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The Daily Weird #7 (Arrested for chess?)

Updated on November 30, 2010
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Play Chess at Your Own Risk

In Massachusetts they call poop flinging “assault with a deadly weapon”, but in New York, they know better. New York city police are all too aware that the dangers plaguing our society begin with the evil game of Chess.

In an upper Manhattan park the scene was one out of a movie. The police, in bulletproof vests, swarmed in to take down the seven-man gang… of chess players.

To be fair, these guys had kings, queens, bishops and a couple of knights on their side, plus, of course, hoards of pawns. A scary group to be sure.

The police are sticking by their actions pointing out that the signs on the fence of the enclosed park clearly said “No adults unless accompanied by a child 12 or under”.

While the men had been at the park many times before, and cleared it with the local park ranger; the day of the arrest, there were no children present. The park ranger had told the men it was fine for them to meet to play chess at this park, and even to give lessons to some of the kids, that the sign was posted to keep out pedophiles.

This clearly means that, since there were no children at the park on the day of their arrest, these men were obviously pedophiles. Makes all kinds of sense.

Thank you, New York. When it comes to weird, you never fail to deliver.

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    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Chris... She-Who-Is-Adored is a very patient, kind woman. You are a complete mess. (That's "southern" for hysterically funny)

      Jane- It's also a well-known fact that people care more about chess-menaces when they've had a little poop thrown their way first. Thank you for noticing. :)

    • Jane Bovary profile image

      Jane Bovary 

      7 years ago from The Fatal Shore

      Haha...Sue, that's hilarious, as well as completely crazy. Still, it's a well-known fact that chess players are a menace to society.

      (I noticed you managed to subtly get some poop in. Well done)

    • ChrisLincoln profile image

      ChrisLincoln 

      7 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

      Sue,

      Remember that no matter how bad things get, you have a constitutionally enshrined right to write about it. No truer freedom exists. Is this a great country or what!

      (I wrote that because I think there are some men wearing dark suits, outside my house in a van that says Cox Cable. I know they are monitoring my emails because everytime I get one, I hear this little 'ping' sound. Fortunately my paranoia keeps the neuroses at bay. Oh, now they are out of the van and messing with the cable box in their clever overalls that hide the suits. Can't fool me though, I'm on to them. I'll slip out the back way and go play chess in the park...)

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Mercredi-thanks for your comment.

      You are so right. I think it's getting worse by the day... makes me neurotic thinking about it. :)

    • Mercredi profile image

      Mercredi 

      7 years ago

      Wow. That's certainly a lesson from a neurotic society.

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