Top 10 Songs to Ruin your Holiday
The Worst Chrismas Songs
10. Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire
Everyone from Justin Beiber to Michael Buble to the Carpenters has a rendition of this song and I don't quite know why. It is such a boring song that seems to continuously play with no end in sight. As soon as I hear those famous words, "chestnuts roasting on" I cringe in disgust.
9. Cheeky Christmas
Well, I actually never heard this song until I did some research about disliked Christmas songs. It honestly makes me realize the numbers I placed beside the songs mean nothing because this is atrocious. These half-naked, Romanian women singing odd lyrics and shaking their booties for a reindeer make me wonder wtf. Truly, it must be easy to get a record deal where they come from. Their singing ability is nonexistent, the lyrics include "very sexy in the snow" and the song consists of synthetic sleigh bells. In case you didn't get it before, let me reiterate. If you want trollops dancing at a pool party for Christmas, this is your jam!
8. Wonderful Christmastime
Paul McCartney ruined my holiday with this song. In fact, he made it a miserable Christmastime every time this awful song echoed through my stereo speakers. The synthesizer and the jingle bells in the background make this a sorry excuse for a holiday tune. I usually don't use this word in regards to songs, but this is just tacky. Tacky, cheesy and corny are all I have to say for this ditty.
7. Do they Know it's Christmas
No Band aid, they don't know it's Christmas or maybe they just don't care. Wait, who are "they" anyways? The songs states that they want to wrap their arms around the entire world for Christmas. Maybe, they should come to the realization that a lot of the world doesn't celebrate the holiday. Therefore, the people over in Africa that they mentioned, could care less about Christmas, because surprise idiots who wrote this song, they're not Christian, so when Jesus was born doesn't matter to them. And, to the artists who brought this song back, I hope you have a horrible holiday for making me listen to your version of a song that wasn't good to begin with!
6. Happy X-mas War is Over
What a depressing song. You know when something starts out, "so this is Christmas," it's going to be melancholy. Why did John Lennon have to repeat war is over throughout an entire Christmas song? Not to mention, he had to add a line in about race. This song is just very un-Christmasy. Even the beat reminds me of a song that should be played at a somber funeral rather than a family holiday gathering. In addition, it's merry not happy. At least he could have gotten that phrase correct, if he was going to ruin everything else about the song.
5. Christmas Conga
If it's not bad enough that there are a million songs out there like the cat daddy, the Macarena and the dougie that promote a dance, Cyndi had to ruin Christmas with a dance. "Come on and hold my hips a little longer As we do the Christmas conga, bonga, bonga, bonga, bonga." My fifteen month old says way more creative phrase and uses English better than conga, bonga, bonga, bonga.
4. Santa's Beard
I really wanted this song to be higher on the list, but it is just so hard when there are so many Christmas songs that should never be played on the radio again. Santa's Beard is another repetitive song, only it asks a million times, "is this the real Santa Claus" following more bothersome lines about Santa. Then, yet another annoying holiday brat begins do something awful. He removes Santa's pillow that was acting as his belly, then he yanks off Santa's beard. The song tells listeners how sad the boy is, but don't you think it should speak about Santa's experience with the misbehaving little monster? Could you imagine if you put the obnoxious hippopotamus girl in the same room with this little heathen?
3. Hippopotamus for Christmas
If the annoying little girl's voice isn't bad enough on this track, the lyrics are horrendous. I just want to scream at the little girl, "too bad you little brat, you're not going to get one." This is another song where I am wondering why the strange animals are part of Christmas. She talks about rhinos and crocodile, but never mentions the traditional holiday animal of a reindeer. The zoo should not be inspiration for Christmas jingles!
2. Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey
Since when is there a Christmas donkey? And, they call Rudolph the misfit. Don't you think Dominick is more of the misfit? I mean he doesn't have antlers, he's literally an ass and he can't even guide a sleigh. The song states he is better than a reindeer though, because he can climb the hills of Italy. Why can't the reindeer climb the hills of Italy, also? But, on a more serious note, the little kids of Italy speak to this donkey and he gets it. Everything about this song is wrong! I'm a little embarrassed to say I am Italian due to Dominick the Christmas Ass's writer.
1. Little Drummer Boy
So, this song is basically the Christmas version of Lambchop's "This is the Song that Never Ends." Seriously, this song just goes on and on and on. Is it really necessary to repeat pa rum pum pum pum so many times? And, was it really necessary for so many artists to redo the most annoying Christmas song ever? I still don't even know any of the lines to the song. Every time I hear it, this is all I hear...blah, blah, blah pa rum pum pum pum mumble, mumble, mumble pa rum pum pum pum mutter, mutter, mutter, mutter pa rum pum pum pum me and my drum.