The Longest Facebook Status I Ever Wrote

Originally Written on Monday, May 2, 2011 at 11:04 PM

Tonight was an interesting evening. After a frustrating delay of about half an hour, the IMAX theater finally got to screening Fast Five, which, to my surprise, was a lot better than I expected. However, I don't think the entertaining quality of this movie is to the credit of IMAX. Rave Motion Pictures and IMAX both stand behind the assertion that IMAX is the most immersively immersive experience of immersiveness in the world due to high quality sound and imagery and an enormous screen, all of an immersive quality. That's a load of immersive elephant diarrhea. IMAX, at least in the case of Rave's IMAX, just ramps up the volume to a nearly uncomfortable level (an M&M I dropped on the floor was actually vibrating across the floor at one point). The image, upon comparison with the image of a traditional screen, is only a little bit more detailed. It's kind of like taking a picture of a great landscape and, although the picture was already great due to the content of the photograph, enhancing it with iPhoto. Sure, it's a little more detailed, but it doesn't add anything significant to the actual photograph. And, although the picture is bigger with the multi-story screen, that shouldn't be what makes the movie great. The MOVIE should be what makes a moviegoing experience the best moviegoing experience in the world for whoever watches it, not the technology that brings the movie to the silver screen. I enjoyedFast Five, but not because it was in IMAX. I liked it because it was a proficiently made and highly entertaining film. So, when Rave Motion Pictures implores you to give in to paying an immersively outrageous fee so you can see an IMAX movie, just say no. Immersively. With the money you spend on one IMAX ticket, you can just about pay for two tickets to see a movie in the traditional, God-intended format: unadulterated 2D in all its hallowed purity.