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The Raven: A poem about the film about the poem

Updated on December 5, 2014
Edgar Allan Poe (John Cusack) © FilmNation/Relativity Media
Edgar Allan Poe (John Cusack) © FilmNation/Relativity Media

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary
Over how bad The Raven could be, and if it would leave my eyes sore.
After renting it and watching, suddenly in my mind there came a tapping
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my brain door.
“This isn’t as bad as I expected” I muttered, “but it’s still a bit of a bore”
“Only this, and nothing more”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was James McTeigue who directed,
Danny Ruhlmann’s cinematography that cast lights, shadows on the floor.
Eagerly I wished the film would’ve been better, and not as hollow.
From John Cusack’s miscast role – he did good, but could’ve done more;
To the script that could’ve glowed, and could’ve soared,
But it was just there, nothing more.

Then a supporting cast that was solid, they delivered with their acting
By Luke Evans and Brendan Gleeson, although they could’ve done more
Though their roles were stuck and underdeveloped, I said at least it’s a haven
In a film that brought little thrill, could’ve been so much more
Tell me why with such a great source, it could’ve been easy to score
But The Raven? Nevermore.

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing,
On the climax and the ending, could’ve taken the film to the next shore;
On the killer’s motivations and identity, that could’ve used some more refining
On the resolution that the film tried to rest o’er,
But whose contrivances where so weak to look over
'Tis just a C and nothing more.

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    • Thief12 profile image

      Thief12 2 years ago from Puerto Rico

      Thanks! Glad you noticed this little Hub, hehe.

    • Mitch Charman profile image

      Mitchell Charman 2 years ago from Western Australia

      You, sir, have made my week. This is absolutely fantastic! Words cannot describe how awesome this is.

    • Thief12 profile image

      Thief12 4 years ago from Puerto Rico

      Haha! Bravo to you too, Bernie :-D

    • BernietheMovieGuy profile image

      Bernie Ment 4 years ago from Syracuse, NY

      Now that is original! I like the tattered web you wove, as you described this film, by jove. I agree with all your points, good sir. I wouldn't subject this film to a cur. But alas it did alight on screen, and most critics to it were mean. But deservedly so, it was destined to be, so fewer people would waste their money to see. Thank you for this! Voted up! (Please, forgive the horrible poem, but I couldn't resist...)

    • IslandBites profile image

      IslandBites 4 years ago from Puerto Rico

      Hahaha, really funny.