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Why I've Disconnected From Game Of Thrones

Updated on May 17, 2019
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Ashleign is a woodworker and yard enthusiast. He loves helping people get enthusiastic about working in their yards.

Game Of Groans


Pardon me while I belt out a yawn, followed by a yell, followed by teary eyes. Nothing has bored me more than the first two episodes of Season 8 of Game of Thrones. Friends, please forgive me if you do not feel the same way.

2 years ago we ended the 7th Season of Game of thrones. We waited patiently for the release and to which we thought we would see, a glorious two hour per episode representation of what we had all anticipated. Unfortunately, for some of us, this was met with a huge wet fart to the face, which has turned us away from enjoying the show.

"Soap Opera of the Gods," I said as the ending credits showed on my screen from Episode 1 of Season 8. A show with nothing about strategy, or betrayal. Simply nothing but talking. It was like that sequel to a movie that really didn't need a sequel, but B rated actors needed work. The first 10 minutes was nothing but call-backs to characters. They literally could have put everyone in the parade of people coming down the road, and all would be remembered. There was no need in introducing anyone, we all know who they are. It was like the writers of the show forgot that there were millions of people watching YouTube videos about Game of Thrones for two years, and getting caught up before the debut.

Speaking of the writers..

Strategist Smategist

For the love of all that is snowy.. Jon Snow is not a strategist. Clearly he's not. Freeing the wildlings and allying against them was a good call, but not when it comes to being stabbed to death by your closest friends and the youngest douchebag since King Joffrey. I have to hate on Jon Snow. Who in the hell, thought it was a good idea, to send the Cavalry (Dothraki) in first? Who decided it would be a good idea to have all of your artillery (trebuchets and catapults) in front of the reserve? If this was Jon Snow, it was too little too late. Of course Danny is going to run off and do her own thing. She's a she. She's not going to listen to you Jon, you beta male wannabe.

People Are Dying!

People are dying, and I still don't care. I shed no tears even for my most favorite individuals. I am without want, need, or fear for their lives. I knew the Hound was going to die, the moment he did that very fatherly look at Arya. It lost me though. The level of F^&ks I gave before for Arya, Hound, Mountain, Tyrion, Jamie, Jon, and Grey Worm, were all gone. Do you know why? Because I had to wait two f#^king years to find out what happened, only to be met by 2 boring-ass, no death episodes, followed by the STUPIDEST strategy in the history of ever. Followed by the Night King dying, who didn't even have a kickass, Lord of the Sith, sword fight.

I mean he didn't do shit! He just stood there. Most evil Motherf&*cker in the known universe, and he just died.. Oh.. It's over.. sigh of relief. Me: Turns off the TV.

There were moments of hope.

There were moments of hope in Episode 4. I thought, maybe I over exaggerated, maybe the lord of whispers can make everything okay again. Maybe the betrayal and the love making will return with its greatest comeback since Starsearch or Cats. "Finally the writers have their heads out of their asses," or "That was actually a pretty good episode." These are the things I said after it. It was looking up!

Then Episode 5. It was like the writers knew that Game of Thrones was on its way back up, that the story, would once again be interesting. "Nope," they said, We can't let this happen. So what do they do? They kill the interesting parts by sentencing Varys to death. We are back to a Seinfeld show about nothing. Game of Thrones is doomed. DOOMED I TELL YOU. They should have ended it at Season 7. Assumed the Night King killed everyone, and left with a bang.

Can't they just kill Arya already?

I am so done. I am tired of getting upset over the potential death of one of our most favorite characters, Tyrion. I hope he survives. Arya on the other hand..

Every time a rock would fall in Episode 5, I would hope, hit Arya, hit Arya! I am so tired of her character. She has killed the Night King, without a kickass sword-fight, and she has sexed Gendry. She has served her purpose.. Can we put her to rest finally? Please? I mean it wouldn't be the worst writing if she somehow, didn't make it. You've killed all the good actors. Dontcha think it's time to kill off the crappier ones?

Make Jon Snow King, kill all the boring characters, wake us up, and please, for the love of snow, have the lord of light bring back Varys.


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