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How To Know when your House Is Dirty
Recently I paid my bachelor brother a visit at his "Pad" and I couldn't believe the level of uncleanliness in his home. For me it defied all logic and I couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the disarray and perhaps gag a little. Anyway I created this list as a sort of joke to him. Some of it may make you laugh some may make shock you but here we go.
YOU KNOW YOUR HOUSE IS DIRTY WHEN....
1) The inside of your toilet is filled with brown gelatine (appearing almost as though someone had just used it) even when it is already flushed.
2) You are exposed to a fly-by every few minutes of either fruit flies or other insects.
3) It now only takes less then 24 hours for fresh bred to turn blue.
4) You can reach behind your couch and pull out pizza crusts, apple cores or a black banana (I think?!).
5) Your cat can't distinguish between it's kitty litter box and the rest of the home.
6) When someone opens and closes your fridge the smell is mistaken for a horrible bowel movement.
7) Your shower becomes the designated area for empty booze bottles.
8) The mold on your dishes convinces you to simply throw them out and buy new ones.
9) You mistakenly use a random trash bag in your living room as a cushion.
10) You aren't sure what the food is in your fridge.
11) The garbage man begins to think no one lives at your residence as there is never any trash bags at the curb.
12) Your cat is too fat to chase all the mice / rats that have infested your house as he has gorged himself on the creatures for far too long.
Okay, so maybe a few of them were a little over the top but for the sake of humor I think you understand. No worries though suffice to say we helped him clean up his messy home and he is now much happier (at least a lot more than when we were cleaning it).