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Vladimir Putin, The World's Sexiest Russian

Updated on October 13, 2009

Vladikins...

Technology keeps me in touch...

This is what happens when you don't clean under the rim...

I'm several months late on this story, and it's dreadfully disappointing. Why wasn't I informed when Vladimir Putin took his shirt off and became Russia's hottest topless model? My hot line to the Kremlin obviously needs some work. Maybe it's time to replace the string with twine? I don't know, I'm not a fancy technician.

World leaders are all very well. But what do they do when they're not in invading countries, gassing their own populations, putting down rebellions, getting it on with their staff, and choking on snack foods?

(Soon to be Ex) Russian President Vladimir Putin likes to get topless for cameras in his spare time. Vladimir cut a spiffing figure when he stripped down to his fishing pants and proudly held his large rod on display. There aren't many men in their mid 50's who would cut such a dashing and virile figure, but years of exerting an iron grip on Russia has left Vladimir rather trim about the bicep region. Vladimir also recommends Judo, and cracking down on Oligarchs as a means of staying in good shape.

A strong proponent of justice and being a law abiding citizen, Putin had this lesson to impart on the subject of obeying the laws even when through some unfortunate technical glitch, Big Brother is not able to watch you: "You must obey the law, always, not only when they grab you by your special place."

Speaking of special places, Putin doesn't mess around when it comes to combating terrorism either, and announced this warning to terrorists: "We'll follow terrorists everywhere. We will corner the bandits in the toilet and wipe them out." So that's where they've been hiding all this time! Refer to the illustration to your right if you are confused by what this quote meant. It recommended that if you encounter terrorists in your toilet that you do not attempt to wipe them out yourself, though a second flush may help the situation.

And Vladimir? As long as he brings along his rod and tackle, he can grab me by my special place anytime. (Admit it, you feel the same way.)

Comments

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    • serpav profile image

      serpav 

      7 years ago

      The phrase "(Soon to be Ex) Russian President Vladimir Putin" needs to be revised :) He is almost in the office again

    • moncrieff profile image

      moncrieff 

      7 years ago from New York, NY

      Funny stuff. Be careful, he'll be back soon.

    • profile image

      lucky 

      9 years ago

      the most sexy and handsome man!! My dream!!

    • Maylinda Arons profile image

      Maylinda Arons 

      10 years ago

      Holy crap! So THAT'S who was poking me in the butt...!!! Well, I'll be.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 

      10 years ago

      MMMMMMMMMMMM,,,,I haven't died :)

      Thanks for sharing this story!

    • annemaeve profile image

      annemaeve 

      10 years ago from Philly Burbs

      Hope, you totally have a point with the Putin obsession. There's just something about an older, balding man with a powerful presense... my two favorites are Dave Matthews (artsy-yum) and Jason Statham (triple-hot-driving-a-car-yum!). Thanks for helping me add to the ranks of interest!

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      10 years ago

      No? Really? Where? No, don't tell me, I doubt I could handle it...

    • fishskinfreak2008 profile image

      fishskinfreak2008 

      10 years ago from Fremont CA

      I've seen sexier people than that

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      10 years ago

      I just added a video which is worth a look, the funny thing is, I started this Hub all tongue in cheek, but damn it if the guy hasn't grown on me and if I haven't spent the last hour or so looking him up places. The man is hotness. Unfortunately he's easily old enough to be my father, but eh, what can one do?

    • Princessa profile image

      Wendy Iturrizaga 

      10 years ago from France

      Looking hot mmmm.... I must admit I do prefer them younger, but this is not bad at all ;-)

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      10 years ago

      Maybe Putin could run for President in the USA, it seems like such a pity for him to dissapear from the global stage now that he's just started really showing the world what he's made of.

    • Inspirepub profile image

      Inspirepub 

      10 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      ROFLMAO!

      Yeah, not bad for 50+, I suppose ... I'm told that blue stuff keeps the terrorists out of the toilet. Certainly my mother uses it, and I have never once seen a terrorist in her toilet ...

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