ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

You Might Be An Engineer If....

Updated on September 5, 2018
Noelle7 profile image

Vivian uses a common sense approach to explore the social issues of today.

Communication

  1. You’ve been away on business for a week and can sum up your adventures in 30 seconds when you arrive home to catch up with your spouse (who has at least 2 solid hours of conversation ready—possibly more if you have children).
  2. You appreciate a rude bank teller who doesn’t address you at the drive-thru because you dread banal chit-chat anyway.
  3. You order carry-out online whenever possible to avoid human contact.
  4. You prefer to sit with a stranger on an airplane instead of your co-worker because conversation becomes entirely optional.
  5. People only realize you are angry about something when you explode because you internalize most grievances.
  6. Like a GPS to the directionally impaired, your wife is your personal navigation system. She leads you through all socially awkward situations. By socially awkward, I mean any time you're with another person.
  7. You talk to yourself a lot when you think no one is watching.
  8. Your wife can recite the whole life story of a stranger you just met while you struggle to remember his first name (if you even recall meeting the person to start with).
  9. You are compelled to point out the ripe inaccuracies of movie scenes that defy all the laws of physics.

This is what engineering at home looks like

Family

  1. You only know what your kids are up to because your wife tells you daily. Otherwise, you might forget you even have kids.
  2. At family get togethers, everyone understands when you eat and immediately leave the table, even though this behavior would be considered impolite and offensive for anyone else.
  3. You see no problem with napping while babysitting a toddler.
  4. Even though it would require interaction, it’s okay to feed your children, bathe them, and put them to bed instead of waiting for your wife to do it. Every. Single. Day.
  5. You’re dumbfounded your wife appears visibly upset over the lack of advance notice about something because she failed to read your mind and intuitively know about your change of plans.
  6. Your wife thinks it must be foreplay when you give her fifteen minutes of solid conversation, mingled with a few forced words of affirmation.
  7. You feel like you’re just along for the ride most of the time.
  8. You attend church with your family but could never conceive of fellowshipping with any of the other members after the service.
  9. You’re Golden Boy to mom and dad because you always call them and send them holiday greetings with regularity, even though it would rarely occur to you to initiate contact without your wife’s frequent reminders. Don’t take this away from them. Let them keep thinking you’re considerate.
  10. When the phone or doorbell rings, you holler for your wife because it would be ludicrous to think you’d answer either one.
  11. You are content to be with your wife and kids. No other relationships are necessary.
  12. Every time you attempt to compliment your wife, it ends up sounding like an insult.
  13. You get disgruntled with your wife for making all the decisions without considering your opinion. There's a reason for that. You never voice an opinion.
  14. You over-engineer all of your home improvement projects. You design and plan and think and plan and tweak and stand back and think some more. Then you never finish the project. But don’t worry, at least you got to invest hundreds of dollars into cool tools you’ll probably never use again. Thumbs up!

Work-Related

  1. It might not be Klingon, but the way you talk to other engineers seems like your own made-up, techie-techie language.
  2. Why so many security clearances? No one understands what the heck you’re doing anyway.
  3. You know very little about the personal lives of anyone at the office.
  4. You squirm when management suggests more team work.
  5. Company picnics are just uncomfortable gatherings of people who’d rather be staring at their shoe laces.
  6. They say there are two kinds of people: dreamers and doers. You’re neither. If we could add thinker/procrastinator to the list, you'd nail it.
  7. Annual employee reviews are farcical. How can you assess a group of people whose goal is to blend in rather than stand out?
  8. Your wife can’t explain what you do when she’s asked.
  9. You test different routes to and from work and then choose the one that is two seconds shorter.
  10. You’re not going to put up with the office jerk! No way! You’re going open up a serious can of passive-aggressiveness!

Good Sports

Poke fun of engineers, we may; however, you’ll never find a more loyal, intelligent, competent group of people. Without engineers and all their quirks, the world would unravel. The results of their expertise and handiwork are essential for daily living. If you know and appreciate an engineer, give him a pat on the back. Words aren’t necessary.

How Do You Define "Smart" Anyway?

What About the Engineers You Know?

Are the engineers you know good communicators?

See results

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)