ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Britney, Paris, Lindsay, Love/Spit Chain

Updated on October 12, 2009

The happy couple...

The evil couple...

There's nothing more delightful than dating the ex boyfriends of your enemies. Paris, Britney and Lindsay seem to do it often enough, so often that I am starting to think that they do it in some sort of bizarre voodoo fashion. I recall reading somewhere that in some tribal cultures it is said you can absorb the strength of your enemy if you consume his heart.

Perhaps these girls are working on a similar theory. They certainly do seem to be growing more alike than not, the once sweet Britney getting her panty flash on, Lindsay going from teen actress wonder to sex super star, and Paris, well, would we really notice if Paris picked up anymore vices or foibles, probably not.

Still this is all speculation, let's look at the cold hard facts.

Joe Francis (Paris, Lindsay)

First there was Joe, possibly the epitome in bad taste love affairs. As the creator of the Girls Gone Wild series he clearly respects women and their earning potential. Lindsay picked him up as Paris' sloppy seconds. Charming.

K-Fed (Britney, Lindsay?, Paris?)

Notable only for his destructive relationship with Britney Spears who somehow went entirely insane during the course of their relationship, rumors flew shortly after their break up that Lindsay was seeing him, followed by Paris hanging out with him at club Tao. I personally wouldn't put it past Paris to get her hands on KFed, not so much as a love interest but more like the sexual equivalent of visiting a freak sow.

Brandon Davis (Paris, Lindsay, Britney)

Brandon was reported to have dated Lindsay but went on a rant about how disgusting her genitalia is and how poor she is because she only has 7 million. He also did Paris but had no complaints there apparently. Britney then started hanging out with him, though to be honest at that stage I think she was barely able to differentiate between people and inanimate objects.

Apparently none of the girls noticed how fat and gross he is, kind of a big oversight, possibly caused by his overwhelmingly obnoxious personality that blocks out the senses' ability to gather further information.

JR Rotem (Britney, Lindsay, Paris)

A producer who was responsible for some of the horror that was Paris Hilton's attempted music career. Did she sleep with him to get him to drop his professional standards? Maybe. He also dated Britney for a short time after her break up with Kevin Federline, and completed the trifecta by being linked to Lindsay.

Men, beware, it might seem like an achievement to nail all these ladies, but I'm pretty sure it ends up with you lying in a ditch somewhere minus your soul. Of this bunch only K-Fed is still bouncing around happily, and he probably didn't do Lindsay or Paris.

First there was Paris...

Then there was Lindsay...

And a few months later...


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image


      8 years ago, absolutely no proof that Britney ever bothered hanging around this greasy fuck Brandon Davis. Your lack of professionalism disgusts me. You're nothing better than a fat dude sitting at a computer making up lies about people. What a waste of space. Same to this website.

    • Maylinda Arons profile image

      Maylinda Arons 

      10 years ago

      Jeez, I love you so much for this, I think it's time you started to be afraid...!

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      11 years ago

      He is a fine looking man, isn't he...

    • livelonger profile image

      Jason Menayan 

      11 years ago from San Francisco

      Wow, that guy's bouf gives him an extra 2 inches. Forget the elevator shoes!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)