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Why Men Hate Edward Cullen - but would really love to be him

Updated on May 25, 2017

Edward Cullen the sparkling vampire, creation of the mind of Mormon mother Stephanie Mayer and as the T-shirts tell us the vampire who’s been "Raising the standard for prospective boyfriends since 1911" is causing disarray in households all across the globe, disgruntled guys are complaining about how much time their women are spending watching and reading the latest sagas of this beautiful but very fictional character.

When you consider 99.9 percent of Twilight fans are female then it starts to become very apparent why the guys are so hacked off. I, as a woman can speak from the heart and be honest about what it is we find so compelling about the character Edward because its not just teenage girls but women of rather more mature years (cough cough) that are fascinated by this impossibly good looking leading man.

I think ultimately all women want that fairy tale romance, that all encompassing, powerful love that you first experience when you’re 12 years old and you develop your first crush.  The boy you think is way out of your league but occasionally passes you by and gives you a crooked smile or a wink and you feel like your heart skips a beat.

Of course we all know as we grow older that isn’t love after all its a mixture of lust and infatuation .Those rather immature feelings are replaced by grown up love with respect and reliability and a whole host of other more important (but far less exciting..Or should I say shallow?)  attributes.

 So we find ourselves craving that rush of adrenaline we got from our first love/lust, and the fact we never quite get it means it remains a perfect fantasy in our minds.  (Yes, Bella does get Edward  ...But she doesn’t get him fully (sexually) until the 4th book. Ms Myers has us girls literally BEGGING by this point for his resolve to weaken and when it eventually does; well obviously it’s more than explosive it’s positively life changing!

With someone like Edward Cullen the excitement never ends, it never becomes 'normal' it’s always going to be a rush.

His deep rather edgy character coupled with the fact that Stephanie Myer decided to pick a rather stunning looking actor to play the role of Edward only serves to heighten the potential for obsession. Many fans have admitted they are Edward fans and not Robert Fans, Robert as good looking as he isn’t the fairy tale character they want.

So what’s the moral of the story guys? If you want women to fawn over you then should follow closely in Edwards’s footsteps. Try not to smile too often, Jacob has a beautiful smile which he uses often, but it’s only ever got him a poor second place though. You should try and remain as slim as possible; the half starved look is apparently quite attractive.

Lastly you should find a bazillion reasons why your relationship will not work and continually point them out to the girl you say you love thus breaking her heart on a more or less weekly basis. Of course you should remember you cannot give into your carnal lust no matter how much your needy rather beautiful girlfriend begs you too.

And this my friends is why men guys hate Edward Cullen , not because “Vampires don’t sparkle!” and all the lame excuses they throw at us for their utter contempt it’s as simple as they cannot compete with someone who possess that amount of sheer resolve. They should have worked out by now that it’s ok and it’s not their fault , Edward isn’t real , trying to compete with a fantasy is always going to make you the loser so give it up!

It’s quite hard to believe when you see it in black and white like this that is indeed what females want .I  guess we must all be secret masochists which is nothing short of embarrassing, but if Edward walked in the room now would I get up to leave?...hmmm...

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