...I guess I haven't been out buying womens bathing suits lately. That sucks though, sorry ladies.