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The curse of the Automatic Content Filters

Updated on May 12, 2011
A nice pussy
A nice pussy
An awesome cock
An awesome cock
Showing my ass
Showing my ass
I love faggots
I love faggots
Fanny in the kitchen
Fanny in the kitchen
A load of balls
A load of balls
erm.... not all footballers are the same!
erm.... not all footballers are the same!

Advertising disabled

This will be my second hub to have the advertising features disabled because of the language I am using. In fairness, the first one was about adverts for Penis enhancement, but it opened my eyes to the ludicrous censorship that exists on this, and other sites, based solely on semantics. Others have made the point that policing the website to ensure that highly unsavoury or offensive remarks are eliminated, and I agree whole-heartedly with such a policy, IF it is carried out by REAL HUMAN BEINGS who can discern the difference between a cock (slang for the male appendage) and a cock (rooster, or male of most bird species).

The images used in this hub are there to make a point. If you bare in mind that my neighbour has a prize winning manx cat that she frequently enters for cat shows, there's nothing remotely offensive about me saying that "Mrs Greenbaum likes to show off her pussy. It's a beautiful pussy, and very well looked after. When I called at her house the other day, she had just bathed it, and was preparing it for examination by a judge. She allowed me to stoke it. Such a lovely pussy."

Equally, Farmer Jones might innocently be very proud of having the biggest cock in the neighbourhood. It's not unrealistic to remark that it arouses the whole neighbourhood.

Is there anything about my ass that you find offensive? Look at it. Pretty, isn't it? Perhaps you'd like a ride on my ass? You wouldn't be the first. Which brings me to faggots!

After a pleasant afternoon of riding my ass along the beach, there's nothing I like better than faggots! Nothing whets my apetite more than a faggot covered in a thick beef gravy with onions. Nothing wrong with that, is there? Have you ever tried faggots? They're delicious. Not to be confused with fags, though. Fags aren't good for you. Sadly, I'm still trying to give them up, but they are so addictive. I wonder how the word 'fag' became a slang word for a cigarette. Just as much as I wonder how 'faggot' became a slang name for men of an effeminate or homosexual nature. Whatever. It's only a word!

Fanny Craddock was a television cook, long before Delia Smyth and all the present day chef celebrities. I remember watching her when I was a child. There was nothing at all wrong with Fanny being on the box. Of course, in America, fanny refers to your bottom, bum, rear-end, but the term has quite a different meaning on this side of the Atlantic. But in a more innocent era, watching Fanny working with meat and two veg in the kitchen was a perfectly respectable way to spend the afternoon.

Basically, what I'm getting at is that all this automated censorship is nothing more than a great load of balls, like the colourful ones displayed on the right. Balls are things that everyone likes to play with. Even at an early age, we seem to have a fascination with playing with our balls. My sister played with mine. She was quite a capable footballer in her youth.

I once held a Policeman's ball, and he certainly didn't object. In fact, the event raised quite a sum of money for the local police station. They've held several balls since then.

I'm even having a ball now, writing this ridiculous hub, but I believe my points are salient. Automated censorship is inaccurate, misleading and wholly unsatisfactory. And besides, what the hell is wrong with polite conversation about penises, vaginas, homosexuals and testicles?

Let's just be glad we're not talking about German footballers.... now THAT would be offensive!!!


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    • Gina Coole profile image

      Gina Coole 6 years ago from London

      What is really annoying I remove a word or two and the filter is 'happy' then a day or two later it kicks in again.

      I'm never sure exactly what it objects too. Try writing about a bra without mentioning breast or nipple. Even the word 'sexy' seems to trigger it! Thanks for airing your thoughts on this irritating censorship!

    • d.william profile image

      d.william 6 years ago from Somewhere in the south

      This is very funny, and an excellent example of the ludicrousness of censorship at all (or at least automatic censorship). Your point is excellent. Whoever programmed the words that are automatically flagged probably does not know that most words in our language have 2 or more totally different meanings, depending on the context in which they are used. Or, if they do, there is no way of explaining this to a machine.

      I just published an article on this very subject, or the lack of it. I received a forwarded message from hub pages that was frightening, offensive and totally bizarre. And they did forward it to me. So i wrote them (hub pages) an email with the complaint that they should not have forwarded this thing to me or anyone else. Their response was that "they have now blocked this user, and unfortunately spammers do get through". And yet they have disabled 3 of MY articles from advertisements for using words far less offensive.

    • Thatguypk profile image

      Thatguypk 7 years ago

      Thank you, Dirt Farmer.

      Mary Ann, I couldn't agree more.

    • profile image

      THAT Mary Ann 7 years ago

      I'm with you on the automated censorship issue...arbitrary and filled with room for error. The definitions of what is "offensive" are probably as numerous as the number or registered hubbers. I see lots of hubs that have nothing to do with body parts or sexual gymnastics that are more offensive than those issues can ever be. Forget about donkeys and soccer players, hubs that are racist, fascist, misogynistic and the like may slip by the robo-censor quite easily it seems- AND be sponsored by advertisers!

    • profile image

      The Dirt Farmer 7 years ago

      Very funny! A very clever and entertaining way to prove your point: "censorship that exists on this, and other sites, based solely on semantics" is absolutely ridiculous and, I might add, ineffective.

    • Thatguypk profile image

      Thatguypk 7 years ago

      Balls indeed, christopher.... and thank you yet again, Fay!

    • profile image

      Fay Paxton 7 years ago

      Up and fantastically funny! Down with censorship!

    • christopheranton profile image

      Christopher Antony Meade 7 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

      I've fallen foul of the same silly rules. The annoying thing is that the search engines love those terms.

      It is all just a load of balls.

    • SteveMacken profile image

      SteveMacken 7 years ago from Galway, Ireland.

      Effing brilliant... :-)

      Up and Funny.


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