The People You See at a Public Pool

Ah, the public pool! It is a fun place many of us go to cool off during the summer. Perhaps you belong to a gym with a pool or maybe you live in an apartment with a resident pool. You might even just opt to take a dip the next time you are at a motel with a pool that looks like it was cleaned in the last year or so. It really does not matter where you go, the public pool can be plenty of fun.

At the same time, part of the joy of the public pool is not just swimming. If you like to people watch, the good times await you at the public pool. I daresay the public pool is one of the best places to watch for interesting people. Let's discuss some of the characters you might just meet while at the public pool.

Rashy Randy is not at every public pool, but he shows up at enough pools to deserve some recognition. Rashy Randy looks as if he just rolled around in poison ivy or he mistakenly stepped into a swarm of mosquitoes. No matter what happened to Randy, he has a rash. Sure, he should have probably stayed home and applied some Calamine lotion, but Randy is not going to let a little rash ruin his good time.

In general, 9 times out of 10 Rashy Randy is not even contagious. Considering how much chlorine is in the pool, you won't have any issues there. I would, however, recommend taking a towel with you to place on any chair you are going to sit on. You might not see Rashy Randy while you are at the pool, but maybe he left 5 minutes before you got there... and sat in the very chair where you were about to put your nearly naked butt. Put a towel down!

At just about any pool, there is someone who is really modest. Not only does she have a full swimsuit on, she is also wearing a t-shirt, shorts, and shoes, too. The interesting thing about Modest Mindy is she is usually not the worst looking person at the pool. No, typically the person that should be wearing the most clothes is wearing the least amount of clothes.

Modest Mindy is just simply uncomfortable at the pool. But perhaps she should be considering how much some folks stare at people, which brings me to my next pool character...

At every pool, there is at least one creepy person. That person usually just sits on a chair or beach blanket, and stares at everyone else as if he (or she) has never seen a person in a bathing suit before. What is most unsettling is Creepy Chris does not take a hint. Staring back at Creepy Chris does not make him turn away in shame like a normal person. Oh no. He takes that as a sign that he has a new friend.

What I am trying to tell you is avoid all eye contact with Creepy Chris! There is no teaching this guy a lesson. He is creepy and he knows it. He does not care! He is there to get an eyeful and no one is going to stop him. If you look at him for too long, he is going to come over to engage you in conversation, and trust me, that is not what you want.

Kids sure love to play at the pool. Some kids are natural born swimmers, and others prefer to put some arm floats on and have a blast at the pool. All of this is absolutely great until the children get out of hand. Leaping into the deep end, pushing other kids in the pool, or splashing water in everyone's eyes are all activities a parent should reprimand a child for doing. Of course, that means the parents have to be somewhere in sight.

At just about any pool, you will find Forgotten Frankie and Farrah. They are just a couple of kids under 10 years old and there is no adult supervision. For some reason, some parents think the lifeguard is supposed to babysit their kids. The lifeguard is not a babysitter and is trying to... well... guard lives, as the name suggests. He or she does not have the time to give a kid a time out for nearly drowning his baby sister, yet there is no one else to do it either. Poor Forgotten Frankie and Farrah. I hope their future foster parents are nice.

At any pool, there are going to be some attractive people. Some folks look as if they work out everyday of their lives and put the rest of us to shame. Many of the really fit folks at the pool don't even notice if people glance at them with a twinge of jealousy. However, there is one guy that lives for the attention: Overly Confident Conner.

Overly Confident Conner can bench press about a million pounds. He works out for hours everyday at the gym. He drinks raw eggs for some reason. This dude is buff and he knows it. Most of all, he wants you to notice him, too.

Overly Confident Conner flexes his arm when he puts on lotion. He likes to jog around the pool as if he is doing laps. On rare occasions, he might not even mind messing up his hair and you can get a real treat as he swims in the pool. Oh, look at him show off those muscles. It is OK to look; trust me, he does not mind at all.

For every modest gal at the pool, there is usually a girl that is quite the opposite. Nearly Naked Nellie enjoys showing off at the pool. She is wearing a string bikini top and a thong for a bikini bottom. She does not mind bending over so everyone can see what she has to offer. With an attitude like that, she is bound to make some new pool friends.

What is interesting about Nearly Naked Nellie is size does not matter. You might assume she is going to be the thinnest girl at the pool, but that is usually wrong. Nearly Naked Nellie is just proud to show off... sometimes there is an awful lot to show off, too.

Sunscreen Sandy is the lady at the pool that almost sucks all of the fun out of going to the pool. Sunscreen Sandy is super, ultra-paranoid about getting skin cancer. Yes, it is a great idea to be concerned for one's health. Sure, it is a nice idea to be concerned for those around you. But Sunscreen Sandy takes it a little too far.

Sunscreen Sandy starts lathering the sunscreen all over her body long before she even makes it the pool. Once she gets there, the sunscreen spray is also applied. Then she insists on spraying down everyone around her. Sunscreen Sandy usually likes SPF 75 or higher whenever she can get it. She has not experienced a sunburn since 1975. She is also not interested in allowing anyone else to even get the slightest shade darker either.

Sunscreen Sandy has the best of intentions, but sometimes being concerned for everyone's health turns into paranoia. Applying the sunscreen every 30 minutes is probably a bit too much for anyone. Spraying people she doesn't even know with sunscreen, well that is definitely too much.

Crispy Kristen is a real sweetheart, but that girl has been out in the sun way too long. She is the opposite of Sunscreen Sandy. Crispy Kristen hates sunscreen. Every now and then, she will apply sunscreen because those around her insist that she do so, but she is not going to use anything more than SPF 15.

Crispy Kristen has gotten so tan, she can't even be classified as tan. Instead, much like overcooked bacon, she has earned the term "crispy" in her name. Crispy Kristen apparently barely works or has a night job just so she can pursue her dream of being the darkest person at the pool. She never misses a day at the pool and can be seen mourning if there are storm clouds in the sky. Poor Crispy Kristen! She might need to seek some help.

Swimming Sweeney is the most enthusiastic swimmer at the pool. He is so enthusiastic, he forgets he is at a public pool and swims as if no one else is there.

Of course, it is wonderful to be a great swimmer. It is another thing to bump into other people at the pool because Swimming Sweeney is swimming without any regard for anyone else. It is also quite annoying when Swimming Sweeney decides to swim underwater right below you and pop up with warning. This is especially the case if you happen to be floating around in the pool and you get knocked over in the process.

In all honesty, you will see Cell Phone Cindy just about anywhere you go, but she is especially annoying at the pool. You are just sitting there, soaking up the sun, peacefully minding your own business, but your happy pool zone is ruined by Cell Phone Cindy.

Cell Phone Cindy needs to call her babysitter to pick up her kids later in the day, complain to her mother about work, talk to her ex about her current boyfriend, and talk to her current boyfriend about her ex. The drama is just never-ending and you are going to hear every word of it, like it or not.

I am sure many of you can think of other pool characters you frequently see at the pool, like Old Timer Tim and I Can't Believe You Managed to Squeeze Into that Bikini Bertha, but who has time for all that in just one hub? For now, you can enjoy these lovely characters both in this hub and in person the next time you visit the pool.

If you are one of the people on this list, congratulations... sort of. We are all interesting characters at times. For instance, I happened to be Rashy Jeannie this past weekend at the pool, but I swear, they were just mosquito bites! So don't feel too bad if you are on this list and have fun at the pool!

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