What You Don't Know About Your Lawn Gnome
Lawn gnomes are common occupants of lawns and gardens everywhere. They are cute, decorative little creatures that sit proudly in a spot of your choosing, smiling out at passers by. But did you know that's not quite all they're good for? While they brighten up the appearance of your lawn or garden, they are well known to cause quite the occasional ruckus. They can also be quite an annoyance to a neglectful host.
There are probably a few things you should know about that cheerful little guy in your yard. Have a seat and prepare to be informed about what your lawn gnome is up to while you're not looking; the good, the bad, and the mischievous.
Secrets of the Gnome
Lawn gnomes are cute little buggers, aren't they? The moment they are placed in your garden, they brighten up the atmosphere, radiating positive energy to onlookers. It's common knowledge that laughter is contagious, and that's especially true with garden gnomes. All they have to do is smile, and everyone in sight will find themselves smiling, too.
They are silent observers. Nothing that goes on within the limits of your property will go unnoticed by these guys. And if you have more than one, word will travel fast. As long as they are kept happy by their hosts, they will do what they can to protect against malicious intruders. Their most common line of defense is placing themselves directly in the intruder's path, intentionally tripping him.
However, don't underestimate their ability to do the same to you. A lawn gnome will not hesitate to trip someone it does not particularly like. Avoid angering these creatures.
Still wondering how your neighbor found out about that secret of yours? Your gnome overheard your phone conversation, and told her gnome. Watch what you say around them, they love gossip.
Those piles of poo you keep finding in your yard? It's not the neighbor's dog.
You're out sunbathing. You reach for your glass of lemonade, only to find that much more is gone than you recall drinking. We all know that feeling. Gnomes love to steal sips of lemonade, as well as fresh fruit from the picnic basket.
If your gnome is missing, it's likely that he just ran away. Lawn gnomes are creatures with big dreams, and often abandon their hosts to go in search of a better life somewhere. Preferably, one that includes fame and fortune.
The lawn gnome species is generally in cahoots with the infamous sock thief. They will find a way to let him into your house, and they will find a way to smuggle him (and your socks) back out.
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How to Care for a Gnome
The number one rule for owning a lawn gnome is to carefully control the amount of water they get. Gnomes like to stay clean, but they don't want to drown in the sprinkler either. Put your lawn gnome in a place where the sprinklers won't hit him, but be sure to give him a good hosing down every once in a while.
Also, give your gnome a good view. They like to have a view of the sidewalk, so they can spy on passersby.
Don't allow pets to pee on your garden gnome. Naturally, he will become agitated. If this happens, wash your gnome right away. If you don't at least attempt to console him, there may be negative consequences. This gnome will spread the word.
Make sure your gnome won't be covered by overgrowth in the garden. They hate when that happens, and they will begin to retaliate against you. Consider yourself warned.
Give them some recognition from time to time. They may appear to be just a decoration for your garden, but they are not. A little bit of exaggerated admiration in the general direction of your lawn gnome will suffice just fine.
More About Lawn Gnomes
- The Legend of the Garden Gnome
There is a lot more to garden gnomes than meets the eye! These elusive creatures have inspired much folklore. Even Garden Gnome liberation groups have formed to protect them.....
- Using Funny Garden Gnomes for Self-Defense
Garden gnomes are not useless. They can be effective for protection and self-defense. Instead of pepper spray or firearms, a well aimed gnome can easily stop someone trying to do you harm.
© 2012 Kristen Haynie