- Entertainment and Media
Why I now shop online
A short story of buying a Christmas gift for my wife.
A few years ago I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. My wife makes it very hard to shop for because there is never really anything she wants or needs. But if I ever hear her speaking about anything that she likes I get it for her. A few weeks after asking her what she wanted, she came to me and said that she wanted a "Magic Bullet". Jackpot she knows what she wants. But what is a "Magic Bullet?"
I went and sat down at my computer and I Googled "Magic Bullet". Below is what came up in the search results.
After I had a coronary and I pulled myself back into my chair. I had to speak with her. I walked into the other room where she was cooking and I asked her "honey, do you really think it is appropriate to ask your husband for such a thing? Especially at Christmas time?" She gave me a "what are you talking about look" and asked what I was talking about. After taking her into the other room and showing her the search results, she began laughing. She explained to me that the "Magic Bullet" that she wanted was a blender. And that her friends told her the blender was a personal, versatile counter top magician for making smoothies. After shaking my head, we both had a good laugh about it.
After I got paid on the next Friday, I decided to go to Walmart and buy some gifts for different ones. I shopped around for a couple of hours and had quite a few. I could not for the life of me find my wife's present though. I walked a few more aisles until I came up upon a young sales associate. When I asked her which aisle I could find a "Magic Bullet" in she almost collapsed. When she regained her composure she let me know "um sir, I seriously doubt that you will find that at Walmart. We are a family store". After laughing for about a minute I explained to the lady that I was not purchasing for my wife, what she thought I was. And that I was in search of a personal, versatile counter top magician for making smoothies, that happened to be called a "Magic Bullet".
The sales associate was kind enough to ask for help. She got out her walkie-talkie and shouted over the intercom that a man in aisle 14 was needing assistance with a "Magic Bullet". Apparently, other women in the store had heard about both products as well. As a lot of them decided to run to aisle 14 to see who the pervert was that wanted such an obscene product at a family store. After barely escaping, with what little dignity I had left, I decided to go home. I bought her the Magic Bullet online and have shopped there ever since.