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Totally Wrecked From Having a Ball

Updated on August 10, 2022
MFB III profile image

Artist, actor, poet, teacher, songwriter & actor with 4,000 poems & almost 1,000 songs written, performed recorded & published on line.

One never knows where they'll wind up when they are drunl

Too much booze and you lose all sense of your surroundings

Totally wrecked from having a ball.

We both tumbled home

like two huge, wrecking balls

let loose on a swinging chain

of fools drunkenly woven .

We couldn't in any way

drive and there wasn't any taxi

that would pick up such

a sotted pair without barf bags

in his backseat which we

would probably miss anyway.

We had been soundly bounced

out by the door guard due to

the volume of our voices and

the staggering we did

into other folks tables.

We were spilling drinks

everywhere on our zig-zag

paths to the men's room.

needless to say we were

no longer welcome among

all of those patrons.

I watered several trees

and then set off several

way too, sensitive car alarms

and kissed a beagle on the loose.

He howled rather loudly

at my over affectionate act

and my buddy and I joined in.

at least until seven porch lights

lit up the night and we

beat feet out of there.

Soon enough I stumbled

over the vert welcomed

door mat which turned out

to be my girlfriend,

who had left the bar two

hours before we did.

She was passed out cold,

on my front step and

she was quite lovely in repose.

We picked her up and fumbled

with the uneeded, key ring,

and then staggered in a trio

through the door, which surprisingly

enough had been left opened?

I got her to the couch which

was designer, but the room

was very dark so who would know,

and then I bumbled over

to a wide recliner

and went comatose

My buddy wound up somewhere

on the floor, hell I don't know?

We woke up the next morn to

someone screaming,

the shrillness of it still

echoes in my ears.

Like ten cats run over

by a steamroller.

I wasn't far off in my analogy .

A panicked, fat lady

in curlers and freshly installed

hearing aids, after she had

awakened from her not so

beautiful sleep, found us

three strange folks sprawled

in her living room..

She then grabbed a skillet from

her kitchen and she

was looking to

get us even more

woozy in our heads

then the night before.

We booked out the back door,

this time not stumbling,

even though our apologies did.

The townhouses we lived in

were quite a bit alike, so much

so that my girl, my friend, and I

each confused them, and almost

got hauled in for a B.+ E.

We all had a few laughs about it

later over the hair of

the dog that bit us.

So now I've put a sign up on my

doorway that says,

"If you can read this,

you are home."

cause Saturday's my only

night for drinking and carousing.

This way my neighbors can all sleep

in peace, and I'll stay hungover

my own damned commode.

© 2009 Matthew Frederick Blowers III


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