ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Women’s Genius & Insanity

Updated on September 13, 2019

If you had access to a hidden camera strategically placed at my home over the last three days, you would have been baffled by a strange behavior that may have seared your eyeballs. You would have been treated to a view of me going about my daily affairs in the dignified manner traditionally expected of a De Greek, only to suddenly see me jumping three feet into the air like a young gazelle being attacked by a cheetah on the plains of Africa, with a girlish scream escaping my cherry coloured lips each time this happened.

The reason for this is that throughout the last three days, at the most unexpected and inopportune moments, my wife has been grabbing my ass. She says that it is hers and she can do with it as she wishes. Go figure.

There may be loony houses stuffed with what medical men, uncaring of accuracy, may technically call the insane, but women in general are the only ones deserving the title. I can state unequivocally for the benefit of my female readers that male dignity is a sensitive plant which nourishes only under the fairest conditions and such conditions do not exist in a house where the male of the species has to be in constant guard of his ass.

The reason for this shameless exhibition on the part of my wife is poetry. As most of you will know by now, my friend Feline Prophet and I do not have a poetic bone in our bodies and we could not write verse if our life depended on it, but we can shamelessly plagiarize with the best of them. So having come across a poem by Tennyson, I printed it on a piece of paper and stuck it on the refrigerator for my wife to find. I even put Tennyson’s name at the bottom, so you cannot really call it plagiarising.

We fell out, my wife and I,

O, we fell out, I know not why,

And kiss’d again with tears.

And blessings on the falling out

That all the more endears,

When we fall out with those we love

And kiss’d again with tears!

It is an indication of the insanity of the female of the species that since she saw that poem taped on the refrigerator, she has not given me a moment’s peace and my life has ceased to be my own. There are now black circles around my eyes because, besides the ass grabbing, when we go to bed she cannot go to sleep unless she lays her head on my chest and wraps herself around me. The De Greeks may be men of steel, but we have our limits, so we end up giving in to temptation with the result that we lose our beauty sleep and we end up with circles under our eyes.

We men are simple creatures and are easily confused. One day your woman will look upon you as a God, a male specimen that puts to shame all other males since time immemorial. She may refer to your snoring with a gentle dreamy look on her face, the same look you see on a mother when she looks at her new-born child and say how much she enjoys staying up half the night listening to your snoring. In fact she may even go further than that and say how well you sing in the bath. Yet the very next day she may look upon you as something that the FDA has condemned with shocked horror on its face, while wearing double layers of its infection proof uniforms.


Now I must stop for a breather here, for the simple reason that I have often given offence to various people with my writing and I do not wish to do so again. So I shall not continue this story to its end. I shall wait for comments from you lot to see whether I have gone too far again, or whether you want me to continue. Of course you may not give a fig about hearing the end of the story, but that in itself will be an indication on whether I should seek another occupation more suitable to my abilities and talent. In any case, Green Lotus put me up to it, with a comment she made on my last hub, so it is not really my fault. Blame her.

Dimitris Mita

De Greek


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)