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What the Crap: Oatmeal Edition

Updated on July 6, 2011



It All Started On A Normal Day

My fella and I were shopping for essential weekend snacks, like cheap beer and rice cakes (we’re eccentric), when we stumbled upon a great little sale at the local <chain> grocery store.  We started out only needing 4 items, but quickly filled our cart with various ancillary garbage so we could save what probably amounted to pennies on each purchase.  This is a common trap I fall into, especially at Ralph’s Buy 10-Select-Items-And-Save-A-Bajillion-Dollars sale.  Unfortunately for my wallet, we were sucked into this whirlwind of “savings” and 4 items quickly jumped to 15 (gotta have the 1 buffer item, just in case).    

While wandering through the aisles, I was delighted to see that oatmeal was one of the selected items.  After weeks of eating cold cereal every morning, I thought a warm bowl of sugary goodness would be the exact change I needed to turn my whole world around.  However, as I perused the flavors, I noticed a slightly peculiar sign:

Oatmeal Crap On Sale

What's There To Hate?


Why So Down, Charlie Brown?

Was this an honest mistake or the mastery of an extremely disgruntled employee?  Did this person have a vendetta against all oatmeal or just Quaker specifically?  Perhaps he/she has a personal beef with the Quaker Oats Man with his plain clothes and smug smile.  Was I the only person to notice this lonely employee’s cry for help?  Was there anything I could do to reach out and save this bitter sign-maker?  I quickly decided I was way too far along on my own personal journey to be bothered with anyone else’s, so I grabbed a box of the crap (variety pack, of course) and made my way to the check-out line. 

Alas, I giggle every time I enjoy a bowl of crap oatmeal and wonder if that lost soul has settled the score with the white-haired man in the black hat.  I hope that whoever made that sign finds the kind of peace that I have when I place a spoonful of warm hearty oatmeal on my tongue.


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    • Megavitamin profile image

      Megavitamin 7 years ago

      I completely agree. Anyone who walks around in that hat and wears a smile that says "Yeah, I know I look good" is obviously able to take care of business. That disgruntled employee better watch his/her back!

      Thanks for the comment! I'm glad my ramblings entertained you :0)

    • Canklefish profile image

      Bizz 7 years ago from East Coast

      The disgruntled employee obviously doesn't hail from the 'pick your battles' school of thought; The Quaker oats dude isn't somebody to be taken lightly, on any level...

      This hub put a smile on my face, that may very possibly last the entire day...

    • Megavitamin profile image

      Megavitamin 7 years ago

      Glad to amuse you, Jason. Thanks for stopping by!

    • profile image

      Jason 7 years ago


    • Megavitamin profile image

      Megavitamin 7 years ago

      Thanks for reading!

    • lmmartin profile image

      lmmartin 7 years ago from Alberta and Florida

      Funny. Thanks for sharing. Lynda