ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

What the Crap: Oatmeal Edition

Updated on July 6, 2011



It All Started On A Normal Day

My fella and I were shopping for essential weekend snacks, like cheap beer and rice cakes (we’re eccentric), when we stumbled upon a great little sale at the local <chain> grocery store.  We started out only needing 4 items, but quickly filled our cart with various ancillary garbage so we could save what probably amounted to pennies on each purchase.  This is a common trap I fall into, especially at Ralph’s Buy 10-Select-Items-And-Save-A-Bajillion-Dollars sale.  Unfortunately for my wallet, we were sucked into this whirlwind of “savings” and 4 items quickly jumped to 15 (gotta have the 1 buffer item, just in case).    

While wandering through the aisles, I was delighted to see that oatmeal was one of the selected items.  After weeks of eating cold cereal every morning, I thought a warm bowl of sugary goodness would be the exact change I needed to turn my whole world around.  However, as I perused the flavors, I noticed a slightly peculiar sign:

Oatmeal Crap On Sale

What's There To Hate?


Why So Down, Charlie Brown?

Was this an honest mistake or the mastery of an extremely disgruntled employee?  Did this person have a vendetta against all oatmeal or just Quaker specifically?  Perhaps he/she has a personal beef with the Quaker Oats Man with his plain clothes and smug smile.  Was I the only person to notice this lonely employee’s cry for help?  Was there anything I could do to reach out and save this bitter sign-maker?  I quickly decided I was way too far along on my own personal journey to be bothered with anyone else’s, so I grabbed a box of the crap (variety pack, of course) and made my way to the check-out line. 

Alas, I giggle every time I enjoy a bowl of crap oatmeal and wonder if that lost soul has settled the score with the white-haired man in the black hat.  I hope that whoever made that sign finds the kind of peace that I have when I place a spoonful of warm hearty oatmeal on my tongue.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Megavitamin profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      I completely agree. Anyone who walks around in that hat and wears a smile that says "Yeah, I know I look good" is obviously able to take care of business. That disgruntled employee better watch his/her back!

      Thanks for the comment! I'm glad my ramblings entertained you :0)

    • Canklefish profile image


      8 years ago from East Coast

      The disgruntled employee obviously doesn't hail from the 'pick your battles' school of thought; The Quaker oats dude isn't somebody to be taken lightly, on any level...

      This hub put a smile on my face, that may very possibly last the entire day...

    • Megavitamin profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Glad to amuse you, Jason. Thanks for stopping by!

    • profile image


      8 years ago


    • Megavitamin profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Thanks for reading!

    • lmmartin profile image


      8 years ago from Alberta and Florida

      Funny. Thanks for sharing. Lynda


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)