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How To Know when your House Is Dirty

Updated on July 1, 2012
Dirty House
Dirty House | Source

Recently I paid my bachelor brother a visit at his "Pad" and I couldn't believe the level of uncleanliness in his home. For me it defied all logic and I couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the disarray and perhaps gag a little. Anyway I created this list as a sort of joke to him. Some of it may make you laugh some may make shock you but here we go.

YOU KNOW YOUR HOUSE IS DIRTY WHEN....

1) The inside of your toilet is filled with brown gelatine (appearing almost as though someone had just used it) even when it is already flushed.

2) You are exposed to a fly-by every few minutes of either fruit flies or other insects.

3) It now only takes less then 24 hours for fresh bred to turn blue.

4) You can reach behind your couch and pull out pizza crusts, apple cores or a black banana (I think?!).

5) Your cat can't distinguish between it's kitty litter box and the rest of the home.

6) When someone opens and closes your fridge the smell is mistaken for a horrible bowel movement.

7) Your shower becomes the designated area for empty booze bottles.

8) The mold on your dishes convinces you to simply throw them out and buy new ones.

9) You mistakenly use a random trash bag in your living room as a cushion.

10) You aren't sure what the food is in your fridge.

11) The garbage man begins to think no one lives at your residence as there is never any trash bags at the curb.

12) Your cat is too fat to chase all the mice / rats that have infested your house as he has gorged himself on the creatures for far too long.

Okay, so maybe a few of them were a little over the top but for the sake of humor I think you understand. No worries though suffice to say we helped him clean up his messy home and he is now much happier (at least a lot more than when we were cleaning it).

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    • terrektwo profile image
      Author

      Candle Hour 5 years ago from North America

      lionel1 - sorry to make you sick, as things happen I often write hubs on them.

    • lionel1 profile image

      lionel1 5 years ago

      Disgusting makes me want to throw up, but thanks for the post.

    • terrektwo profile image
      Author

      Candle Hour 5 years ago from North America

      Becky Katz, pretty funny, I guess she'll just have to get used to it or stopping leaving the, in her room.

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      My husband asked where the fruit flies were coming from. I went looking and found the dishes that had gone missing. In my daughter's bedroom, under her bed and in the closet. I now inspect her room on a daily basis. She is not happy with me but I am.

    • terrektwo profile image
      Author

      Candle Hour 5 years ago from North America

      I agree not the best evironment to live in for sure

    • barry1001 profile image

      barry1001 5 years ago from North Wales

      That house is a pigsty!!

    • terrektwo profile image
      Author

      Candle Hour 5 years ago from North America

      iamholm I know what you mean, tis a pigsty :)

    • iamholm profile image

      iamholm 5 years ago from Florida

      Ewww! I always professed that a house wasn't a home until you could write "I Love You" in the dust, now I want to go scrub everything!

    • terrektwo profile image
      Author

      Candle Hour 5 years ago from North America

      Thanks a bunch Nexusx2

    • Nexusx2 profile image

      Nexusx2 5 years ago

      I have watched a number of hoarder tv shows and they all look exactly like the photo. There are several conditions that might link to having a dirty house.

      I loved this hub, great work.

    • terrektwo profile image
      Author

      Candle Hour 5 years ago from North America

      he he nice one lorenmurcia!

    • lorenmurcia profile image

      lorenmurcia 5 years ago

      If my students can see this, the'll ask me: Didn't his teacher teach him that cleanliness is next to godliness? :)

    • terrektwo profile image
      Author

      Candle Hour 5 years ago from North America

      he he that's cool :)

    • profile image

      Wilfion 5 years ago

      I clicked on this hub after seeing the photo and wondering how you had a photo of my kitchen. I recently threw out some HP sauce, which had "By Appointment to Her Majesty Queen Victoria" printed on the label.