ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Used Organs For Sale

Updated on July 20, 2014

Before I get into detail on what I’ll be putting on the market, I’d like to point out that I did not come into possession of these organs illegally. They are my personal organs and I’ve had them in storage for a little over twenty-four years now. Each organ is made in the USA and manufactured in 1986. Most are as good as new, others have some wear and tear, but each organ comes with an implied guarantee. I won’t be asking for any certain price on these items and they’ll be sold to the highest bidder. Here are the following organs that I’m wanting to get rid of.


One liver for sale, 3 lbs, reddish brown in color. Good for storing and filtering blood. Liver is in good working condition and disease free. Comes with free gallbladder to store and concentrate secreted bile. Liver is also edible and will taste delicious when served with fava beans and a nice Chianti. Great for a romantic dinner. S/N Y01345433

Current Bid: $100.00

Small Intestine

One small intestine for sale, 6 meters in length (19 ft), and 2.5 cm in diameter. Good for digesting and absorbing food. Small intestine is like new and free of any infectious diseases. Can also be used for decorating or as a rope swing for the kids. S/N Y01345430

Current Bid: $0.00

Large Intestine

One large intestine for sale, 1.5 meters in length (4.9 ft). This is a must have for anyone putting together a digestive system or if you just want a fancy scarf. Can also be used as a jump rope. Large intestine runs great. Comes equiped with a colon to extract water and salt from solid wastes. Also included in this package deal is a cecum, a pouch that connects the colon to the large intestine. Pouch can be detached and doubles as a coin purse. S/N Y01345432

Current Bid: $0.01


Two balls for sale, average sized, hardly used. Comes with free bag for easy storage when purchased as a pair and not separately. Balls are not made of brass, so handle with care. Choking hazard. S/N Y01345438-9

Current Bid: $502.00 & one 12 pack of beer


Nerves for sale. Good for coordinating actions and transmitting signals throughout the body. Will not work without a brain. Purchase this item if you want to have a lot of nerve or just as a gift. Perfect for someone without feelings. S/N Y01345436

Current Bid: $0.05


One brain for sale, gray in color, weighs about 3 lbs. Brain has never been used. Password protected and I forgot the password. Can be reprogrammed. Good for coming up with ideas or as a paperweight. Brain is a little dirty. Brainwash needed. Perfect for mad scientists who need to give their creation life. Brain is tumor free, but might have schizophrenia. For ages 3 and up. S/N 01345437

Current Bid: $0.04


Skin for sale. This is the largest organ for purchase. White in color with some tanned spots. Skin has been worn. Has several scars and freckles, but is in good working condition. Includes a lot of body hair. Skin can be used as a suit and can be tailored to fit. Size 32 waist and 34 length. Perfect for a Halloween costume. May need some underarm deodorant. S/N Y01345440

Current Bid: $0.00


Lungs for sale, come as a pair. Cannot be sold separately. Can hold air for approximately 32 seconds. Lungs produce carbon dioxide which may or may not be bad for the environment. S/N Y01345435

Current Bid: $60.00


One heart for sale, red in color, about the size of a fist. Heart has been broken and might require a little repair. Can be fixed with love. Perfect for someone who’s heartless or just needs a change of heart. Can be used to pump blood or as a stress ball. A great gift idea. S/N Y01345442

Current Bid: $1.00

Free Stomach

One free stomach. Present owner is abusive and hardly feeds it. Free to a good home. Likes spaghetti and Subway.

That’s all the organs I’m willing to sell at this time. Shipping and handling is free. First 5 buyers will receive a free organ not mentioned on this list, so act today and while supplies last. Don't forget to place a bid and add the S/N for the item you wish to purchase. Thank you for your interest.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)