The Wrong People Are Famous: Justin Bieber
So who is this kid anyway?
Don't pretend like you don't know this already. The biebs is a worldwide popular icon that cannot be avoided by even the most isolated social recluse. Try as we might to avoid the inevitable, this kid seems to permeate our culture like a metastasized pathogen. We cannot turn on our televisions or internets without at least a slight threat of being bombarded by obsessive references to his substandard music or atrocious decision making process.
Why is he so famous?
Bieber got his start making YouTube videos and sending them out to the ravenous masses that graze the internet's most atrocious content. Discovered by the insidious troll Scooter Braun, Justin soon found himself making collabs with the also shockingly famous Usher. The two soon found themselves making horrible sounds together.
For some reason, the population became helplessly enamored with this unsubstantial drivel. A star was born. The young icon has since plagued the Billboard Hot 100 constantly, making it increasingly difficult for actual musicians to gain traction in this exponentially pointless marketplace. Comedy Central has even recently hopped on board the Bieber train, granting his very own Roast, which was actually pretty funny.
Why is this such a bad thing?
Besides being incessantly annoying, the fact that this kid is so influential is actually harmful to the course of humanity. Not only is he beloved by millions of easily manipulated dumb people, he is also a highly polarizing agent in our society. His music and videos do receive an unexplainable amount of positive praise, but they are also among the most hated pieces of content on the entire internet.
The fact that this stuff brings so much displeasure to so many should be enough to dissuade this phenomenon, but it persists. This kid is worth a staggering $200 Million. That amount of money could be employed to do immeasurable good in the world, but no. Instead, it sits in his bank account, waiting idle until the day he decides to buy another Lamborghini, a confused spider monkey, or some other horrible purchase. This money could be used to further cancer research, feed the hungry, clothe the poor, or be used to combat any one of a vast array of humanity's problems. This could be the case, but no, he has apparently earned it by screaming baby, baby, baby, over and over again.
Not only is this a gigantic waste of our country's monetary resources, he is also an exceptionally poor role model. I do not know why adult humans allow their kids to look up to this example, when his life decisions would otherwise be looked down on in our society. If he wan't famous, that is. Here is a short list of his indiscretions: assaulting a limousine driver, drunk driving, vandalizing a hotel, drinking sizzurp, hiring strippers, all of those stupid tattoos, fighting paparazzi, hindering women's reproductive rights, oh and making terrible music. When he isn't doing one of these horrifically counterproductive things, his only apparently redeeming quality is having the uncanny ability to piggyback on the success of existing celebrities.
Who should we look up to instead?
I nostalgically look back to the days when our childhood idols actually made meaningful contributions to society and science. The most prominent example that is oozing out of my brain right now is the indiscriminately lovable Bill Nye the Science Guy. Bill has made a conscious effort to utilize his armory of fame in an attempt to improve the conditions of the world every single day he breathes air on this planet.
Not only was he the host of a program dedicated to disseminating science and reason throughout the entirety of humanity, he remains a contributor to the bettering of society to this day. In his latest book, Undeniable, Bill takes on evolution deniers in a widely accessible and entertaining format. This book seeks to reverse the damage done by thousands of years of scientific repression and harmful ideology.
His next venture, I think it's going to be called Undebatable, Bill is going to be challenging climate deniers who are trying to convince people that global warming is a hoax. These people have set back proactive environmental action decades. Nye is also the CEO of the Planetary Society, the most successful non-profit promoting space exploration and scientific advancement. If that weren't enough, he even finds time to co-host the critically acclaimed podcast Startalk with Neil deGrasse Tyson.
We, as a society, would benefit greatly if we focused our energy on the people who are actually attempting to improve our condition on this pale blue dot, so please, redirect your admiration accordingly.
