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The Breast Contest | Kim Kardashian VS Britney Spears

Updated on November 13, 2010

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Now some people might say that far too much attention is being paid to the likes of Kim Kardashian and Britney Spears for almost no reason at all. However, I would disagree. There is a reason, a very strong, compelling reason. That reason is that they both have breasts. Breasts that they seem to delight in sharing with the world. Now Britney has certainly managed to share vast amounts of her breasts with the world at large, especially of late, whereas Kim has, thus far, kept hers under control. That is if you don't count her sex tape. Damn, where it once seemed obvious who would win this initial round of the breast contest, things are suddenly a little more complex.

What it really comes down to is this, the infamous...


Due to the rigors of having had two children, Britney's breasts are unfortunately rather saggy. If she wore a bra, we would never have known, but this is Britney and she shuns underwear like fish shun the desert. I heard somewhere that she runs the risk of actually dying if underwear touches her skin, which would totally explain why she hasn't worn any in such a long time.

Kim, on the other hand, is relatively unsaggy. However due to the size of her breasts, they can appear rather saggesque. These are no Scarlett Johansson, up-by-my-nose breasts. No, Kim's are large, and though she often doesn't wear a bra either, she manages to carry it off, probably due to the fact that she has never had a baby sucking at her.

Interestingly enough, although Kim appears younger than Britney Spears, she is, in fact, a couple of years older. Which just goes to show you how important it is to maintain a plastic surgery regime. A good cosmetic surgeon means that age will never catch up with you. Of course, Britney reportedly had fairly extensive surgery to get her back into shape after the divorce, but if she denied it, I'd probably believe her. I'm trusting like that.

The Winner?

Kim seems determined to win all the prizes when it comes to Hollywood beauty, and as long as she continues to have any wrinkles ironed out of her face as soon as they appear, and doesn't accidentally breed any time soon, she may just win them. Because her breasts (which would appear to this untrained eye to be fairly fake) are more perkalicious than Britney's, then on the surface, surely they must win. Then again, Britney is au naturelle, and so so generous with them.

You decide. I can't.


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    • kallini2010 profile image

      kallini2010 6 years ago from Toronto, Canada

      I don't know any of them. Could not care less. But it would be interesting to see male celebrities start parading their private parts propped up up-their-nose and we all be comparing who has the longest and widest and biggest cock ever seen on earth.

      Insanity seems to be infectious.

      Vanitas vanitatum omnia vanitas.

      All is vanity. And insanity. Why anyone cares about anybody's breasts? Do they make you happy?

    • profile image

      Bobby Robespeare 6 years ago

      I don't have a lot to add on the great celeb breasteses debate. Except,people seem to forget that Kim has had extensive surgery in the form of breasts and booty enhancements. I'll stick with Britney -- the next best thing to sticking to her.

    • dobo700 profile image

      dobo700 7 years ago from Australia

      Kim wins hands down

    • Bobby Robespeare profile image

      Bobby Robespeare 8 years ago

      Breasts have little to do with it. Kim Kardashian's brand of beauty, eye-catching as it is, is the glossy stuff of the anonymous "Playboy" magazines airbrushed assembly line. Britney Spears is an unmistakeable original, pure gold in the pan.

    • profile image

      Morel 9 years ago

      I'm going with Kim.

    • profile image

      Mike Paahana 9 years ago

      Kimmy all the way u down girl the hottest girl on the web right now