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The People You See at a Public Pool

Updated on February 22, 2015
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie has been writing for HubPages for over 5 years. She covers a wide variety of topics—anything from hamsters to office work.


Let's Talk About the Public Pool

Ah, the public pool! It is a fun place many of us go to cool off during the summer. Perhaps you belong to a gym with a pool or maybe you live in an apartment with a resident pool. You might even just opt to take a dip the next time you are at a motel with a pool that looks like it was cleaned in the last year or so. It really does not matter where you go, the public pool can be plenty of fun.

At the same time, part of the joy of the public pool is not just swimming. If you like to people watch, the good times await you at the public pool. I daresay the public pool is one of the best places to watch for interesting people. Let's discuss some of the characters you might just meet while at the public pool.

Rashy Randy

Rashy Randy is not at every public pool, but he shows up at enough pools to deserve some recognition. Rashy Randy looks as if he just rolled around in poison ivy or he mistakenly stepped into a swarm of mosquitoes. No matter what happened to Randy, he has a rash. Sure, he should have probably stayed home and applied some Calamine lotion, but Randy is not going to let a little rash ruin his good time.

In general, 9 times out of 10 Rashy Randy is not even contagious. Considering how much chlorine is in the pool, you won't have any issues there. I would, however, recommend taking a towel with you to place on any chair you are going to sit on. You might not see Rashy Randy while you are at the pool, but maybe he left 5 minutes before you got there... and sat in the very chair where you were about to put your nearly naked butt. Put a towel down!

Modest Mindy

At just about any pool, there is someone who is really modest. Not only does she have a full swimsuit on, she is also wearing a t-shirt, shorts, and shoes, too. The interesting thing about Modest Mindy is she is usually not the worst looking person at the pool. No, typically the person that should be wearing the most clothes is wearing the least amount of clothes.

Modest Mindy is just simply uncomfortable at the pool. But perhaps she should be considering how much some folks stare at people, which brings me to my next pool character...


Creepy Chris (or Christina)

At every pool, there is at least one creepy person. That person usually just sits on a chair or beach blanket, and stares at everyone else as if he (or she) has never seen a person in a bathing suit before. What is most unsettling is Creepy Chris does not take a hint. Staring back at Creepy Chris does not make him turn away in shame like a normal person. Oh no. He takes that as a sign that he has a new friend.

What I am trying to tell you is avoid all eye contact with Creepy Chris! There is no teaching this guy a lesson. He is creepy and he knows it. He does not care! He is there to get an eyeful and no one is going to stop him. If you look at him for too long, he is going to come over to engage you in conversation, and trust me, that is not what you want.

Forgotten Frankie and Farrah

Kids sure love to play at the pool. Some kids are natural born swimmers, and others prefer to put some arm floats on and have a blast at the pool. All of this is absolutely great until the children get out of hand. Leaping into the deep end, pushing other kids in the pool, or splashing water in everyone's eyes are all activities a parent should reprimand a child for doing. Of course, that means the parents have to be somewhere in sight.

At just about any pool, you will find Forgotten Frankie and Farrah. They are just a couple of kids under 10 years old and there is no adult supervision. For some reason, some parents think the lifeguard is supposed to babysit their kids. The lifeguard is not a babysitter and is trying to... well... guard lives, as the name suggests. He or she does not have the time to give a kid a time out for nearly drowning his baby sister, yet there is no one else to do it either. Poor Forgotten Frankie and Farrah. I hope their future foster parents are nice.

Overly Confident Conner

At any pool, there are going to be some attractive people. Some folks look as if they work out everyday of their lives and put the rest of us to shame. Many of the really fit folks at the pool don't even notice if people glance at them with a twinge of jealousy. However, there is one guy that lives for the attention: Overly Confident Conner.

Overly Confident Conner can bench press about a million pounds. He works out for hours everyday at the gym. He drinks raw eggs for some reason. This dude is buff and he knows it. Most of all, he wants you to notice him, too.

Overly Confident Conner flexes his arm when he puts on lotion. He likes to jog around the pool as if he is doing laps. On rare occasions, he might not even mind messing up his hair and you can get a real treat as he swims in the pool. Oh, look at him show off those muscles. It is OK to look; trust me, he does not mind at all.


Nearly Naked Nellie

For every modest gal at the pool, there is usually a girl that is quite the opposite. Nearly Naked Nellie enjoys showing off at the pool. She is wearing a string bikini top and a thong for a bikini bottom. She does not mind bending over so everyone can see what she has to offer. With an attitude like that, she is bound to make some new pool friends.

What is interesting about Nearly Naked Nellie is size does not matter. You might assume she is going to be the thinnest girl at the pool, but that is usually wrong. Nearly Naked Nellie is just proud to show off... sometimes there is an awful lot to show off, too.

Sunscreen Sandy

Sunscreen Sandy is the lady at the pool that almost sucks all of the fun out of going to the pool. Sunscreen Sandy is super, ultra-paranoid about getting skin cancer. Yes, it is a great idea to be concerned for one's health. Sure, it is a nice idea to be concerned for those around you. But Sunscreen Sandy takes it a little too far.

Sunscreen Sandy starts lathering the sunscreen all over her body long before she even makes it the pool. Once she gets there, the sunscreen spray is also applied. Then she insists on spraying down everyone around her. Sunscreen Sandy usually likes SPF 75 or higher whenever she can get it. She has not experienced a sunburn since 1975. She is also not interested in allowing anyone else to even get the slightest shade darker either.

Sunscreen Sandy has the best of intentions, but sometimes being concerned for everyone's health turns into paranoia. Applying the sunscreen every 30 minutes is probably a bit too much for anyone. Spraying people she doesn't even know with sunscreen, well that is definitely too much.

Crispy Kristen

Crispy Kristen is a real sweetheart, but that girl has been out in the sun way too long. She is the opposite of Sunscreen Sandy. Crispy Kristen hates sunscreen. Every now and then, she will apply sunscreen because those around her insist that she do so, but she is not going to use anything more than SPF 15.

Crispy Kristen has gotten so tan, she can't even be classified as tan. Instead, much like overcooked bacon, she has earned the term "crispy" in her name. Crispy Kristen apparently barely works or has a night job just so she can pursue her dream of being the darkest person at the pool. She never misses a day at the pool and can be seen mourning if there are storm clouds in the sky. Poor Crispy Kristen! She might need to seek some help.


Swimming Sweeney

Swimming Sweeney is the most enthusiastic swimmer at the pool. He is so enthusiastic, he forgets he is at a public pool and swims as if no one else is there.

Of course, it is wonderful to be a great swimmer. It is another thing to bump into other people at the pool because Swimming Sweeney is swimming without any regard for anyone else. It is also quite annoying when Swimming Sweeney decides to swim underwater right below you and pop up with warning. This is especially the case if you happen to be floating around in the pool and you get knocked over in the process.

Cell Phone Cindy

In all honesty, you will see Cell Phone Cindy just about anywhere you go, but she is especially annoying at the pool. You are just sitting there, soaking up the sun, peacefully minding your own business, but your happy pool zone is ruined by Cell Phone Cindy.

Cell Phone Cindy needs to call her babysitter to pick up her kids later in the day, complain to her mother about work, talk to her ex about her current boyfriend, and talk to her current boyfriend about her ex. The drama is just never-ending and you are going to hear every word of it, like it or not.

Pool People Poll

Can you relate to anyone on this list?

See results

Even More Characters

I am sure many of you can think of other pool characters you frequently see at the pool, like Old Timer Tim and I Can't Believe You Managed to Squeeze Into that Bikini Bertha, but who has time for all that in just one hub? For now, you can enjoy these lovely characters both in this hub and in person the next time you visit the pool.

If you are one of the people on this list, congratulations... sort of. We are all interesting characters at times. For instance, I happened to be Rashy Jeannie this past weekend at the pool, but I swear, they were just mosquito bites! So don't feel too bad if you are on this list and have fun at the pool!

Copyright ©2013 Jeannieinabottle


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  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Oh yes, the water parks always have the most "interesting" people you can watch. Thanks for checking out my hub!

  • Brian Prickril profile image

    Brian Prickril 4 years ago from Savannah, GA

    Hilarious! You're such a good writer. I recently moved to the southeast coast. You would think that living near the beach would be a good reason to watch your diet and exercise, but that is definitely not the case. And water parks are the best! It's like being in a giant orgy with fat, hairy guys in speedos and lots of Nearly Naked Nellies. Thanks for the laugh!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Oh wow, that sounds really gross. It sounds like you were forced into some awkward conversations. I always thought the worst part of being a lifeguard would be having to watch swimmers so closely, but there sounds like there are much worse things to contend with! Thanks for sharing!

  • Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

    Glimmer Twin Fan 4 years ago

    I was a lifeguard/pool manager through high school and college and let me tell you that I have seen it all. The worst was a man (rashy randy) whose wife would pop his zits in the pool and then rinse his back in the pool water. Ugh.....Since I was the manager I always had the dubious honor of telling him to cut it out. There were also many amorous couples over the years. I guess they thought people could not see through the water, but were quickly embarrassed when I had to remind them that I could.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Haha... don't worry. 90% of the people at public pools are totally normal. The public pool can be fun. Thanks for the votes!

  • alocsin profile image

    alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA

    I've never been to a public pool and while your descriptions are amusing, I'm not sure that they want make ever to visit one, LOL. Voting this Up and Funny.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thanks so much! Most of the time, it is amusing to watch the people roaming around at the pool; every now and then, it is a little scary though.

  • Mike Robbers profile image

    Mike Robbers 4 years ago from London

    Funny hub and a read that I really enjoyed. I have been to public pools occasionally and I can say that the personae in your hub are quite true!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    healthylife2 - Oh, I did not realize the spray sunscreen was not as good for you. Thanks for letting me know... I don't use it personally, but I know others that do. Honestly, sometimes I am trying to be the "crispy" girl at the pool. I am naturally pale and freckly though, so I basically just burn.

    elayne001 - Oh yes, I know what you mean about water parks. Water parks, boardwalks, and amusement parks usually are the best places for people watching. I think people that have not left their house in a long time crawl out just to go to places like that with the rest of us. The sores and fungus issue at the park sounds pretty gross. I've noticed that type of thing, too... I probably watch people for too long as well. :-) Thank you for your comment.

    sheilamyers - It sounds like the public pool has not changed too much. I never got to go as a kid, but I go now at motels, hotels, and my apartment building. Telling kids there are sharks in the water... well, that just might clear the pool at my place when the kids are too annoying. Hmmm... thanks for the idea!

    drbj - You just are not going to the right public pool then! Half of the joy of going to the pool is the people watching. ;-) Sometimes I don't even get in the water.

    randomcreative - Thanks so much! I have learned that lesson the hard way at many pools.

    lambservant - I become more paranoid about germs each year. The only thing that comforts me is knowing there is a ton of chlorine in that pool and no germs are making it out alive. I just take a towel with me wherever I go to sit. Thanks for checking out my hub!

    europewalker - Thank you! I am happy I am not the only one seeing these characters at the pool. ;-)

    Thanks everyone for the comments and for checking out my hub!

  • europewalker profile image

    europewalker 4 years ago

    Very entertaining hub. These characters are very familiar. I've seen them all at one time or another!

  • lambservant profile image

    Lori Colbo 4 years ago from Pacific Northwest

    I never got to public pools anymore. I have become a germ a phobe. People can be just downright rude and disgusting. You nailed pool personalities very well.

    The older kids 10 - 13 can be very obnoxious especially if they are a mixed gender group. Loud, raucous, cannon-balling, nipple twisting, get the picture. Little kids pee in the pool too. I'd rather soak in a hot tub at a friends house or swim in a fresh water lake where few people ever swim.

  • randomcreative profile image

    Rose Clearfield 4 years ago from Milwaukee, Wisconsin

    "Typically the person that should be wearing the most clothes is wearing the least amount of clothes." So true! Well done as always.

  • drbj profile image

    drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

    I confess, Jeannie, I'm a dedicated people-watcher, too, but my pool is not one-tenth as interesting as the public pool you describe. Love those descriptions especially Bikini Bertha. We do have one of those. :)

  • profile image

    sheilamyers 4 years ago

    Thanks for the laugh even though I know these people really exist. I haven't been to a public pool (or any pool) in years, but as a kid the pool was like a second home in the summer. Back then we didn't have cell phones, but all of the other people you mentioned were at one time or another. One of the other people I remember was the older kids who were always trying to scare the little ones by telling them stuff like there are sharks in the pool. You can think of a name for them.

  • elayne001 profile image

    Elayne 4 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Very creative and true. We recently took our grandchildren to Wet and Wild here in Hawaii. We were seated next to a family who was very interesting. They were all very overweight - the father slept the whole time, the mother read and the daughter was too scared to get in by herself. Not sure why they would pay so much to just sit and watch everyone else have fun in the water. They could have done that at home, but perhaps they just wanted to get out in the sun. I watched a bit too long myself, and noticed people with fungus toenails, weeping sores and other nasties that made me think twice about going there again. The check your bags at the entrance to make sure you do not bring any food or drink in (so you can pay the exorbitant prices for theirs), but they should be more careful to check health hazards that walk through the doors, in my opinion. Good article.

  • healthylife2 profile image

    Healthy Life 4 years ago from Connecticut, USA

    Thanks for the laugh! I take my kids to the pool in our town and think I have encountered most of those people. I have to admit to being sunscreen Sandy at times but take it to an even greater extreme and don't use the spray version because it is more harmful...other than that I try to blend in and entertain myself watching all those people described in this hub.Voted up!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    peachpurple - Some of our pools are pretty nice, but others are small, shallow, and the water is an unusual color. The nicer hotels and apartment buildings tend to have the best pools. Thanks for checking out my hub.

    jericho911 - Thanks so much!

  • jericho911 profile image

    Kenneth Claude 4 years ago from Parts Unknown

    Funny hub !

  • peachpurple profile image

    peachy 4 years ago from Home Sweet Home

    wow! There are so many public pool in your state. In Malaysia, we have public poll according to the community centres. Majority are small pools, hardly enough to make an olympic pool.