To Have - Ergo - To Have Not

Our language is geared to possessiveness.  Notice how even the premise assumes that we possess (our) language!

So "now you have it". You may as well know. This isn’t actually all about the 1937 Hemingway novel or that classic Howard Hawks 1944 film loosely based on it, folks. My apology for luring you in with that bait.

But since you're here, might as well read on anyway. There is possibly a delicious, delightfully delusional connection to be had! A happier ending would've made it more enchanting for Betty and Bogie, but they did HAVE it all while it lasted.

If not, it’s fun to remember Bogie and Bacall in the movie which launched one of Hollywood’s hottest and most enduring loves and marriages. She was 19 and he was 45 at the time they met, by the way, but it was literally a loving and happy “to have and to hold” for them, at least for as long as he lived. He died early in 1957 after battling esophageal cancer from years of heavy smoking and she reared their two small children alone until she remarried (to Jason Robards) after several years. That marriage lasted 8 years and they had one son together.

OK - back to the premise here: that ours is a possessive-inclined and inclining language. You don’t believe it? Just look at it. How do we describe our relationship with people, things - even intangibles?

We HAVE them. Yes. (I can almost hear George Carlin doing a routine on this one. - If he has done so, I am not aware of it. But if he has, - please let me know!)

Here is what we do: We declare we HAVE everything, constantly. Even if we have-not - we speak of whatever we're thinking about possessively, at least insofar as our language claims it. So if we’re not owning it with the verb “have”, then we grab possession of it with other convenient conventions such as possessive pronouns. Remember all that stuff in school? Whether or not we remember how we came by it, we incorporate possessive language into our vernacular usage constantly! We HAVE ample use of that, at least.

Here's a list of some of these possessions, just to illustrate. (ALMOST looks like my poetry style, doesn’t it?):

We have parents.

We have siblings.

We have friends.

We have “steadies”.

We have babies.

We have children.

We have husbands or wives.

(oops out of order there!)

We have our ends.

We have pets.

We have gardens.

We have mail.

We have debts.

We have pardons.

We have suspicions.

We have schemes.

We have delights.

We have favorites.

We have dreams.

We have trusts.

We have inspirations.

We have instincts.

We have aspirations.

We have lusts.

We have delusions.

We have grace.

We have gains.

We have a place.

We have health.

(or we have doctors/meds/aches & pains)

We have parties

(for pleasure or for politics).

We have fun.

We have advisors.

We have accounts.

(and they have us!)

We have some.

We have a mix!

We have views.

We have ideas.

We have “To Dos”.

We have no wires (we have wi-fi).

We have addictions.

We have desires.

We have Sci-Fi!

We have time (but never enough).

We have a schedule.

We have computers (obviously).

We have cyber friends).

We have a cell phone.

We have diets / routines.

We have regimens / habits.

We have perspectives.

We have loose ends.

We have mold.

We have opinions.

We have religions.

We have churches.

We have “have to haves”.

We have a cold (to which we're prone).

We have a following.

We have none.

We have our pride.

We have done.

We have our say.

We have our privacy.

We have the spirit.

We have a way.

We have those moments.

We have a ride.

We have educations.

(We ‘have’ no school - we go to one for education to have it.)

We have books.

We have front doors.

We have lawns.

We have “looks”.

We have style.

We have clothes.

We have favorite stores.

We have those.

We have - a while! (We hope!)

                     We have a coat.

                                       We have a hat.

                                                        We have this.

                                                                         We have that.

My, mine. (among the first words a toddler learns!)

Yours.

Ours. (what we hope the toddlers’ parents learn!)

Theirs.

His.

Hers

One’s (The indeterminate pronoun! Who cares who owns it or lacks it, so long as it is owned or decidedly is not!)

Its (even a thing can possess!)

Possess |pəˈzes|

verb [ trans. ]

1 have as belonging to one; own : I do (or do not) possess a television set.

• Law: have possession of as distinct from ownership : a two-year suspended sentence for possessing cocaine.

• have as an ability, quality, or characteristic : he did not possess a sense of humor | ( be possessed of) a fading blonde possessed of a powerful soprano voice.

• ( possess oneself of) archaic take for one's own : all that the plaintiffs did was to possess themselves of the securities.

2 (usu. be possessed) (of a demon or spirit, esp. an evil one) have complete power over (someone) and be manifested through their speech or actions : she was possessed by the Devil.

• (of an emotion, idea, etc.) dominate the mind of; have an overpowering influence on : I was possessed by a desire to tell her everything.

3 chiefly poetic/literary: have sexual intercourse with (a woman).

4 archaic: maintain (oneself or one's mind or soul) in a state or condition of patience or quiet : I tried to possess my soul in patience and to forget how hungry I was. [ORIGIN: often with biblical allusion to Luke 21:19, the proper sense (‘gain your souls’) being misunderstood.]

PHRASES

What possessed you? used to express surprise at an action regarded as extremely unwise : What possessed you to come here?  (Ahem!)

ORIGIN late Middle English : from Old French possesser, from Latin possess- ‘occupied, held,’ from the verb possidere, from potis ‘able, capable’ + sedere ‘sit.’

Have (something) going for one

Have (something) to do with

Have a ball

Have a bee in one’s bonnet

Have a bellyful (which may be dangerously near to having for this subject!)

Have a bird

Have a bone to pick with someone

Have a bun in the oven

Have a care

Have a cow

Have a feel for (possible prelude to have a baby!)

Have a few (might be another route to the baby having)

have a finger in every pie

Have a fit

Have a foot in both camps

Have a foot in the door

Have a frog in one’s throat

Have a go at

Have a good mind to do something

Have a heart

Have a heart of gold

Have a lock on

Have a mind of one’s own

Have a mind to do. . .

Have a nice day

Have a problem with

Have a run for one’s money

Have a screw loose

Have a soft spot for

Have a thick skin

Have a thing about

Have a tiger by the tail

Have a tin ear

Have a way with

Have a whale of a time

Have a will of one’s own

Have a word

Have al the answers

Have an ax to grind

Have an ear to the ground

Have an eye for

Have an eye to

Have another think coming

Have ants in one’s pants

Have at

Have bats int he belfry

Have been around

Have been around the block

Have been there before

Have blood on one’s hands

Have clean hands

Have designs on

Have everything

Have eyes for

Have eyes in the back of one’s head

Have eyes like a hawk

Have eyes like saucers

Have first dibs on

Have got (wow -That’s a DOUBLE possession situation!)

Have got it bad

Have got it good

Have had one’s day

Have it

Have it both ways

Have it coming

Have it easy

Have it in for

Have it in one

Have it made

Have it out

Have it your way

Have its uses

Have kittens

Have many irons in the fire

Have mercy on

Have need of

Have nerves of steel

Have no business

Have no concern with

Have no idea

Have no terrors for someone

Have no time for

Have no truck with

Have no use for

Have not a (mean or. . .) bone in one’s body

Have nothing on

Have nothing on someone

Have nothing to do with

Have nothing to lose

Have-nots

Have one foot in the grave

Have one too many

Have one’s blood (pressure) up

Have one’s cross to bear

Have one’s eye on

Have one’s feet firmly planted on the ground

Have one’s finger on the pulse

Have one’s hands full

Have one’s hands tied

Have one’s head in the clouds

Have one’s head screwed on

Have one’s heart in it

Have one’s heart in one’s mouth

Have one’s moments

Have one’s nose in a book

Have one’s way with

Have one’s will

Have one’s wits about one

Have one’s work cut out

Have only oneself to blame

Have other fist to fry

Have seen better days

Have seen it all before

Have shot one’s bolt (or foot)

Have someone eating out of one’s hand

Have someone for breakfast (OH MY - Hannibal Lecter strikes again!)

Have someone in he palm of one’s hand

Have someone on

Have someone or something in mind

Have someone’s ear

Have someone’s number

Have someone’s number on i

Have someone/something down as

Have something against someone

Have something at one’s feet

Have something coming out of one’s ears

Have something down to a fine art

Have something on

Have something on good authority

Have something on one’s side

Have something on the brain

Have something out

Have something to offer

Have something to one’s credit

Have something to oneself

Have something to say for oneself

Have something to show for

Have steam coming out of one’s ears

Have swallowed a dictionary (THIS one has self-promotion ideas!)

Have the advantage of

Have the better of

Have the courage of one’s convictions

Have the distinction of

Have the drop on

Have the face to do something

Have the goodness to do something

Have the heart to do something

Have the time

Have the upper hand

Have to hand it to someone

Have two left feet

Have what it takes.

Whew! That’s a lot of haves, and surely the have nots could also be listed; - but let’s not go there!

Did they forget to list “Have the audacity to”?

What else, then, is the point? - if I HAVE one? I thought I did but that lengthy list just about lost it for me or vice versa!

Oh, yes. now I recall.

CONCLUSION - (more like questions):

It was regardingt the underlying possessiveness in our everyday choices of language, with all the underlying dominance, even violence, which accompanies getting, having and retaining which we learn as toddlers, teach and practice as adults and generally take for granted. But wouldn’t it frustrate the government if we realized we have nothing for them to tax so that they can HAVE a chunk of it?

So it is about whether we really “have” (or need) all that? Maybe we only borrow it while we are here on Earth? Or MAYBE - all of it HAS us!! Whew. That would be a shocker. If is were so, how does it or could it - have us?

Well, it makes us dependent, obligated, anxious, maybe envious and stingy, depending on how insecure we are in our delusion of actual possession being a reality. The delusion does help us get to feeling as though we are secure or “well-off”, satisfied or “someone”, perhaps. But what does anything possessed really “have to do with” adding anything real or valuable to our security, satisfying our deepest needs or giving us any further authenticity beyond our own being and how well we use our nows?

I wouldn’t suggest we change our language and choice of words but perhaps we might examine our honest-to-goodness feelings about ownership and “having” whatever we crave and quest for, get and take for granted.

It could all so easily vanish in a snap of a finger; and if we have seriously relied on its being “ours”, we may be quite discombobulated when that inevitably happens!

But becoming more aware that all we “have” IS the present, life as it is immediately happening - while we have it - and then what we bring into it from inside ourselves, and what we extend from it to others - is what IT is and what we have. If it is lacking, it is because of our own choices. But it is MORE what we possess - what can be possessed - than all those other “haves”.

So how do we measure that? - or measure up to it?

                                   Fruitful life

                                Goes begging

                                While futile life

                                      Is fed.

                        __© Nellieanna H. Hay